Jeanne, 20 years old: “My brother thinks I exaggerate with my feminist speeches”

• First name : Jeanne
• Age : 20 years
• Occupation : Student
• Place of life : Reims

How would you describe your relationship with feminism?

Feminism is important to me. Even though we are almost in 2024, our rights are far from being achieved. We see this with some everyday objects, such as sanitary pads that are just starting to be tested with real blood, or airbags, recently tested on smaller sizes…

It also bothers me that we judge women for each of their actions while always making excuses for men.

In what context did you grow up?

I didn’t grow up in a feminist environment, even though my great-grandmother always told me to never let a man put his hands on me. Some of my loved ones received my reaction rather virulently. This is the case of my brother who believes that I go too far in my speeches.

When did you first become a feminist?

I must have been 12 or 14 years old. It happened completely naturally. A teacher of the Moral and Civic Education course explained to us that women’s rights are not acquired everywhere in the world, that some girls get married at 12 to people who are 40 or 50 years old. But, going back even earlier, I think cartoons also played a small role in my awareness. In particular, seeing the princesses become heroines at the end of each episode…

Then all this grew over time, thanks to the books and shows I discovered, through the different people I met in my life.

How does feminism permeate your life today?

Feminism has a positive influence on my life and pushes me to change. In my school I would like to install a condom dispenser to raise awareness of sexually transmitted diseases, I share a lot of feminist content on my social networks (@madmoizelle, @wicul_, @icones.media…), I use washable and non-disposable sanitary pads.

From a friendly point of view, I pay attention to my choice of friends and do not hesitate to rebuke someone when they exaggerate in their comments about women. This is also the case in my family environment, where I try to explain the different issues of gender equality, the new government measures in favor of women (the free morning-after pill or refunded sanitary pads, for example, even if the rules they don’t stop at 25 years, equal pay). I try to make them understand that a woman is free with her body, that it is not because she sleeps with 10, 30, 40 or 600 people that she is a “slut” OR “an easy girl”. Some members of my family have trouble understanding this.

From a sexual point of view I am very liberated. I like to try new things with a normal or different partner. I had my first penetrative sex when I was 18. For me it wasn’t inevitable, but I felt some pressure because my cousin and brother had done it before me when they were younger. It almost hurt, because being the eldest I could see myself doing it before them. I don’t know if this has anything to do with the fact that I am sexually free today.

This doesn’t sit well with some of my family members who think I should find someone stable. However, I wonder about my potential polyamorous orientation.

As for my choices, I know that I don’t want children because I don’t like them and I can’t see myself growing up as a person who always needs me, while I need freedom. . I would also like to live separately from my partner because I need my own living space. Also, I would like to be my own boss if everything goes well in life.

As for my love life, it’s quite complicated to explain… I really appreciate my solitude and independence, however sometimes I can feel envious of couples and this puts me in a bad mood for several days, even weeks.

Have you let go of certain habits, deconstructed some of your beliefs, or set new boundaries?

Yes, but it’s not always easy. For example, I don’t have the means to stop fast fashion Kiabi, which however exploits the most disadvantaged and precarious women. I can’t find my size anywhere, not even in thrift stores…

Besides that, I know what I want from men, I also assert myself to assert my ideas and my rights, especially in front of my family members. My feminism can be a source of friction around me, because, for some, I go too far in my struggles. For example, when I go on vacation, I am asked to bring disposable, non-washable towels. Or maybe I’m asked to avoid starting debates about events that the media talks about…

Do you feel like you’ve reached the end of your feminist awakening?

No, I’m constantly learning new things thanks to Instagram about our progress and new battles to fight.

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