Good reasons to announce your pregnancy right from the start, without waiting

It has become so part of social habits that we don’t even realize it anymore: the announcement of a pregnancy should be made at the end of the first trimester, i.e. after 13 weeks (or 15 weeks of amenorrhea). But why ? Why should we shut up first? What happens if we announce it from the beginning? Do we turn into a pumpkin? NO. But the reason for this request for imposed silence is significant, since it aims, once again, to force a part of the population to remain silent and not cause a stir. All that remains is for future mothers to complain.

Announcing pregnancy after the 1st trimester: a story of superstition?

Abortions, or rather natural interruptions of pregnancy, affect one in four pregnancies. In France, every year, 200,000 people suffer this ordealbut the topic unfortunately remains terribly taboo.

And sometimes taboo means superstition. Some may think that by waiting until the end of the first trimester, the period in which natural pregnancy losses are most frequent, they will be less likely to lose the embryo. If remaining silent and not informing them of their condition can reassure them and allow them to experience the beginning of their pregnancy peacefully, so much the better. But let’s be clear: Not announcing your pregnancy right from the start will not protect you from a miscarriage. Nothing can, since then Natural termination of pregnancy is a lottery for which the pregnant woman is not responsible.

Announcing your pregnancy after the 1st trimester, why do we remain silent?

But if pregnant women are encouraged to keep the secret of their pregnancy until the end of the 1st trimester, it is also so as not to have to communicate, unconsciously or otherwise, its premature end if it arrives. We can only understand this: the announcement of a pregnancy is, for people happy with this condition, a rather joyful moment. Generally people who receive the news rejoice and congratulate the future parents. They look forward to their future life with a child to be born, the moment is happy.

And if the pregnancy does not continue, we will have to tell the news to all those who ask us how the pregnant woman is, forcing them, every time, to relive the announcement of the loss of what could be her future. child.

Not saying anything until the end of the first trimester can be a way to preserve yourself, to protect yourself. But is hiding your condition really a good thing for you? The first trimester is often extremely difficult for many pregnant women. When they work (and even when this is not the case) having to juggle morning sickness, tiredness, aches and other painful, even disabling symptoms, is a real exercise that can undermine their mental and physical health.

Although pregnant women do not necessarily want to be treated like fragile sugar babies, it is true that if they could announce their pregnancy without taboos from the beginning, measures could be taken to ease these difficult moments, and the compassion of those who knowing could help good for morale.

But who really benefits from this silence?

Announcing your pregnancy before the 1st trimester: shut up, you scare us

Unfortunately, in the case of spontaneous abortion, in the collective imagination, it is a suffering that should be experienced in private. But why ? Why couldn’t the women concerned talk as much about their current pregnancy as about a finished one? It’s common to hear this phrase from pregnant women who wait until 13 weeks to talk about their pregnancy: “ I’ll wait before announcing it, just in case “. Just in case what? What if they needed comfort? Help? Support ? Nowhere does it say that such suffering must be experienced in silence. Silence is the downfall of women. For centuries we have been asked to remain silent, to correspond to an outdated and unrealistic model that patriarchal society expects from us: that of the smiling, loving and strong woman, who suffers in silence, who hides her suffering so as not to reject or frighten her. . But sharing facts that affect one in four women is not criminal, it is necessary.

Freedom of speech should be total

We’ve seen this for several years: the word is free on motherhood. Gone are the days when we were made to believe that parenthood is nothing but immeasurable joy, infinite happiness. Gone are the days when we didn’t talk about the postpartum period and the depressive states that mothers can go through after giving birth. Gone are the unrealistic and clichéd beliefs of motherhood. Some still have difficulty, others persist, but the words are there, testimonies pour in and words are spoken. For what result? Women recognize each other, share, exchange, show solidarity and are stronger.

From a time when future mothers, or already mothers, were alone and alone, we have moved to another where the maternal and feminist brotherhood is created and forms sublime movements and creations. Let’s talk about the streaming platform Hon. Suzane, podcasts Bliss OR Matrescenceof these extraordinary personalities who kick these old obsolete social conventions, like Astrid Hurault de Ligny, Illana Weizman, Eve Simonet, Anna Roy…

When silence is no longer there, voices are raised and taboos are broken. The natural termination of pregnancy, for those who were waiting for the birth of this child, are tragedies. These moments are hard, intense and undermine the mental and physical health of those who experience them. So why stay silent when they arrive? If a certain modesty, the fear of feeling embarrassed by one’s suffering can be one of the reasons that lead women to remain silent, they should no longer have a reason to exist. Let’s talk, let’s exchange, let’s cry together. People who are informed of a pregnancy and are happy about it are perfectly capable of being compassionate in the event of embryo loss. If not, that’s also a good way to do it fix your relationships.

At work, it is always difficult to announce a pregnancy as soon as possible. But it is precisely by democratizing this that companies will stop thinking they have permission and continue to discriminate against future mothers. The more we shout, the more we will be heard and the greater the change will be.

Announce your pregnancy whenever you want, to whoever you want, if you want. Don’t hide your condition if you want to shout it from the rooftops, because social conventions are no longer adequate. Do what you want and screw the injunctions.

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