Do you know the jump? This method of masturbation is as taboo as it is widespread

January 27, 2019

I recently received an email that made me sad.

In this message, a reader told me that he had ashamed of the way she masturbates. She thought she was the only woman using this technique and wondered if it was normal.

So today I decided to defeat injustice by showing you this way of touching yourself that no one EVER talks about.

Masturbate while rubbing

This almost taboo way of masturbating is what I would call “rubbing”.

It is the fact of rubbing, dressed or not, against something to stimulate the outside of the clitoris.

Very often girls discover masturbation in this way, somewhat by chance, against a cushion, a pillow, a cuddly toy, the arm of a sofa…

This was the case with Louane:

“I think I discovered it when I was 8-10, but I didn’t quite understand what I was doing.

Around the age of 13, I took my first college sex education classes and started to understand…

I felt it was pleasant and since I didn’t know anything else at that age, I kept doing it until I perfected myself. »

Growing up, frottage often remains the only technique known and practiced by women who discovered it as children, sometimes long after sexual life began.

So how come, in our society where sex is supposed to be everywhere, a girl comes to wonder if it’s normal when she uses such a common masturbation technique?

Why is rubbing taboo?

If we talk little about frottage it is above all because there is a general taboo around female masturbation as such.

We don’t talk about it with interested parties, and it’s not valued or trivialized like male handjobs, since girls aren’t “supposed” to love sex and seek pleasure.

Friction therefore suffers false or biased depictions of female masturbation (you will tell me that if there weren’t taboos at the base maybe we would be a little more informed and I will answer you: YES).

Misconceptions or preconceived notions are mostly about “fingering,” as Marie puts it:

“In college, I felt like kids were obsessed with this girls fingering each other.

I too had come to think that this is how all girls masturbate and that I was not normal.

I had tried to “see” and the results weren’t really conclusive, compared to rubbing which made me climax really fast and every time.

Even today, I have a feeling that most men think that all girls masturbate by inserting their fingers into their vaginas. Now I know that’s not the case at all! »

This idea that women only use their fingers, externally or internally, to masturbate is widespread.

It is maintained by porn in which representations of female masturbation are largely rooted.

In fact, fingering has the advantage of being much more “visual”. We want to see pussy up close and that’s hardly possible with a woman lying on her stomach rubbing against a pillow!

Added to this are magazines and other media, films and other cultural objects that overrepresent masturbation with the shower head and sex toys…

And the world forgets that it actually exists as many ways of touching each other as there are women.

Is banging a shame?

Louane also brings it up frottage is not seen as “flattering” by women themselves.

A technique considered juvenile, immature, it involves adopting a position and movements that are sometimes far from the sensual representation we have of a woman touching herself.

To put it plainly, the rub makes you look more like a horny Yorkie than a graceful lonely sex goddess. This is exactly what was blocking Marie:

“Before I didn’t dare masturbate like this in front of my partners because I didn’t feel worthy, but it was the only way I knew to touch myself! »

In English, this technique is known as humpAND it is the same word that is used to designate a dog that rubs itself…

“I think people might find that ridiculous because they might think you have lust for what you’re up against. »

Nothing fetishist yet stimulate her clitoris with a pillow or something!

The rubbing action is mainly mechanical. For most women who use it, the support itself is not exciting.

Is it more complicated to have fun as a couple if you’re used to rubbing?

What is certain is that with practice the body develops the ability to enjoy using this or that technique.

If a woman masturbates with just one technique, she will develop orgasmic reflexes specific for this.

Rubbing conditions the orgasm in a certain position (often on the stomach), with a certain pressure and only through the glans of the clitoris.

This can become disabling because the rubbing action is not always easy to reproduce in a report.

It’s possible ” reuse » his years hump during intercourse, for example by rubbing against the partner’s thigh or being penetrated while rubbing, lying on the stomach.

Eloisa she worries that she won’t be able to experience as much pleasure together as alone :

” I have never had an orgasm during penetration with my partners and they never knew/failed to give me one.

The problem is, I would like to guide my boyfriend by telling him to do more of this or that, but I don’t know myself…

I have always masturbated to massage and this makes me unsure how my body works with digital stimulation. »

To broaden your range of possibilities you can tother masturbation techniques, in other positions, with your fingers, with lubricant, by vaginal or anal stimulation…

Taking the time to try other ways of touching yourself allows you to discover other aspects of your body and to do that train yourself to have fun differently, and then transpose your beautiful talents into a two-way relationship.

It is important to remember thiswhen it comes to masturbation, there is no standard.

As in other areas of sexuality, it’s all about preferences, spectrum and variation. I hope this article makes this beautiful diversity a little more visible.

And you, how do you touch yourself? Are there other techniques that I don’t know exist?

Photo credits: Andrea Piacquadio and Ketut Subiyanto (Pexels)

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