What is a good boy?

After that of Pick Me Girl, let’s decipher the concept of good boy.

At first glance, it may mean nothing to you. But have you ever heard a man complain on a regular basis which can not seduce why “Women Prefer Assholes” ? A man who complains, because his kindness keeps him confined “in the friend zone” ?

If these moans are familiar to you, it’s because, in movies, series, social networks or even in your daily lifeyou’ve already crossed paths with a nice guy, also called him “choose me boy”.

For the Nice Guy, affection, love and sex are due to him

A good boy will always come across as too nice… Second a unanimous vote arranged between him and himself.

In his case, the fact of claiming to be mashed potato beautiful is a method of managementderived from profound misogyny of one man who considerswe owe him attention, affection, sex. According to him, courtesy and sympathy are exchange currencies to get love and/or sex.

How to recognize a good boy?

• It is considered as a great romantic : When she has a crush, it’s a lot persistentready to do anything to prove “her love” – ​​even if the person opposite shows her that he is not interested.
• It looks like a Gentleman. The Nice Guy is nostalgic for the good old days, that lost era when gallantry it was enough – according to him, to seduce.
• Finally, by definition, the Nice Guy is a person constantly victimizing themselves. If his squash is not reciprocated, then the only explanation is that the person he fantasizes about prefer them bad boy to the good guys. Necessarily. Not because it’s obsessive, creepingmanipulative, or perhaps because he has the personality of a parched loaf of bread.

The Nice Guy is ubiquitous in pop culture

Ross In FriendsOR, German In how I Met Your Mother they are classics in the genre jealous-stalker.

From the first episode, Ross and Ted are convinced that they have found their soul mate. Women who have the misfortune of being the object of their fantasy may repeat that they do not share this desire, nothing helps: Nice Guys are convinced they are wrong and continue to insist, refusing to understand thata no is a no.

It’s also hard not to mention Alex’s name buffy the vampire slayerwhich continues to complaint to be corny when her best friends have supernatural powers and, above all, to complain that anyway, no woman wants him to always be “the good friend”. In the first seasons, Alex constantly maintains an ambiguity towards Buffy, even if the latter replies with a systematic no to his (multiple) advances and repeats that they are friends.

Fortunately, if the nice guy has often been idealized and held up as a positive role model by pop culture, performance progresses. Thus, we could analyze the whole series You AS a diehard parody of the good guy. Who would believe it Joe is nice ? Over the seasons, we observe the delirium of the character, convinced that his murders are justified by love, which he confuses with a possessivenessa frustration AND unhealthy jealousy.

Nice Guy, Incel: Sexism in Common

If it’s important to name and denounce Nice Guy ideology, it’s because this sexist worldview can sometimes take the form of extreme and dramatic violence, as in the case of incel. This second term refers to single menwhose misogyny, sentimental and sexual frustration leads to a hatred for women.

Incels have built quite a community on the internet, especially on forums, where many vehemently argue that their inability to date women” it makes them victims and oppressed “. Some go as far as take up arms in mass killings against women.

Sure, a nice guy won’t necessarily become an incel… But it’s important not to trivialize sexism underlying these two behaviors.

And you, have you ever crossed paths with a nice guy? How did you know you owed him nothing, however “nice” he might be? Tell us in the comments!

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