Alice, 24: “Not having a boyfriend is going to bed alone like an idiot in your bed”

• Name or nickname :Alice*
• Age : 24 years
• Single since then : 6 months
• Place of life : in Haute-Savoie, in the Arve valley
• Romantic and/or sexual orientation : heterosexual

How long have you been single?

It will be 6 months.

I had my first real relationship in 2014. I was 17 and he was the guy I first dated. We have been together for a year and a half. I was then a year and a half with another boy. Then, again, a year and a half with another (never two without three), with a lapse of time between each relationship of at least 6 months. These three deceived me and one of them was a narcissistic pervert.

In 2020 I spent 4 months with a soldier who cowardly left me on the phone and therefore I never saw again.

As for my last relationship, it lasted for 6 months. It ended because my ex was extremely jealous and I could not bear his growing demand for love. I felt like my mother…

In the meantime I have chained more or less futureless partners and relationships that I have not defined as “serious relationships”.

How would you describe your relationship with being single?

Sometimes it is really heavy… I like to be alone most of the time and I don’t mind doing activities by myself at all! But some moments deserve to be lived together. I am hypersensitive, managing my emotions is quite difficult on a daily basis and having someone in my life helps me a lot sometimes.

I row in my single daily life. I admit, I am coveted by many men in my age group (20-30 years old) and working with breeders is all the more complicated… The concern is that I’m afraid to take the first step and hit a wall, because most of these men are looking for nothing seriously… E One night stands piss me off.

Does being single affect your friendship or family life?

I think so… From my family, I don’t feel any pressure even if it happens to them.laughing and teasing me that I’m still alone at nearly 25 ! With my closest friends we laugh about it and since I’m not the only one, it’s “reassuring”. Professionally, I work with 99% of men and there… I have way more male friends who want to put me in their bed than just being friends.

Does being single impact your daily morale?

Yes 100%. I have been living in Haute-Savoie for two years and since then, I chain relationships without a future, it makes my life rot… But I have this need for attention, desire and encounter that never succeeds in the end.

Chatting with 3 or 10 guys on Instagram is cool, but it’s not good for morale. Plus we end up tangling our brushes!

Do you think being single allows you things you couldn’t do as a couple?

Certain ! I love mopping in the mountains at any time of the day, I like being alone to practice certain sports or cultural activities. I recently adopted a dog and the choice was entirely mine, and she is mine.

Conversely, do you think being single prevents you from doing things you could do if you were in a relationship?

Apart from having children… I don’t know! Especially since now we can have children on our own.

Otherwise, buy a property… This is rather the thing that I cannot do on my own, especially in such a rich and therefore very expensive region.

Does being single in love impact your sex life?

We could also be honest… We are human and we necessarily have desire. Not having a boyfriend is sleeping alone. Desire appears, and therefore we wish to fulfill it.

Are you actively trying to find a romantic relationship?

Finally yes. I want to wonder! I search mainly through social networks, such as Instagram. I also downloaded a dating app, which I mostly use in the evening or when I get a text. I meet very few crushes and chat occasionally… Again, I seek attention without really wanting it.

How would you describe your relationship with meetings?

I’m a very eccentric person, but all the same I always have a knot in my stomach during a meeting : I’ve always gotten along better with boys than with girls, and that’s good, but at the same time it stresses me out, because I know women and the reputation they can build among them.

As for the boys, I often go out with a group of friends but as soon as one of them confesses his feelings to me or just tries for an evening, I get angry, I am afraid of attachment.

Do you feel some pressure to “actively” seek out a romantic partner?

YES, It’s a pressure I put on myself… My mind longs to find someone but instead, my heart is pounding because it’s afraid of being hurt again. Sometimes it stresses me out so much that it triggers eczema. So I try to take responsibility not to harm my health. Luckily, I have the ability to be well surrounded and friendly.

What are your plans for the future?

I would like to travel, discover the world and animals, my passion. Celibacy slows me down and it’s a shamebecause on my own, I know I could do it, but financially it’s not the case yet.

Do you have an anecdote about being single to share?

I think I’m pretty and attractive, so most of the men I work with think I’m in a relationship and are surprised to find out otherwise.

Suddenly, when one of them sees me arguing with a young man my age, the news makes the rounds of the valley, or even another! And that’s how I learned that apparently I was dating a guy from my valley, but also from the neighboring valley. Two guys I’ve never touched and just had a coffee with!

Thanks to Alice* for answering our questions about her celibacy.

*Name has been changed.

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