“Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable”. On round cards distributed at the entrance, a phrase in rose water puts office in the bathroom. In a selected décor tinged with yellow, the guests look at each other discreetly.
Finding love in a pseudo-intimate environment
Each one seems to embody the sample of a defined group, like Noah’s ark: the nerds, the Parisians, the traditionalists… Among them, the recluses of the application and other new members. A total of 120 singles have been invited to this unique evening, Thursday 30 March, the organizer of which is none other than Bumble, famous american dating platform. The choice was made by drawing lots. The appointment is made in an apartment north of Paris. The idea is simple: find love in a pseudo-intimate environment. Bonus pastries and cocktails.
Flanked by a +1 to make a good impressionguests are attended to by staff members, recognizable by their black flocked T-shirt with a yellow logo. As soon as a duo is formed, a host or hostess puts a card into their hand. On this, a catchphrase and a question “icebreaker”. As if two people no longer know how to hold a spontaneous discussion. Gradually, the event takes on the air of a full-sized application. To flirt with strangers, the bar is a strategic place, as the wait is long before getting it “a sentimental elixir”, mix of vodka and red fruits.
A form of tiredness
A normal evening apart from a few details. At 21 the waiters interrupt the cocktails – and the noise of the agitators – so as not to interfere with romantic walks the singer Johnny Jane, present for the occasion. “I know deep down I made the worst choice of abandoning you and leaving without you”, we can hear. It’s tempting to think about your ex, but it’s about pulling yourself together.
Some rush to the roof where they trade a cigarette for slogan ideas. “ I throw a Poké Ball, said a little girl not without pride. All singles have deleted the app at least once. Before putting it back. “Apps are now a common hangout, but there’s also a form of fatigue. The more people appropriate the apps, the more they will realize the inequalities they suffer from. They might feel more frustration, explains Jessica Pidoux, postdoctoral fellow at CEE, Sciences Po Paris and director of Personaldata.io.
According to a study published in July 2022 in The conversation, 88% of respondents have already said they have uninstalled all their dating apps, including 69% due to fatigue, due to their time-consuming nature or after a bad experience. beyond tiredness, a form of disillusionment occurs : “Many are looking for a form of romance, but realize that apps can also be vectors of narcissistic suffering, such as not being called or ghosted,” Eliette Abecassis exhibits, author of From soulmate to Tinder AND A pair (Grasset).
During the evening several men complain that they never correspond to the question. A fringe of users not to be discouraged. Hence the importance of these off-screen evenings that allow dating sites to renew themselves in a fierce market.
“Towards a hybrid model”
“In 2021, there were around 9,000 apps on Apple and the Play Store. When a platform organizes an offline event, it is to ensure the connection and retention of the application’s customers”, analyzes Jessica Pidoux. Especially since the “dating app” model faces competition from other platforms who have made singles nights their business: Célib’rencontres, Hop To Date or traditional speed dating.
Already in 2019, the Inner Circle application organized its first evening for singles in a bar in the capital. “In the 90s, Meetic was already carrying out this type of initiative. Applications are emerging towards a hybrid model where there is a human intermediary (such as marriage agencies) and an algorithmic intermediary that will allow for the selection and refinement of preferences”. remember Jessica Pidoux.
According to the platform that organizes the evening, the desire to connect people was born out of the pandemic “with the desire to dust off the singles evenings that are a little too classic”. In other words, simulate an evening with friends. A way to bring physical interaction back to the heart of the match machine. While breaking the rules: Seducing in a bar or restaurant requires you to fully invest yourself. “We will focus more on one person. In an offline context, there is a practice of choosing a partner, while on the question, it is rather the elimination that takes place”, resumes Jessica Pidoux. For her part, Eliette Abécassis believes it nothing replaces the physical connection, “behind the screen there is a form of lying”.
Towards an “Americanization of Relationships”
We return to the evening. Groups of friends were formed, but few couples on the horizon. Thirty shots at midnight. A boy or two waits in a corner. They will surrender at the last moment. The staff members have forgotten their role as Cupid and are playing pool with more hearts to take…
Race results: easier to approach your soul mate on a dating question, than during a party in the flesh. Eliette Abecassis makes the same observation: “As far as the world before apps is concerned, there is no longer much talk, either on the street or in clichés. There is an Americanization of relationships. It’s easier to give your whole life on a dating site. » Fear of feeling vulnerable?
Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
