Sarah and Matthieu, a 27 thousand euro wedding: “I thought I was dying of stress”

Does a wedding have to be traditional to be successful? Where do we find decorative ideas? How to be original and far from clichés? So what if, on the contrary, we like it to happen like in the movies? Should we invite the whole family? And the restaurateur, how do we choose him? But above all, the big question: how much does it really cost, a wedding or a PACS?

In our new column “D’amour et d’eau fraîche” some readers have played with it and tell us about their big day, including finances.

The wedding of Sarah and Matthew

The couple : Sarah and Matthieu, 26 and 30 years old

Together since…: 2014

Married by: October 8, 2022

Professions: Librarian and method technician

Place of life: Juvisy-sur-Orge (Essonne)

Wedding venue: Juvisy and Chevreuse

Number of guests : 94 present (out of 120 guests)

Total spent on D-Day: €27,000

Before marriage

When and where did you meet?

At the campsite where I worked as camp leader and where Matthieu had been spending his summers with his family for years.

How long ago did you decide to get married?

After 8 years of relationship, although the issue had already been discussed for several years.

Why did you choose this merge mode?

It seemed obvious to us, and having participated in many weddings (about ten in 8 years) we wanted this moment for ourselves too. Furthermore, from a purely administrative point of view, the PACS seemed quite similar to us, so we might as well push the effort to the maximum.

Did you live together before getting married?

Yes, for 4 years.

How did you organize your party? How far in advance?

Nine months in advance. We got engaged on January 2, 2022 and got married on October 8 of the same year. We already had a location and a photographer in mind, two of the most important positions for us. We thought that if these two choices were available, the wedding would be for this year, if not 2023.

Have you both invested so much in the preparations?

No, clearly I was more involved, even though Matt helped me with many things.

Was the preparation stressful?

Yes, in waves, let’s say. Lots of stress in the beginning, given the number of things to plan, then four months before, there was a relaxation, and still lots of stress one month into the wedding until D-Day.

What were the things you really didn’t want at your wedding?

No redneck DJ – and the songs that go with it – no garter belt, no surprise flash-mob…

Which position do you think is the most important to organize? Which was less?

Everything seemed important, we didn’t want to leave anything to chance. The only thing we didn’t really care for was brunch the next day. We let Matthieu’s family run it.

Was there a moment you wanted to take a step back?

No backtracking on commitment, but rather steps. Prepping for church didn’t go so well and I wanted to skip that step and just focus on the secular ceremony.

Have you had to give up things in the organization to fit within your budget?

Little things, we would have liked an audio guest book (with the rental of a terminal), a florist for the decoration of the estate – in the end I did all the floral decoration myself, a professional make-up artist and a wedding dress fall in love with something which was not within the budget. But no regrets today!

How did you finance your union?

€20,000 on bank loan, €4,000 the help of my father and the €3,000 leftovers from our pocket.

Wedding day

Were you stressed on D-Day?

Stressed out is an understatement, I thought I was dying of stress. I could neither eat nor drink anything, in the morning I was in a state of complete lethargy, on the verge of tears every two minutes. It’s clearly not the preparation I imagined…

Did everything go as planned?

Overall yes! The morning was not very smooth which added stress, the church ceremony was not in our image but finally once in the estate and with the secular ceremony everything was perfect.

Do you regret investing so much/not enough in your union?

No regrets, I think we had a wedding totally in our image.

Did you regret the choice of guests? Would you have liked to invite more? Less ?

We simply would have liked to have with us the people who could not be present that day (especially the elderly), otherwise the list was already long enough, but completely thought out.

Can you mention 3 moments that marked you during this day? For what reasons?

• My arrival at the church, trying not to fall as I held my dress, my bouquet and my father’s arm, then the excitement as I made it to the end of the aisle.
• The speeches of our loved ones during the secular ceremony, all touching, we didn’t think they would get so involved!
• Last minute dance rehearsal in the forest because due to a sprain two weeks before the wedding, we couldn’t finish our choreography… Spoiler alert, the first dance didn’t go well.

After the wedding, the debriefing

In which expense item do you regret having put the package? For what ?

The photographer and the videographers: the memories are crazy, everyone is beautiful in the pictures, it’s really important to us!

If you could go back, what would you change?

No church, just a ride in the morning to light a candle for our departed loved ones. The reason why we chose a religious ceremony was precisely this symbolic side of the place, as a connection with past celebrations, and in particular the burial of Matthieu’s mother.

Do you think marriage has strengthened your relationship?

I don’t think so, it’s a strong and extremely symbolic gesture of love, but I don’t see any change in our relationship. It must be said that after 8 years of living in a relationship and 4 years of living together, we have experienced many things that have shown us that we hold the road. Marriage is tangible and official proof that we are there for each other.

Are you still together now?

YES !

What are your big future plans as a couple?

Finish paying for our apartment, grow old with our cats and then adopt others, finally get our passports to travel a little further than we already know and support each other in our personal projects.

Want to share Instagram or other accounts that helped prepare/inspire your party?

There are quite a few! The Instagram married community is very active and super benevolent, if I have to choose I would say: @lisa_noemie, @un_mariage_en_normandie, @lauraseden and the blogger @la_mariee_enjouee!

Today I try to do the same on the Instagram account created for the occasion, and I invite anyone who is in full preparation to join this community, it really helps to see more clearly and defuse the complications we can experience in this period, and above all see weddings real, more inclusive and representative than wedding magazines or fairs.

thanks to Sarah and Matthew for sharing this beautiful moment with us.