Valentine’s Day: how to celebrate it as a couple… with children between your paws?

[Article initialement publié le 14 février 2022]

When this article is published, there will necessarily be one to comment: “We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, it’s commercial, love is every day, there’s no need for a bad occasion”.

I probably thought the same thing before, in another lifewas it good or not? I do not remember anymore. Today I am happy that this commercial party exists and leads to my place the sentimental charge of my couple reminding me with spam and sponsored ads and floral banners that on February 14th we will have to sprinkle romantic glitter on our parental couple.

Yes, but… How to celebrate Valentine’s Day when you have children?

Challenge number 1: Decide on a date

I know, I know, technically Valentine’s Day falls on February 14th, that’s the whole principle of the mess too. Except, what ALSO falls on February 14th? The peak of childhood winter outbreaks, Valentine’s Day of almost everyone who could babysit my kids while I go live great love in some pizzeriababysitter price inflation, my youngest teething and my firstborn’s Covid.

At first I think about it celebrate Valentine’s Day on June 27th. It’s the first free appointment in the overbooked grandparents’ agenda and the gastro epidemic will finally be over (AHAHAH if only).

But let’s face it: some people I won’t name are bound to have a gigantic allergic reaction and/or swallow a Playmobil wig exactly three minutes before their parents leave the house. So I think I stay traditional and book Mon 14 February Tue 2039. By then, my youngest will be 18 and the Covid thing may be over.

Challenge number 2: organize something

In respect of my anti-consumerist values, but also of our bank account, we decide to do it celebrate valentine’s day at home around a good dinner that we will share, eye to eye. Sorry to three, since my daughter who had to sleep for an hour arrives in the living room and recommends our oysters with ginger greedily. What is that ? Can I taste? This question is purely rhetorical, and the kid has already stuffed seafood into his beak. Before I spit it on the table screamin’ BBBEEEEEEERRRRRKKKKK “.

Of course, his skunk cries indignantly at the dirty brew we have forced swallow (his story arc is slightly different from ours) wake up his brother. The good news is that he happily feasts on the pre-chewed morsel left at the corner of the table and cackles with glee, looking wide awake like someone ready to party all day, into the night.

If you’re still wondering who are the pigeons flocking to overpriced restaurants, you have the answer: they are parents who have run away. Please let us know.

Challenge number 3: find the right gift

Buying a gift before was already a hassle, but then since Covid and Jeff Bezos is traveling on a rocket when we all die from global warming, it’s even more complicated. Not only that my children never go to kindergarten or school again, which is somewhat limiting the time I could devote to unbridled shopping, but I am also convinced that if I order online, the polar bears will die because of me.

Improv queen, I still go to the supermarket across the street buy heart-shaped candies and a note. I repeat the operation twice. The first time my daughter didn’t realize her candy wasn’t for her and she chewed it. The second time is because my son ate the paper.

Those who organize Valentine’s Day should rethink their visual identity, for example by replacing red with green and hearts with broccoli. It would dissuade my kids from systematically licking what I grabbed in extremis to please the father. Who doesn’t eat candy. But I do, so it won’t be lost.

Challenge number 4: create romance

I cannot say that romance is the word that best characterizes our couple. For example, the first thing I said to my husband this morning was about a strong signature smell emanating from our son’s diaper.

Valentine’s Day gives me the unexpected opportunity to make an effort. For example, I’ll start by swapping my pajamas for jeans and a t-shirt. I also wanted to do makeup, but was interrupted by an attempted murder involving a one-year-old boy beating his sister with a Barbie.

My husband shows up, he’s dressed up and managed to shave off a good half of his mustache. i am conquered. Naughty, I approach and whisper in her ear “I don’t wear panties, you know…” He already knows. The delay in our washing machines and the fact that I hang around in my pajamas most of the time make the absence of underwear extremely common in my house.

Nice crowd, he chuckles all the same, pretending not to know we’re going to collapse at the second glass of wine and snore home without going through the stiff cuddle box. And all the better since then why force yourself into planned sex when you can sleep instead ?

The celebration of our love is certainly less spontaneous or romantic since we are parents. But when I see that despite the efforts, the children, life, the desire to be together is still there, I tell myself that romance is this: continue to enjoy jogging in front of mountains of dirty laundry.

And she ? How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

In-depth image: © Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio