Why do some women never have an orgasm in their lifetime? dealing with a sexologist

In the past few years, the female orgasm, and sex education in general, has been the focus of many courses, blogs, and nonfiction literature. But their number is unfortunately not proportional to the number of girls experiencing sexual satisfaction – according to statistics, women orgasm half as often as men. Experts find various explanations for this – features of physiology, attitudes of children, fear of self-expression. Understanding what is stopping you is the first and main step towards a satisfying sex life. Therefore, a sexologist and psychotherapist will tell in more detail about each of the problems and how to solve them. Anastasia Filippova.

Anastasia Filippova

physiological characteristics

Male and female orgasms differ not only in sensations, but also in physiology. On the head of the penis there are about four thousand nerve endings responsible for sexual pleasure. During intimacy, they are sufficiently stimulated. In women, orgasm from penetration depends on the location of the legs of the clitoris: it is concentrated on about eight thousand nerve endings. The more stimulation I have in this area, the higher the pleasure.

An important role in this is played by the muscles of the perineum and the lower third of the vagina, which form the orgasm cuff. The better these muscles are developed, the faster and more often the woman gets pleasure during sexual intercourse.

Understanding your body and sensitive areas

Some women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, while others need extended foreplay. When a girl doesn’t get pleasure, she mentally blames her partner for it, but the problem may not be just with the guy. Often a woman does not know about her sensitive areas and therefore cannot tell a man what gives her pleasure.

There is only one way out – to explore your body and your erogenous zones. When you better understand your own sexual desires and needs, you can explain them to your partner, thereby improving your intimate life together.

Sex should be thoroughly enjoyable

Relationship with a partner and the context in which sexual intercourse takes place are much more important to a woman than to a man. If a girl does not trust a man, is dissatisfied with her appearance, smell, cannot talk openly with him, then most likely she will not be able to completely relax and enjoy the process.

Even a banal promise that a man did not fulfill to meet her at work can spoil a woman’s mood. In some cases, a romantic setting will help restore desire – scented candles, soft lights, music. Such an atmosphere will put you and your partner in the right mood.

baby installations

Many girls have been taught from childhood that sex is bad and worthless. Such psychological attitudes in adulthood inhibit the relaxation of the body and the emergence of sexual desires.

In this case, it is necessary to work with false beliefs with the help of a psychologist. If this is not possible, you should independently analyze your complexes and child fears and bring them to the plane of awareness. This will make it easier to work with them and replace them with positive attitudes.

fear of self-expression

Some women are prevented from enjoying themselves for fear of losing control of the situation, so they are afraid to fully express their feelings. And orgasm is something uncontrollable.

Sometimes banal complexes become a hindrance – worries about appearance, “ugly” posture or other extra thoughts in my head. If the fear of expressing yourself in bed does not go away, sign up for a couple dance (salsa or tango) with a man. Gradually you will learn to trust both your body and your partner, and you will transfer this pattern into the intimate space.