Need to leave your seat on the plane? Is it okay to tell someone else’s children that they are bothering you? Psychologist JO HEMMINGS reveals dos and don’ts for the Christmas holidays

It’s the most beautiful time of the year – unless you’re on a crowded plane or train with screaming kids kicking your seat, or you’re crammed into a car and facing long hours of driving in the rain.

Yes, the “Christmas break” part of Christmas is usually not that great. But help is at hand. Here, behavioral psychologist Joe Hemmings reveal their festive travel dos and don’ts, from whether you should recline your seat on a plane to tips on how to keep your kids from misbehaving on long journeys.

Packing can also be stressful. Is there a way to keep the peace during the process?

Jo told MailOnline Travel: “We need a bit of mental space to pack effectively – whether it’s small bags for on-the-go or one big bag for everything else – it’s best to list both to make.” to write what you need and then still go from room to room thinking what you might need.

And don’t forget the gifts! And no distractions, so do it when your partner is out or the kids are asleep.

“Involve the children in what they want to take with them and compare it with their siblings for ideas – if they can put it in their briefcase or backpack, they can take it with them. When they are involved in the preparation, they are much less likely to complain that their “favorite toy” is missing.”

Christmas can be a golden time for arguments – is there a way to use the trip to nip the sound/acceleration issues in the bud?

Jo said: “The seeming inevitability of a journey full of arguments, arguments and general irritation is best planned for. Will the children be hungry? To confirm. Will they be thirsty? To confirm. Will your partner complain about delays? To confirm. Does the family need alternative entertainment to “I Spy”? To confirm. Imagine and prepare for the worst-case scenario.

“Pack enough drinks, food, books and toys. Be imaginative with some games – singing games when in a car, a deck of cards when on a train/plane. Or some cheap toys or games that are somehow related to your mode of transportation. It’s also an opportunity to forget all the ‘rules’ of spending time on mobile devices – download some movies and apps to your device and let the kids play to their heart’s content.’

So screens are really okay for the kids?

Rules for using children’s mobile devices can be forgotten when you travel, says Jo, who recommends in-ear headphones

When children misbehave on public transport – ‘try not to get too angry and offer a candy to distract’

Jo added: “Screens have become such a big part of our lives and invaluable when we travel. Make sure your kids have a pair of over-the-head headphones – in-ears get lost in corridors/car boxes – and a portable charger on hand. If you run out of juice, you’re bound to be in trouble!’

You deserve a chance to relax – but should you rest your seat on an airplane?

Jo said: “Some people are really against it, but these shutter buttons are there for a reason. Maybe ask the person behind you if it’s OK – if you ask, smiling will encourage them to say yes even if they’re not not enthusiastically, but respect their opinion if not.

“Bring a blanket and an inflatable pillow and a pair of slippers. It’s much easier to sit comfortably on a long flight, whether you’re lying down or not. Consider bringing pajamas and a toiletry bag – you can buy sealed business versions of these on auction sites or make your own. You may not be traveling first class, but there is nothing stopping you from having a similar experience in economy class.”

What is the strategy for dealing with a child who kicks their chair?

Jo said: “If your child kicks the backrest – or someone else’s – do your best, I know it’s hard… not to get too upset. Offer your own child a treat or treat as a distraction – make it clear that this is not a reward for bad behavior, while explaining that it can scare the person in front of him or her and make him or her nauseous .

“With permission, offer something similar to the child walking into the other family. This can escalate parental arguments, which is a constant problem with bored, restless children.”

Any other tips for keeping kids engaged?

Give children a prize for being well behaved on a trip, said Jo

Jo said: “Before you go, explain that the journey will be quite long and that they can take whatever fits in their own rucksack to play.

“Also give them an inflatable pillow to make them feel comfortable when they want to sleep.” Tell them that if they can carry during the trip, there is a special prize for everyone. When other children are playing, do not interfere.

Sometimes just an empathetic word along the lines of “It’s never easy with kids on planes/trains, is it?” be enough to encourage these parents to try to stop their own children’s behavior.

Is it more acceptable to be drunk on public transport because it’s Christmas?

Jo said: “Not really, it’s quite anti-social and disruptive on public transport, but we’ve all been on a train when our children have said in a loud voice: ‘Is that person drunk Mum/Dad?’ “. Children are always curious about the childish behavior of adults who have had one too many. Don’t try to make that embarrassment you!’

Are there modes of transport that you think cause less stress?

Jo said: “Pack plenty of drinks, food, books and toys. Be imaginative with some games you can play – singing games when you’re in a car, a deck of cards when you’re on a train/plane.

Jo said: “They all have their pros and cons. They all deal with situations beyond our control, be it delays on the road, on the line or in the air.

“When you have options, given your family dynamics, the length/time of your trip, the weather conditions and of course the current strikes which are sure to have an impact, it’s worth thinking seriously about planning the most stress-free version of the journey, given your mode of transport you use.’