You’re in the womb,” says the woolly-hatted manager from The Dreaming, leading me to a room with a pink, cozy 70s vibe. I could have been in The Mush-Room, The Mystic, The Wanderer or The Moon. In the bathroom I find the “vagina shower” – pink Moroccan waterproof plaster, open and inviting.
Later, 37-year-old Welsh songbird Charlotte Church, who has just started her retreat at The Dreaming, says they had no intention of creating an official vaginal douche. The appearance only suggested the name.
Along with seven other women and one man, most in their early forties, I am here in the remote green depths of mid-Wales, without Wi-Fi or phone signal, for a long weekend to experience Charlotte’s vision of healing.
The motives are different: a guest from London wants to get away from her family for what she calls “me time”, another hates spas and is looking for a new way to relax; A third saw Charlotte Church’s Big Build on Discovery+ and wants to see the results for themselves.
To be honest, I’m skeptical of anything “magical” or “spiritual” – but I’m relieved to see that the only magazine available is the New Scientist.
Go wild: Welsh songbird Charlotte Church has just opened her retreat at The Dreaming in the secluded green depths of Mid Wales
Josa Keyes attends the church retreat with seven other women and one man. You are here ‘to experience Charlotte’s vision of healing’
Charlotte tells us we came across what estate agents called ‘Laura Ashley’s Welsh mansion’ while trying to buy a plot of land for glamping. Overwhelmed by the 33 hectares of mossy rocks, temperate rainforest and babbling streams, she decided to open a year-round retreat.
“It’s about connection with nature,” she says. “In our busy lives we don’t have time. People are so distracted by everything. Our nervous system is burning out.”
A plaque in the dining hall where we eat lists “offerings” from nature artwork and heavenly blessings to healing dance, but this is a self-guided retreat. You decide what to do. I recommend trying everything – and there is also time for forest walks. You don’t have to call it “forest bathing” if you’re not.
On the first night, general manager Lukus Robbins takes us into the woods, where a fire burns in what Charlotte called the “Court of the Holly King,” next to the “gateway to the underworld.”
So goofy so far – but there’s nothing forced about it. Lukus leads us through a short meditation and I begin to relax.
The next day, Charlotte leads our Morning Gathering and we split into pairs for Listening Partnerships – a five-minute exercise in which we ask the other person how they’re doing and actually wait for an honest answer, unlike in real life, where we just say , ‘I’m fine’.
Above is one of the retreat’s rooms, housed in what realtors have dubbed “Laura Ashley’s Welsh mansion,” reveals Josa
“It’s about connecting with nature,” says Church about the retreat
Josa describes the meals at the retreat as follows: “Every meal is a ‘feast’ and the vegan food is prepared by Pete, the handsome chef.”
The “vagina shower” is shown on the left. Josa says it was not Kerk’s intention to create an official douche, but “the look just hinted at the name.” To the right, guests will enjoy an outdoor pool
This warms us up for further exchange and creates an atmosphere of trust and cooperation.
For example, our lone man takes on the role of a (wild) lifeguard, complete with hat, standing waist-deep in the cool forest pond and handing our wives the slippery rocks. I surprise myself by enjoying the tingle of the water.
Every meal is a “feast” and the vegan food is prepared by Pete, the handsome chef, who comes to tell us what we eat pink from his stove.
My favorite offering is the audio journey. We settle into the Healing Room, where festival favorites Tim Wheater and Cherub Sanson have set up their instruments.
The gong in particular is a pleasant, hair-raising physical sensation. Tim plays the shuti box, an Indian instrument that produces a rich drone; and Charlotte sings wordlessly – her incomparable voice weaves like smoke around every note.
Josa says the experience is “crazy,” but notes that “there was nothing forced.”
A waterfall is pictured on the property to the left. Josa says that during her first visit, Church was “overwhelmed by the 33 hectares of moss-covered rocks, temperate rainforest and rushing streams”. On the right, a fire burns in what Charlotte called the “Courtyard of the Holly King.”
Guests can choose from a list of “offers” including natural crafts and heavenly blessings. Above is the “gateway to the underworld” of the retreat
On the left are stargazing chairs for guests, while on the right are breathtaking views of the Nant Caethon valley.
Josha in the Bospond. “I surprise myself by enjoying the tingling of the water,” she writes
The singing continues at six o’clock on Sunday morning as Charlotte wanders the corridors like a human alarm clock.
When morning comes, she hands us silent disco headphones and I tune into the green dance floor bangers channel, just like her. We follow her onto the lawn, with wonderful views south through the Nant Caethon valley, and dance like nobody’s watching – it doesn’t take long for all inhibitions to melt away.
Monday morning we meet for the Closing Circle. The most unexpected of us weep with emotional relief as we discuss what the retreat has meant to us.
We are invited to write lines for a collective poem as a gift to the next group and reflect on the experience: “Dream helped my real self feel brave enough to break out” is a line. Others speak of “shared moments, a circle of hearts” and “brightness, calm, space, nature, unity, emotion, beauty, calm and serenity”.
It’s a list and here’s the surprising part. I agree with almost every word.
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James is an author and travel journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a love for exploring new cultures and discovering unique destinations, James brings his readers on a journey with him through his articles.
