I was deceived by my own mother: true stories of fraud victims

“Tinder Scam” wasn’t the first dating app scam, but it was the first to get the world talked about, thanks to a Netflix documentary. And the other day, social networks stirred up another story – about Svetlana Bogacheva, who for years invented diagnostics for herself and treated her relatives from her own doctors as if they were different people. A story worthy of a scammer from Tinder happened to comedian Tatyana Schukina: she said on Twitter that she borrowed money from a friend for three years, lived with her, saved her from attacks that Svetlana Bogacheva instigated in herself, helped her cure. She communicated with her fictitious cancer, even her psychotherapist and her daughter, as well as an acquaintance of a grumpy friend from the so-called police. In fact, these people did not exist – Svetlana Bogacheva herself did all the correspondence. Similarly, he deceived people in at least three Russian regions and even invented his own death when he once again escaped from debt, according to the hero himself, in this way he tried to attract attention and arouse pity. “I borrowed money from a lot of people. “Lying has become so natural for me that when answering a question, an inaccurate concept automatically comes to mind.” composing what he calls uncontrolled addiction. An old friend owes Tatyana Shchukina and her boyfriend about two million rubles – she plans to repay them when she gets a job, and also says that she will seek psychiatric help. But until now this is more and more reminiscent of the words of the notorious Simon Leviev, “chased by the enemies.”

Alena Prikhodko, PhD, Associate Professor of Psychology at Florida International University, believes that the latter suffers from antisocial personality disorder – manifested in the absence of moral standards and violation of generally accepted conventions.

Such people know very well what points to step on and what strings to pull to get what they want, they use emotional triggers and important life values.

Svetlana Bogacheva behaved the same way when she spoke hysterically about subsequent problems and asked for money.

In fact, there are many such stories as “The Tinder Scam” or Svetlana Bogacheva – the victims of scammers are not only those who swipe right in search of love, but also those who are ready to come without hesitation. the help of old acquaintances or friends. Dealing with the latter, as a rule, is the most difficult thing, because the person you know personally turns out to be a scammer. These and other stories are told directly by their participants.

Attention: Heroes’ names have been changed at their request!

Anna

At a classmates meeting—about 10 years after graduation—I started talking to a guy in our class. Nothing special, just friendly correspondence, sometimes coffee – this took about six months. I knew a little about him, but there was a subconscious trust in the person – after all, we worked together for many years, what prey could be here … Misha (name changed. – Note. ed.) said he worked in real estate, closed some big deals, took round sums, and it was hard not to believe it: he drove a so-called first-class taxi, which periodically called me to expensive restaurants for my birthday. I am an iPhone. In general, we got along well, but there was no courtship: she talked about her daughters, I shared with her the details of my personal life. One moment, a girl he met on a dating app and started to fill out that he owed a lot and was scaring him with strange requests came up to me and asked me to sort it out, but I decided. It was some kind of bullshit and ignored it.

About two weeks after that, at the next meeting, he suddenly asked how my parents were – he knew them from school. I said that my grandmother died a few years ago and that my mother and stepfather were generally okay. Then something incomprehensible began: he began to discover what happened to his apartment after the death of my grandmother, he offered his services at the sale. This seemed like a good idea to me – I didn’t rent the flat because of its condition, so it was idle unnecessarily. And I accepted. It was hard to imagine that this person could deceive me, so I did everything he wanted: I signed without even looking at the documents, agreed to supposedly more profitable plans, even met potential buyers, who later turned out to be their acquaintances. In the end, problems began: he disappeared from communication, leaving questions about the sale of the apartment until he finally disappeared. I know I am the culprit, but this has greatly shaken my confidence even in my own circle.

I constantly think: why not rewrite the circle for you?

Even lending money to someone is now an impossible task for me.

Sofia

It was with my ex-boyfriend – we met through mutual friends. I knew he had some problems in the past due to bad habits but everyone convinced me that it was too far behind and impossible to tell from him. But no one warned me that he had problems with his head. When we first started dating, he was always talking about doing charity work – helping animals, going to shelters and stuff. To be honest, I’m off topic and somehow I didn’t like it. Engaged and engaged – it’s his business. One day in the middle of the night he called me almost hysterically, said he had hit a dog, he had problems, the dog had problems, he asked if I could borrow him for the vet? I said I have no money. The next day, when I took a shower, he took my phone and withdrew money from all banks. And filled out a loan application on my behalf in a mobile application. To say I’m in %&!# is to say almost nothing. It’s good that there wasn’t much on the maps back then. “Dear” withdrew before I even got out of the shower. I no longer talk to the friends who brought us together.

Maria

I dated a guy for a long time, he even proposed to me. We had a common budget, there were never any problems financially: either he or I paid for dinner, shared the money to rent an apartment. There were no strange requests or “bells” for several years of relationships. Apparently, because almost all this time he took advantage of my father. We have a frankly bad relationship with him, we almost did not communicate since school days, we broke up badly – he was on my black list in any communication channel. Oleg (name changed. – Note. ed.) of course he knew. It turned out that he just found his contacts, contacted her and said that her daughter was very sick, she asked for help. She wrote, they say, I can’t talk to her on my own, but she’s my last hope. I even tossed him some documents, quotes from the hospital – I don’t know where he got them from, it didn’t seem very convincing to be honest. But my father was happy with everything and regularly gave all his savings and money to my boyfriend – around 100 thousand a month, sometimes more. Over the course of a few years, something like a few million has dripped.

In preparation for the wedding, the truth came out when I decided to really make up with my father and invite him to celebrate.

He was very surprised that I was alive and well.

We sued for fraud, we won the case, but the bailiffs have already gotten nothing from my ex-fiancee. However, they said that this is not the first similar lawsuit filed against him. Since then, my father has health problems and I am also receiving treatment.

Olga

I was raised by my own mother. We don’t have the warmest relationship: he liked to gamble, which used to drive me mad, we cursed often. After growing up and moving, my relationship was “hello” and “goodbye”. Then he wrote that he was seriously ill and didn’t want to leave without apologizing to me for how things had turned out for us. I am an emotional person, it touched me, I decided that it was time to improve relationships.

When he started asking for money, he threw it out without thinking – for his mother’s treatment.

Initial doubts arose when he wouldn’t let me in – I offered to come, help out at home or stay with him in the hospital, but he constantly came up with various reasons why this was impossible. Either they don’t let me into the ward or they don’t want me to see him in bad shape. At some point I got fed up with this and came unannounced to the clinic where he was allegedly treated. And I learned that they do not have such a patient. It was not difficult to dig further: my mother started playing again, got into debt and could not pay herself, but did not want to tell everything as it was. In total, I gave him about 1.5 million rubles. I did not sue, but cut off all communication – I was tired of such relatives.

The damage from phone fraud alone in Russia last year was estimated at 45 billion rubles, but, as practice shows, without answering calls from unknown numbers, you can become a victim of fraud. Veronika Krapukhina, head of the psychological service department of the moral and psychological support department of the Central Administrative District Internal Affairs Directorate, says that by her behavior you can identify a living swindler: as a rule, these are closed people, often smart, prone to theatricalization. And even if you’ve known them your whole life, that doesn’t always (read: never) guarantee that you’re safe. How do you protect yourself? Do not be lazy and do not hesitate to learn the details, ask for evidence, check the information yourself. This shouldn’t be a problem if we’re talking about really serious situations and large amounts. And if “baby, enemies are looking for me, we can’t see each other, but I need money” – it’s time to take off the rose-tinted glasses.