EXCLUSIVE: Tattoo model Toni Becker spoke exclusively about her battle against alcohol and drug addiction; she is now celebrating 10 years of sobriety and healing.
As they say, you never know what another person is going through or has been through.
And that’s certainly the case with Toni Becker, a tattoo model and content creator from South Africa.
Though the dark-haired girl exudes confidence in front of the camera, the 36-year-old has faced her fair share of demons that she fought behind the scenes.
Toni is celebrating 10 years of sobriety from drugs and alcohol this year after trauma and mental health have plagued her since her youth.
READ NEXT: Addicts who were “thin, dirty and on the verge of death” transform after abstention
Now free from chains of meth and other substances, the alternative model has started sharing her story online and has amassed a whopping 107,000 followers on TikTok.
Deep in her recovery, Toni has now spoken solely of hitting rock bottom and changing her life so she can have a future worth living.
Toni explained: “I had my first drink when I was 12 and at 15 I was taking diet pills with high amounts of ephedrine.
“At the age of 22 I had gone through my first rehab for alcohol abuse and anorexia, and when I came out of rehab I tried methamphetamine and a drug known as CAT (methcatinone, a stimulant drug similar to methamphetamine and readily available in South Africa ).”
Toni’s alcoholism turned into a vicious methamphetamine addiction after the death of her best friend and cousin Teri.
She said, “I had a constant in my life and it was my cousin, Teri. Teri and I were the same age and best friends; I considered her my sister.
“After going through my first rehab for alcohol abuse, Teri contracted meningitis and died.
“And that’s where the drugs started.
“Instead of worrying about my family having lost a daughter, I made Teri’s death my topic and used it along with my past trauma as an excuse to fall into addiction.
“The ‘poor me, poor me, pour me a drink’ mentality has become my life.”
“I met a guy, I knew he was addicted and I chose to immerse myself in this lifestyle because I WANTED chaos.
“I wanted to kill myself at all costs,” Toni confessed candidly.
In her downward spiral, Toni began to lose who she was as a person and began to mistreat those around her.
He said: “During my active addiction I have stolen, lied, abused, used and hurt everyone around me.
“I’ve done terrible things to myself and, above all, to other employees. My low point was having a physical fight with my mom, where I ended up cutting off her leg with a drink and stepping on her to get out of the house so I could go to my dealer.
“Everything else I’ve done, stealing and living in my car in a parking lot, doesn’t compare to that night and the horror and trauma I inflicted on my family.
But I always thought I was the victim [in active addiction]. “
However, it wasn’t until her third stint in rehab that Toni began to see a different view of her life.
He shared: “Until the day everything changed. Reluctantly, I was sent to my third rehab, but one thing was different: all counselors were recovering from addicts.
“I couldn’t handle them, they knew all the tricks. After telling one sad story after another in hopes of getting the sympathy of my advisor, he turned to me and said, ‘So, how does it feel to fail. compared to the memory of your deceased cousin? Well, expressionless face.
“And that’s when things changed and for the first time I allowed myself to face reality and be honest.”
From that day things started to change for the tattoo model, however, she hadn’t quite got out of the darkness of addiction when her anorexia started to manifest.
But it was an uphill battle that Toni was willing to fight.
Get all your lifestyle news straight to your inbox. Sign up for the free Hot Topics newsletter
The next watershed moment for the South African model was coming to terms with her father’s poor health after she was diagnosed with stage four cancer.
At the time, Toni was suffering from severe anorexia and her father feared for his life as he fought for his.
Toni said: “I looked at my father the same way he looked at me.
“I knew I was going to die, it was just a matter of time. And he knew he was going to die, it was only a matter of time.
“I decided to change my life that day. Fighting my illness so that in his final months my father could see that I would be fine. who would survive
“He couldn’t see the complete transformation, but I have a feeling he can see it.”
Determined to get better for her late father, Toni has continued to fight for better health and is now living proof that mental health and addiction can be fought and defeated.
Toni explained: “There is no single path to healing, but I believe that by talking to other people who have experienced it, you can get the extra boost you need to try and heal.
“I would also say that healing is not easy and whoever says it is is lying.”
“Recovery is initially difficult, frustrating and laborious, but with a community behind it it gets easier and as the days go by you keep doing what it takes.
“Take it one day at a time and trust the process, it gets better and worth it.
“Recovery becomes a way of life, and it’s beautiful.”
Toni’s TikTok can be found here.
If you are concerned about your health or that of someone else, you can contact the SEED Eating Disorders Helpline at 01482 718130 or on their website, https://seeeatingdisorders.org.uk.
For support and addiction information you can visit the NHS website here.
READ NEXT:
-
Addicted to methamphetamine at 13, is unrecognizable after abstention and can walk again
-
A former alcoholic becomes a sober bartender and changes his life after “flirting” with death
-
Dad got over drug addiction after starting taking it when he was 12; he now helps others
Source: Dailystar
Elizabeth Cabrera is an author and journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a talent for staying up-to-date on the latest news and trends, Elizabeth is dedicated to delivering informative and engaging articles that keep readers informed on the latest developments.
