Emotional Contagion: How Others’ Moods Rule Our Lives.

Scandal, tragedy, dramatic developments; We cannot separate ourselves from there. A news feed, a TV series, an ancient Roman arena with gladiators or an ancient theater – other people’s emotions attract us like a magnet. Humanity clicks on the “Immorality of the Year” headlines with the same excitement as it used to go to watch executions.

“Bread and Circuses: Why Are We Attracted by the Pain of Others?” at the Jewish Museum on November 13 during Tolerance Week, where psychologists, directors, and writers discuss this mystery. A taboo conversation took place. Why do other people’s pain and drama excite and drive? Why do ancient Greek tragedies still resonate with us today? Why do we laugh at others’ failures and challenges, on screen and in conversations? So how do emotions, real or staged, control us?

Especially for The Fashion Vibes, the experts of the meeting, writer Konstantin Obraztsov (also the author of the biting Telegram channel “Obraztsov” and the creator of the “Sample Reading” program on VKontakte) and psychologist Anna Makarchuk tell readers about this phenomenon emotional contagion, its psychological mechanisms and the entire history of human nature.

What is emotional contagion?

Emotions have an incredible ability to spread from one person to another, just like waves in water. This phenomenon is called emotional contagion. The mechanism is simple: observing someone else’s emotions, a person involuntarily adopts them. When someone smiles, it warms your heart. If someone is crying, you feel a heaviness on your chest.

This is not mysticism, but the work of the brain, or rather the mirror neurons, which literally copy the emotions we see and help us experience them.

Emotional contagion is not a coincidence, it is an evolutionary necessity. It helps us understand others, be part of a group and survive in society. For this reason, scenes of pain or joy in the theater or on the pages of novels evoke almost the same emotions in us as if we were experiencing them ourselves.

Why do we try to watch others suffer?

The emotions of others attract us like fire: they cause horror and at the same time do not allow us to look away. But why? Hidden within this paradox is a complex psychology that combines evolutionary mechanisms, cultural traditions, and our deepest emotional needs.

Evolutionary legacy: This is how we learn from the mistakes of others

If a person saw a fellow tribesman injured or killed, this became a lesson: do not approach a predatory animal, do not eat an unfamiliar plant. While this way of learning by observing the mistakes of others has saved lives, it has also developed in us an innate attention to drama. Although the world has long changed and become much safer, our brain still responds to the suffering of others as a source of information that can be useful for survival.

Catharsis: Freedom from someone else’s pain

Tragedy seen from a safe distance helps viewers experience fear and compassion, freeing them from repressed emotions. When we see a character suffer a loss on stage or in a movie, we experience their pain as if it were our own, but in a safe environment. This allows us to experience emotions that can be very painful in real life. Will you not break up with your loved one every time just to feel how much you miss him? However, in the series this is quite possible.

Thus, by watching Hamlet’s collapse or Anna Karenina’s drift, we empathize, we become angry, we do not understand, we purify ourselves and even strengthen our own emotional apparatus and we can walk with Oedipus on the terrible path of realizing the truth. We discover something new in ourselves.

The pain of others is a mirror of one’s own fears

Sometimes the pain of others reminds us that we are not alone in our difficulties. Seeing someone else experience loss, separation, or failure helps us feel that our problems are not unique and therefore can be overcome. This effect is especially noticeable on social media, where people share their personal stories and receive thousands of comments such as “I felt the same way.” An example is popular blogs about dealing with illnesses or emotional crises that become sources of support and inspiration for viewers.

Fun and adrenaline: tragedy as spectacle

Everything isn’t always perfect. Sometimes it’s just fun to see others suffer. Ancient Romans attended gladiator fights to see the bloodshed, and modern audiences watch talk shows or scandal-filled reality shows. Someone else’s pain causes a surge of adrenaline, excitement, and even a feeling of superiority: “It’s good that this didn’t happen to me.” This type of entertainment may seem unethical, but it has a long history in culture, from ancient tragedies to newspaper headlines like “Scoop!” “A famous actor passed away.”

Desire to understand the world through the suffering of others

Finally, observing the emotions of others is an attempt to understand human nature. Why do people make mistakes? How do they cope with pain? What motivates them in times of crisis? Are they looking for God or themselves? Where is the limit of humanity? These questions inspired Dante, Cervantes, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Leskov and many others. And they draw us into their texts: We don’t just look at pain, we examine it to better understand ourselves and the world around us.

This kind of curiosity is not always comfortable, but it is very human. We watch the tragedies of others because it gives us emotions, lessons, and insight into the essence of the human soul. Whether it is a Greek tragedy, sad news or the drama of a blogger on a social network, other people’s troubles remain the mirror in which we look for ourselves.

Not just tragedy: Why do we laugh at pain in comedies?

The duo of funny and scary originates from the carnival culture of the Middle Ages and the Renaissance.

A real carnival is always about destruction, which is why its leading element is laughter, culture’s most destructive force.

But laughter is also a powerful protection tool. Funny cannot be scary, so to mock is not only to humiliate and devalue, but also to deal with fear through mockery. In carnival culture, the funny and the scary are closely connected: hence the funny monsters and funny devils, funny circus freaks, funny stupid kings, even political jokes of modern times – people use laughter to cope with the fear of the other world, illness. and ugliness, the bloodthirstiness of power, state violence and arbitrariness.

By the way, this is where all the scary clowns of modern popular culture come from.

The culture of carnival laughter simultaneously destroys and protects against fears, the most important of which for any person is the fear of death.

The funny falls and comical fights that result in serious injury and death in real life and that we often encounter in modern comedies come from the folk carnival, with its mock funerals and clown fights.

When Emotional Contagion Becomes Toxic

When we pick up negative emotions too easily from others, it poisons our relationships and mental health. Anxiety, irritation or fatigue transmitted from others accumulate and you “burn out” like a light bulb.

Smile or anger? What flies faster?

Unfortunately, negative emotions tend to spread faster and stronger than positive ones. This is because of evolution: Our brains are programmed to detect threats so we can respond to them faster. For example, when one person in a group begins to feel nervous, this can affect the entire group, even if there is no real reason for panic. In work environments, this manifests as the “toxic coworker effect,” where one employee’s negative attitude reduces the productivity and motivation of the entire team.

compassion fatigue

Toxic emotional contagion is especially acute among people whose work involves helping others: doctors, psychologists, social workers. Constantly empathizing with the pain and suffering of others can lead to what is called “compassion fatigue.” This is a condition in which a person experiences emotional exhaustion and becomes careless not only of others but also of himself.

My pet emotional vampires

Toxic contamination is also possible in personal relationships. Constant complaining or aggression from someone close to you creates a toxic swamp that is difficult for both children and spouses to escape. Figuratively called “emotional vampires,” such people not only convey their negative emotions but also inhibit your ability to heal.

Symptoms of toxic infection may not be noticeable at first glance, but their effects are noticeable: chronic fatigue, irritability, decreased self-confidence. You may feel emotionally drained after interacting with certain people or even after reading the news.

Take care of yourself, even if someone close to you complains. The ability to empathize should not translate into the ability to endlessly absorb other people’s negativity. Only by striking a balance between empathy and self-preservation can you preserve your resources and maintain healthy relationships without compromising your health.