What is bridging and arousal? Dealing with the consequences of male manipulation

“You see, I am a free man; there are friends and bottles around. It is immediately clear who I am. It is one thing to pick up a man from the library. People are abandoned because of what has attached them to them from the beginning,” says Giorgio, the ladies’ man, Vincent Cassel’s character in the film “My King.” He appears and disappears regularly, keeping the woman in love in the dark, and so on in a circle. You have probably also met at least once a man who suddenly stops answering calls and then appears as if nothing had happened.

To be fair, women are also prone to similar behavior. In the movie “Temptation,” this is exactly how Angelina Jolie’s heroine behaves towards the rich Cuban merchant played by Antonio Banderas, who is ready to throw everything at the feet of an elusive dream girl.

How to behave with such people? Why does a partner who seems to be making efforts to achieve reciprocity suddenly disappear from sight?

Psychologist and sexologist Irina Roni answered these questions specifically for The Fashion Vibes. She explained what it means to build bridges and excite in relationships, and also shared recommendations on how to cope with the consequences of manipulation and protect the psyche from shocks.

Irina Roni, psychologist and sexologist

What is a bridge and what does it look like?

Bridging is a method of manipulation in which a person first disappears from their partner’s life, suddenly stops communicating, and then reappears, creating the illusion of their existence. This approach can have a profound effect on the victim’s psyche, leaving them in a state of uncertainty and constant expectation. This can happen at different stages of a relationship, from early romantic relationships to deeper, longer-term relationships. In most cases, this is because you are unable to openly discuss your feelings or are not ready for a serious relationship.

An example of building a bridge is when a girl starts communicating with a guy, and everything goes well for a few weeks. Then she disappears: stops responding to messages, ignores calls. Such a sharp transition from communication to silence makes a woman feel inferior and insecure.

Or an example of this could be when a woman receives the following message from a man: “You’re amazing, but I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship.” She may feel uncertain and uncertain. On the one hand, she likes him, but on the other hand, she’s not ready to take the next step. This creates an internal struggle and makes her want to stay in touch even if she’s not taking the initiative.

What is hype and what does it look like?

Hyping is a term that describes manipulative behavior in romantic relationships, where one partner uses other emotional connections to increase the interest and importance of their person in the eyes of the other. This has become especially true in the age of social networks and instant communication, where it has become easier than ever to maintain relationships with multiple people at the same time. By analyzing people’s behavior on the Internet, we can conclude that many tend to use exaggerated influence to increase their self-esteem or attract attention.

Hyping involves playing with words, making jokes that verge on the foul, and putting your partner in a negative light. These vague statements can make a woman feel like she needs to prove her worth by being constantly tested to see if she’s “enough.”

An exaggerated example would be a situation where a man actively flirts with a woman, tells her how valuable she is to him, and plans joint trips, but still never fulfills his promises and does not show serious intentions. This behavior can make a woman think that her relationship has a future, while in fact the man is not ready for commitment.

Bridge VS Excitement

Due to the rapid development of social networks, bridge building and exaggeration in relationships have become more common. Often manipulators use both techniques at the same time. And of course, such manipulations do not leave a mark on the soul. For example, a woman who is waiting for a serious relationship may experience excitement when her partner promises too much and then goes into bridge building mode. This is especially common in the world of online dating, where people can easily leave without feeling responsible for their actions. It is important to analyze situations to understand when to step back and not give in to manipulations that can drag you into an unhealthy relationship.

Let’s add that excitement and bridges occur not only in romantic relationships, but also in friendships and business relationships, and have a devastating effect on the partner’s self-confidence.

In addition to hyperbole and hyperbole, there are also vague compliments that can be interpreted positively but also contain elements of ambiguity or irony. For example, “You look unusually good today!” can sound both pleasant and offensive. Your partner may wonder, “Just today? What do I look like on other days?” These types of compliments create an atmosphere of confusion in which the recipient begins to doubt their own perceptions and self-worth.

We emphasize that such mechanisms are used not only by men, but also by women. And not only in relationships with a romantic partner, but also with a friend, sister, mother or daughter. For example, he may say: “You look so beautiful today that I don’t even recognize you!” This can be taken as a hint that he looked worse before. Or in relation to a man: “You’re so cool, you’re not like my ex!” Such a statement can conceal both the devaluation of the partner and the insult.

How to deal with the consequences of such manipulations?

In order to cope with the consequences of manipulation, it is important for partners to develop communication and openness skills.

Pay more attention to open and honest conversations about your feelings and intentions in your relationship with your partner. Understanding your own boundaries and needs, and respecting your partner’s feelings, can help minimize the impact of bridging and exaggerating.

Whether you’re dealing with hyperbole or exaggeration, it’s important to remember that healthy relationships are based on honesty, respect, and openness. By following this advice, you can better protect yourself from negative experiences and build strong, trusting relationships.