Was psychology waiting or why do women fall in love with criminals?

It may seem incredible, but many serial killers had fan bases, and some, like psychopaths Ted Bundy and Carol Ann Boone, even got married while in prison. Moreover, the woman in love even gave birth to his daughter after he was executed in the electric chair. And this is far from an isolated case. Suffice it to recall that in Russia, the wives of the Decembrists were even ready to follow their exiled loved ones to hard labor. Today, such women are called waitresses.

What motivates them: belief in innocence or pathological attraction? Why do many killers appear attractive even in movies? What makes women believe that their love will change the evil nature of a notorious criminal?

Psychologist Elena Yarikova answered these questions exclusively for The Fashion Vibes.

Elena Yarikova, psychologist

Is it possible to fall in love with a murderer?

By itself, such a phenomenon seems illogical and fictitious, because the average woman wants a caring, loving husband and family happiness, but not a relationship with a criminal, although cases when women are attracted to murderers or criminals are not uncommon.

History shows that the internal breakdown of criminals, caused by mental disorders, often expressed in aggression and the desire to cause pain, is not only not rejected by society, but in some cases, on the contrary, is supported. That is, before and after the crime, there are women waiting ready to have intercourse with the person who committed the crime. This is a kind of protest against social norms and rules, and on the other hand, a certain privilege, because such a “bad guy” will be with me. That is, to raise one’s own self-esteem due to the dark reputation of the object of worship.

Almost all women who enter into relationships with abusers, bullies and their henchmen, criminals, know who they are dealing with, but at the same time find excuses to stay in painful relationships for years. Endurance is justified by various reasons: a difficult childhood, problems at work, a difficult character, etc. But all these cases have one thing in common: the woman believes that it is she who will save her loved one, that it will be virtue that will change, change, teach him differently. This is the most dangerous delusion – false self-confidence leads not only to moral, but also to physical violence that lasts for years.

Why do women choose problematic partners?

Women who sympathize with criminals are more likely to have traumatic experiences in their past. Most often, this deviation is due to parent-child relationships, where the father shows aggression towards his daughter. The role of the victim leads to a stable pattern of behavior, which later manifests itself in the search for a certain partner and building a similar model of relationships with him as with a parent in childhood. That is, such girls do not like the right men: they just pass by.

Such a woman, even if she meets a potential partner with a healthy psyche, often does not know how to behave with him correctly, because she is not familiar with any other model of interaction. Childhood psychotrauma gives girls a stable habit of a certain model of relationships and does not allow them to establish a healthy and stable connection with a partner, returning them to a familiar environment where all the rules of the game are already familiar. If a girl is regularly subjected to aggression from her father, then most likely in later life she will look for a man with similar qualities to her father.

What kind of women get involved with criminals?

There is another model: most often relationships with criminals, that is, prisoners, are established by women who have problems in establishing relationships in real life. There is also a possibility of finding a man in places not too far away, and it is quite high.

It is even worth noting that some people are so carried away by their feelings that they justify their loved one to the end and believe in his innocence. The reasons for this love are also clear: a man in prison does not live a very eventful life.

In addition, nature also pays the price, and under all current conditions, women’s attention may be the only way out.

During this period, a woman receives the attention and warm communication that is often lacking in relationships with men in real life.

There is also a certain romanticism in the letters and promises of a better life after serving his sentence, as well as a sense of complete control that he is not “playing” and will definitely not give up to anyone. All this plays an important role in the decision to wait for the object of love from prison.