10 questions to help you understand yourself

What questions should you ask yourself to get to know yourself better? We learned from Maria Kuklina-Simankova, a consulting psychologist, systems psychologist, certified professional coach at the Mental Research Institute of Palo Alto California, coach with the European Master Coach ICI Association, and member of the Coaching and Counseling Association (ECA).

Maria Kuklina-Simakova

In the modern world, you will rarely meet a person who does not speak enthusiastically about the importance of travel, how it makes you live and feel, and again and again discover something new, interesting and educational both in ourselves and in the world as a whole. .

How does the world and our inner world work? How do people live and how do I want to live? What actually brings me joy and emotion, and where did I arrive at a socially sanctioned structure? And if I asked everyone here and now the question: “Do you like to travel?”, most likely you would intuitively nod at me and say: “Of course, yes! I love!”.

Ah, this taste of innovation and knowledge that makes us breathe more and more often, filling the diaphragm with air in order to enjoy as long as possible what is opening before our eyes – vast fields, forests and ocean waters. the spontaneity and naturalness of the desires of the animal world, like the tears of a child and, of course, the nursery.

Imagine for a moment that you are standing on a hill, arms outstretched, the wind surrounding you, as if kissing your cheeks, and your heart is ready to look into its depths with awe and observe this beauty. unknown world! Now leave this feeling inside you, let your skin and goosebumps rise, and allow yourself to imagine that you can convey the same bright and incredible emotions to your hitherto incomprehensible inner world. And finally get to know yourself, open the lavender fields of your soul, delve into the depths of your personal ocean and follow the fluffy clouds of thoughts.

You, like each of us, are a fascinating world!

Today, I invite you to dive deeper into the subject by answering the questions carefully prepared by your close friend and psychologist with many years of experience. Have a good journey. Believe me, there is no greater good than that revealed to a person who knows himself and his inner world.

1. Who are you? Who are you here and now at this current point in your life?

Don’t be afraid of the feeling of confusion and confusion that may take over you. This question is so broad that we don’t even take it on because we intuitively feel the incredible volume.

It’s like deciding to read Tolkien’s books for the first time. The volume is scary when you read only the first pages, and then everything is like fog, page by page, book by book.

Put aside the importance of this question and start with a dry statement. How old are you? Which family are you from? Where and when were you born? Do you have family? What is your profession and where do you live? What is your social status? What is your salary and how is your day structured?

Be sure to read what you wrote after the upload and allow yourself to think about what you wrote and how you feel about this person you are reading the upload about. Allow yourself to confront thoughts and feelings about yourself.

2. What happened to you as a child? Do you remember him?

No, we’re not here to accuse anyone of anything. And yes, whether we want it or not, our childhood inevitably determines us and our attitude towards life. We may resist and deny, but that’s how we and our psyche are structured – the first decade of our life and unconscious unconscious experience largely determine our choices, choice of partners, sexual preferences and moral principles.

So there is nothing left to do but recognize your childhood as part of an incredibly important experience and learn to get in touch with it and make sense of it. Note the phrase: “What happened to you when you were a child?” Don’t run away from it. Get acquainted with your memories and tell everything that comes to your mind when this question is asked. If you feel tears coming to your eyes, allow yourself to hug yourself and rock gently. If you cope, you’re not there anymore. You have the right to empathize with yourself and feel more than a wave of gratitude when talking about your own childhood.

3. Which cartoon, movie or story do you like the most? Which hero do you identify with? Who makes you feel the most anger and rejection?

It is much easier for each of us to understand ourselves and see how our world works, how we perceive certain events through transference and projection. And of course, books, TV series, movies and cartoons magically overcome this situation. You have probably come across misunderstandings or, on the contrary, emotional squeals many times when one of your friends or relatives somehow sees the plot of a book or movie differently or finds this or that action justified, or vice versa.

Often our ideal image of the future or ourselves lives on in our favorite movies and books. What we actually strive for for one reason or another.

4. What is happiness? Have I ever experienced this feeling?

After working as a psychologist for ten years, I can honestly tell you that the only thing people strive for is happiness. Behind the thickness of the vehicles and the differences in approach, everyone is looking for one thing.

And now the most delicious and interesting part. Do you know what happiness is to you? After all, there is no common understanding in the world.

Happiness is a completely individual state that has no right or wrong interpretation.

Happiness is a state of sublime pleasure that everyone experiences in their own way.

When answering your question about happiness, move away from clichés and allow yourself freedom and precision in talking about the two aspects. The first is how you know you are happy. Secondly, for you happiness is in the details and there are no general statements.

5. What do I really think about men? Who are they? Do I want to be a man and do I like their role in the world and society?

6. What do I really think about women? Who are they? Do I want to be a woman and do I like her role in the world and society?

These two questions are analysis and familiarity with contexts. Everything you think about men and women is predominantly the influence of two huge systems. The system of your parents and the system of your ethnic group and the system of the country where you grew up and lived. Believe me, Buryats see women differently than Russian men. And Eastern women see men completely differently than Russian or European women.

We are small, the world’s systems are large and voluminous. Whether we like it or not, the influence of large systems inevitably occurs. Let these questions reveal your deepest attitude towards men and women, their role in society and family. Allow yourself to become aware of where your thoughts are and where the thoughts you unconsciously attract are.

7. What kind of love are you? So what do you often miss in relationships?

People whom we consider attractive and with whom we want to intertwine in a love dance, seem so to us not only because of their objective qualities (friendship, ability to communicate on various topics, love of sports), but also because they have a certain character. attraction, problems and difficulties. This is why they become particularly attractive to us, as most of us try to survive or compensate for the hardships and pain we experienced in childhood.

A bold and honest look at ourselves in love and loving relationships will enable us to soberly answer the question: “Do I want to be in a relationship with myself? So why? If not why?

8. How do you sleep? Did you sleep well last night?

9. When was the last time you gave up control and surrendered 100% to rest and relaxation?

Rest is important. Yes, you know this. The question is; How well do you adhere to the knowledge of this simple truth and apply it in your daily life?

Sleep is basic. You cannot relax without sleep. You can’t lose weight or feel light without sleep. If you search a little on Google, you will find many definitions of torture whose purpose is to torment people by depriving them of sleep. Do we want to be our own executioners and torturers?

Sometimes we are not happy because something goes wrong. But because we forget the common truths that sleep and rest are the perfect cure for many problems.

10. What would you definitely try if you knew you couldn’t fail in your profession, business or hobby?

Close your eyes or look away, look at everything that surrounds you and write down your wildest desires. What do I really want to try? What do I want to contact? What experience does my personality and soul want to know?

And finally, a question where there is no competition and no queue. What did you really learn about yourself by answering all the questions above? Go back to the first question and answer yourself: “Who am I? What kind of person am I? Only now, without saving your own way, with your heart.

What kind of person am I?..

I’m sure if you really look at your world and get in touch with me, you’ve certainly seen a lot of beauty and maybe a lot of pain, but that’s exactly what makes you who you are, no matter what. , very good!

I embrace you with words and hearts. Travel within yourself as often as possible!