20 etiquette rules we constantly break

Coco Chanel said, “You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.” And it’s hard to argue with that. No, in this text we will not talk about which hand to hold the cutlery correctly. There are many subtle moments and situations in society where it is not clear what is appropriate and what is not. We constantly talk about the etiquette rules we break.

Return the compliment

According to etiquette, it is impolite to reject a compliment, and it is also impolite to respond to praise with praise. Just smile a little and say thank you. If you really want to say something nice, do not try to reciprocate with the same compliment, but sincerely tell your interlocutor why you admire him. For example, to the words “You look great” you can say: “I saw you on stage recently. I was impressed.” In this way, you both convey the topic to the speaker and say nice words to him/her.

Place the bag on the floor or table

In a restaurant (and not only there), it is considered inappropriate to put a bag on the table or on the floor. The bag can be placed on a chair to the side or behind you.

Putting the phone on the table in a restaurant

Responding to messages during a meeting is disrespectful to the other person. To avoid temptation, you should put your phone in your bag, but in no case leave it on the dining table. It’s best to turn off your smartphone completely so that calls and notifications don’t distract anyone.

being more than 15 minutes late

This is a classic. It is considered rude to keep someone waiting for more than 15 minutes. If you are late, you must call and apologize.

Bring up taboo topics at social events

Remember, topics related to health, diet, politics and nationality are taboo. You can discuss them only with close people, but not in a secular company. Otherwise, you may unintentionally hurt the feelings of others and you will be considered an unpleasant interlocutor. Even if talking about the weather gets on your nerves, it’s better than nothing. Ideal for sparking conversations about travel, art, literature and other hobbies.

Avoid alcohol at a social gathering

As etiquette expert Tatyana Polyakova says, you should not say the phrase “I don’t drink” at a meeting. A small glass of champagne is always appropriate because it is a sign of attention. After all, no one is forcing you to empty your glass to the bottom. People drink alcohol not to get drunk, but to enjoy the delicious taste of the drink. The only exception is religion, but the person inviting you should know your preferences in advance and not invite you to the cocktail party. Otherwise, it’s his fault, not yours. By the way, health problems are not a reason for refusal, so it is better to raise a glass for the sake of politeness.

Eating and drinking alcohol on public transport

Even if you are very hungry, you should not eat on the go or drink alcohol in transport. This is inappropriate in a public place.

I wish you “bon appetit” and “health”

It is not customary to wish “bon appetit” at a social or business meeting. By the way, according to etiquette, you should not say this phrase to your colleagues at lunch either, because you will unknowingly touch on taboo topics such as health and diet. Likewise, there is no need to wish “health” to someone who is sneezing, especially to colleagues and strangers at the party.

Place your elbows on the table

While it is considered bad manners to put your elbows on the table during lunch, on the contrary, after serving dessert or food, it is appropriate to rest your elbows on the table as it is a moment of relaxation. It is customary to eat with the right hand, and the left should lie on knees covered with a napkin.

Letting a lady exit the elevator first

The first elevators were not automatic and were used by specially trained people. For security reasons, a man must first exit the elevator, followed by a woman. True, today this rule is not observed so often anymore.

The man pays for everything

In fact, in a restaurant or cinema, the person who invites the guest pays. If the woman is the one who initiates the meeting, you should take care of the budget in advance.

Do not give bouquets to men

In fact, etiquette dictates that women give flowers to men. For example, it is appropriate to give your boss a bouquet for his birthday.

go the wrong way

According to etiquette, when walking, the man walks on the left and the woman walks on the right.

Ask for forgiveness twice

If you are late or a glass falls on the tablecloth, it is appropriate to apologize, but only once. Asking for forgiveness is not a nice thing to do because it attracts people’s attention. If a person is well-mannered, he will act as if he was not upset or did not realize his mistake.

Calling too late or too early

It is always important to consider time zone differences. If you call another country during the day, remember that it may be late at night outside your interlocutor’s window. According to digital etiquette, you should not send messages too early or late (even for work). Unfortunately, in life it is often violated.

Violating personal space on social networks

Even if you are in a hurry, you should not write very large “canvases” of text to the person or interrupt the message. If you’ve been sent a long letter, it would be rude to simply respond with “ok” or “yes.” For work, you need to write via e-mail or instant messengers, and not on personal blogs and social networks, but in practice this rule is often violated.

Send video and voice messages

Voicemails are so annoying, in fact, for many people that they have become associated with the invasion of personal space. To quickly contact a person, ask “Can I call you about this?” It is better to write, but do not fill the voice. The same goes for video calling.

Do not respond to messages for a long time

According to the rules of ethics, the message must be answered within 24 hours. In this case, you can make a phone call that does not exceed 10 seconds. Third, ringing the doorbell twice is appropriate because it is bad behavior.

Don’t leave a tip

In European society, a tip is always left since the waiter’s salary does not depend on the amount of the restaurant’s check. In Asian countries such as China and Japan, tipping may be considered an insult. It all depends on context. If you do not want to be mistaken for a tourist in secular society, you should not leave a very large tip. In Europe, they also tip cloakroom attendants.

Taking photos in inappropriate places

It is appropriate to take photos at the Bolshoi Theater or in a restaurant, but a photo taken in the toilet will not show your best side. You should also take into account a delicate point when posing for a photo: it is advisable that there are no strangers in the photo. You should also not take photos of other people’s children and animals because this shows disrespect for privacy.