3 ways to help you learn to make decisions

When making decisions, we don’t always think about exactly how we will do it. We trust intuition in most life situations: what to cook for dinner, how to dress for work – such a choice does not require one to weigh all the pros and cons. But solving more serious problems can turn our lives around.

Decision making is a skill that is rarely taught. As children, we were either given no options at all (“eat what they give”) or were taught to choose only one of several options (“you can’t ask Santa for three gifts for the New Year, choose the one you want, I want most”).

The most painful thing is being involved in decisions that have not been made. It can be compared to a glass flying to the ground. Imagine that you accidentally throw it off the table with your hand, and then you may have time to catch it or let it fall in free fall – this is also a choice. When the glass is flying, you are nervous. No matter what awaits your glass, whether it breaks or stays intact, you’ll stop worrying as soon as it reaches the floor. It’s the same for decisions; We live in stress trying to make choices. But as soon as we finally decide on something, we get rid of it.

Many people prefer to choose according to their own heart in order to get rid of uncertainty as soon as possible and decide on one thing. However, there are helpful decision-making techniques that coach and NLP master Natalya Cherkasova talks about specifically for The Fashion Vibes.

Natalya Cherkasova, NLP master

Cartesian coordinates – a rational approach

This method is like a good old pros and cons list. It is relevant when you need to decide on something from the “to do or not to do” category. For example, make a clear decision to quit your job or start a new project.

Try to imagine or draw a coordinate plane. Each part of it will contain the consequences of a decision and the opportunities you miss because of its adoption: “What will happen if you accept?”, “What will happen if you do not accept?” and accordingly “What will not happen if you accept?” and “What won’t happen if you don’t accept?”

In each sector, write down not only the possible advantages of your decision, but also the difficulties you will have to face or avoid. You can draw such a coordinate system on a piece of paper or stick it on the wall using stickers. This way you will clearly see all possible outcomes of events, like a real strategist. It’s a pretty simple method, but working with it will force you to look more closely at each option.

Criteria matrix – a rational approach, but more complex

Making decisions according to criteria is the most rational and meticulous method. This scheme will be relevant in cases where you need to choose among several possible options. Here, the matrix is ​​a table where the rows are the possible options and the columns are the important criteria for the decision.

This method is most effective in making decisions in business management. For example, using a matrix, you can visually evaluate several contractors for a specific task and compare them with each other. It is also suitable for making important life decisions, for example, when choosing a university or an apartment.

The criteria of the matrix are your values. Let’s imagine a situation: several men are courting you, the criteria for choosing a partner can be: “age”, “appearance”, “sense of humor”, “amount of earnings (and maybe not only)”, “views”, etc. If the applicant meets one of the criteria, they receive one point. Moreover, different criteria may have different “weights” depending on their importance to you. So some may give more points to the option. As a result of working with the matrix, you will be able to clearly evaluate which men have a chance to become the only one for you.

The matrix allows us to evaluate different options based on their advantages and disadvantages and does not allow us to involve emotions in the decision.

Irrational methods – creativity

If you stubbornly cannot find a way out of the situation, you should try to act in a non-obvious way and… stop looking for it. When we try to solve a problem under stress, we start to act chaotically. We seem to be unable to tolerate even a moment of distraction, we become obsessed and find ourselves in a dead end.

Various solutions continue to seem optimal, or the solution seems obvious, but we feel inside that we need to do something different.

The purpose of this method is to force your brain to make unexpected decisions in impasse situations. When we act in an unusual way that is not typical for us, we give new stimuli to the brain. It is they who bring inspiration or highlight solutions that lie on the surface and are not noticeable from our conventional perspective.

For example: While chatting with a friend, watching a TV series, or working out at the gym, a sudden idea may come to your mind. Take a break, rest your mind and see how the solution comes to you.

Do you always have to choose?

Who said you have to choose only one of the options you like? When we are faced with a choice, we should not consider the possibility of having everything.

Killing two birds with one stone sometimes turns out to be a very realistic attempt. But to get everything at once, you must first allow yourself to have it.

For example, if you have to choose between being hired or freelancing. You consider two opposing options and do not even consider the idea of ​​agreeing on a suitable schedule with your boss and combining the two jobs.

Most people fall into what is called the choice trap. In the meantime, you can always try asking yourself an additional question: “Can I act in a way that takes everything?” This way of thinking also encourages the brain to make decisions that are not obvious, allowing us to see more bifurcations than we initially set for ourselves.

We live in a world where every decision and option must be questioned. Conventional methods seem safe and predictable to us, but the truth is that things can change at any time. It is important to be prepared for any change and to accept the consequences of decisions with ease and curiosity.