Safe word: What should you do if a partner offers you threesome?

Diversity is important in sex as in life. The degree of need is individual for both the individual and the couple. It is enough for someone to change poses, someone is inspired by role-playing games, and someone has a more difficult time, because for their experiments additional people are needed. And it’s not about cheating. We are talking about a situation when one of the partners wanted to sleep with a soul mate and a new person at the same time.

And here a problem arises, a conflict of interest, where on the one hand there is a new experience and a common experience, that is, no one is cheating on anyone. On the other hand, a third that you should share but do not want to share comes to your bed.

The initiative for such an adventure can come from both a boy and a girl. Therefore, you should not immediately label your lover as a pervert. One day you may be drawn into the unknown. In the meantime, let’s talk about how you would respond if the offer slipped out of your mouth.

Since the “threesome” question is still considered something out of the norm, we asked psychologist Yulia Bakhareva to share her opinion on how to respond to such offers from a partner.

Julia Bakhareva, psychologist

The response to such an offer may vary. It is important to understand that there are absolutely no “right” or “wrong” decisions on such matters in psychology.

By isolating from your partner, you need to analyze your desires and see if it really suits you. your values. If you understand that this is definitely not for you, you should disagree, as this experience can become traumatic and cause a wide variety of negative feelings for yourself and your partner.

You have to be honest with him about your feelings, thoughts, and fears. If the partner continues to insist on threesomes after the interview, you need to consider whether your values ​​are generally the same and whether this partner is right for you.

What do you need to know if you decide to do a trio?

The primary experience of this format is no less significant than the first sex. However, if the latter occurs at the beginning of the relationship, when you still have nothing to lose and there is an inconsistency, you can simply terminate them, then when it comes to a new experience, it is important not to spoil what is already there. established relationship. Take a few tips from The Fashion Vibes into service for the experiment to be successful.

1. Be considerate of each other

Remember that you are trying this for the good of the relationship and you need to focus on each other first. Here it is extremely important to pay attention to the partner and his comfort. You can’t just think about physical pleasure, forgetting about emotions.

2. Discuss the details before starting

Before starting this game, it is worth having a conversation among all the participants of the event. It is important to determine what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. Also, if necessary, you need to define the so-called “stop word” that will allow you to stop actions that go beyond comfort.

3. Don’t lean on alcohol

Do not follow stereotypes and do not use alcohol as a means of liberation. Alcohol can disappoint you and affect your physiology, for a man there is a risk that this game will not start at all … Moreover, a drunk mind increases the risk of breaking personal boundaries, forgetting the rules.

4. A close friend is not the best candidate for first experience.

The first experience may not be the most successful, and therefore the third participant of this performance should not be one of your close friends. If some embarrassment arises in the process, a friend or girlfriend will forever remind you of the situation, in extreme cases your relationship will be completely ruined.

5. Regulate feelings of jealousy

Jealousy. On the contrary, it is the main thing that can bother someone who has trouble making a triple decision. It is important to prepare yourself for the fact that you can be jealous and try to regulate this emotion. Remember that the third person is only here for physiological contact and is not acting like your chosen one.