“A way to relax”: PEOPLETALK columnist Nika Nabokova on “beautiful” alcoholism

Every month, The Fashion Vibes columnist, author, author of eight best-selling popular psychology books, creator of Mindspa app (one of the top 5 mental health apps) Nika Nabokova analyzes issues that affect any of us.

We all need support, especially now. Here you will find answers to questions about yourself, as well as questions about love, life, people, relationships, fears, courage, challenges and happiness.

Nika Nabokova, The Fashion Vibes columnist, author, and a psychological service manager

A luxurious girl in a flowy silk blouse and snow-white trousers wearily removes her bare stilettos, goes to the perfect, sparkling kitchen, opens the refrigerator, takes out a bottle and a glass that looks like a work of art. She then pours the wine, takes a sip, and breathes a sigh of relief.

But the company of girlfriends got together “for a cocktail.” Third, maybe fourth time in a week. Everyone shines, smooth skin, perfect style, tastefully chosen accessories. Cocktails also look in harmony with the colors of the clothes. Girls have fun, look happy, free and successful.

A man in a suit perfectly tailored to his body, even made-to-order, approaches the panoramic window of the attic. He is focused, looking at the lights of the big city. He’s holding a glass of whiskey.

I took all these scenes from popular movies. And that’s just a small part of how often alcohol is found in portraits of heroes we want to emulate.

In our eyes, these movie people are perfect. They are beautiful, strong, sometimes omnipotent, they have what we don’t have. And of course, when we look at their luxurious apartments, their ideal looks, their well-groomed faces, we do not even think that an alcoholic will be our role model.

How is addiction understood?

Tell me, what image comes to mind when you hear the word “alcoholic”? I bet someone fell. An exhausted, dirty, country man, dressed in an open-padded jacket, ragged shoes, and even a character with no fixed place of residence, muttering straight down his throat.

In fact, alcoholism often looks quite different. Yes, imagine, two “innocent” glasses of red wine in the evening can be considered an addiction if:

• alcohol is used by you to solve emotional problems;
• you cannot imagine your evening without these two conditional glasses;
• alcohol is the only or most common and easiest way to relax, have fun, or feel more secure;
• you look forward to meeting alcohol;
• the prospect of quitting alcohol scares you;
• all the points listed above bothered you and “What do you understand!”

How does “beautiful” alcoholism affect a person?

Unfortunately, “beautiful” alcoholism is much more common than we imagine when we hear the term. It seems to people that if they drink good wine, expensive whiskey or cheerful multi-colored cocktails, they do it elegantly, they do not lie under the fence, they keep their legal capacity, then everything is fine. “Just a way to relax”, “a pleasant ritual”. Especially since it is so romanticized in the culture. Movies, serials, clips, popular bloggers and vloggers – everywhere you come across powerful, beautiful, luxurious people, part of her image is necessarily a glass.

But real life bears little resemblance to a movie (unless it’s Leviathan, of course) and a great painting. in it organised Alcohol consumption affects personality. And bad effects. Felting under the fence is the last stage, and before that there are many more that don’t look so bad but that definitely impact quality of life, communication and relationships.

The problems that people try to “fill” with a bottle, even a glass or two, do not go away. Tension does not decrease, anxiety does not pass, loneliness does not dissipate, tension remains registered in the body. Unresolved difficulties and painful questions accumulate, sometimes breaking, and over time the dose of alcohol begins to increase to neutralize them.

Like nose drops. They don’t cure a runny nose, they just relieve the symptoms. And the results can be very unpleasant. For example, addiction.

It occurs continuously, gradually, step by step. First you have one item on the list, then two, three and you see, between “drink” or “not drinking” in 99% of cases you choose the first one. And not because you want to, but because you can’t do it any other way.

By the way, appearance also suffers. There are movies where people who drink regularly are as fresh as a may rose. In real life, everything is written on the face: circles, puffiness, puffy facial features. They appear even if you regularly visit a beautician.

Vishko is stronger than fillers.

You know, it seems like there should be a strong call to “Drink” at the end of this text. Join the ranks of the Teetotalers!”

But it seems like a cliché to me. You are an adult and can independently determine how to live.

Just… Just know how it is and take that into account when choosing guidelines and behavior.

Then he goes.