I prefer to celebrate Christmas with my friends rather than with my family

Article originally published on December 18, 2015

I stopped celebrating Christmas with my family after I graduated high school when I started working far away in commerce. In this sector the month of December is intense. Since I finished late on the 24th and worked on the 26th, it was convenient for us to do it in January, when I could take a few days off.

And to be honest, it didn’t really bother me that I couldn’t celebrate Christmas with my family anymore…

The heavy tradition of Christmas in the family

In particular I have a horrific memory of a Christmas marathon with my boyfriend at the time: our parents were both divorced, which made us four Christmases in a row to please everyone. Hell!

Also, I have to say that I’m not very close to my family, e.g I find family Christmas parties a bit hypocritical : everyone smiles as if everything is fine, and we have to spend time and money on it (travel is expensive and you have to give gifts) because traditionally Christmas MUST be celebrated in the family.

Yet I love this holiday, like my mother who always puts up her department store Christmas tree on December 1st, paints gold decorations or fake snow on all the windows, and plays Christmas carols all the time.

As I also love to cook (and eat), the traditional meal makes me salivate in anticipation. It’s the commercial and family aspects that worry me : for me it must be a good meal with people who want to share a convivial moment.

Why celebrate Christmas with friends?

Not celebrating Christmas, for the 24th to be any evening, was unthinkable for me. I wanted my big table to overflow with food, the warm and smiling atmosphere, the magic of Christmas. So I rolled up my sleeves and decided that Christmas would still exist.

I didn’t have to be the only person alone that night: I went around my friends and found people like me. People far from their families, who didn’t have any or didn’t want to spend their holidays with them.

So I invited everyone and had a blast.

Spending Christmas with friends: great evenings together

Then I did it for several years and it was too good. I usually cooked traditional dishes (foie gras/salmon, turkey with chestnuts, log…), but we also happened to make more original dishes (like the mega burgers of death).

We drank great wine, we laughed, we did clichéd things like putting up a “fireplace” wallpaper and playing compilations of Christmas classics.

I did the shopping by myself or with help, I cooked and we shared the expenses. We got away with it for ten euros each.

I’m always radiant that evening, because I like to receive and above all I like Christmas. Even though sometimes people don’t believe in her magic, the smiles and good humor visible in everyone proved to me that she was there.

From year to year regulars and newcomers, friends or casual acquaintances have come and gone to my table, and I have had wonderful evenings.

From my Christmas with friends… to my Christmas

My biggest regret this year is that I can’t do it. This summer I was transferred to the other side of France, close to my family.

My friends are far away, I’ll settle for a romantic dinner on the 24th and a family Christmas on the 25th — I don’t want to make a fuss by not signing up.

My family knows I’m very fond of my Christmas with friends (they find it pretty cool) but I wouldn’t dare tell them to their faces that I prefer it since they don’t see me very often…

I had to warn all my “regular customers” that Christmas will be without me this year; then they will go back to their movie/pizza. To compensate, we’re going to do some kind of camping with friends for New Year’s Eve, we’ll spend four days together. And I fully intend to go back to my city of love next year and do Christmas again with my friends (or to have the time to organize myself better so that they come).

I think even if I ever settle down with someone and/or have kids, I’ll still invite people over for Christmas.

Because for me friends are as important as family: they know me better, support me and make me live my best moments!

Photo credit: Dorien Monnens / Unsplash