February 23, 2021
I have a tuberous chest, which is considered by medicine to be a “malformation of the breast”. Due to this physical peculiarity, the cosmetic surgery of the breasts is reimbursed by the social security.
Except me, I had no desire to have the operation. I didn’t like the idea of having foreign bodies in my chest, and I liked having a small A cup. So I tried to accept my breasts in their natural form, especially highlighting them with artistic photos, for example.
I never wanted breast implants
Without finding them “beautiful”, I had managed to tell myself that I would have “done with” my breasts.
However, I was still very embarrassed when it came to revealing them. I have had the reflex to discreetly pinch my nipples when taking off my bra so they look “better shape” in the eyes of my partners, or to make them look “prettier” in my artistic photos.
At 19, after a breakup, I ended up changing my mind about surgery: I told myself that “fixing” my breasts would make me more desirable. However, as I liked having a small trunk, I had decided that I didn’t want the implants to increase in size.
I started by meeting two plastic surgeons. Both received me for consultation very quickly (ten minutes), because they linked the appointments. They offered me various solutions, but always with breast implants, even though I explained to them that I didn’t want them. I felt very unheard and misunderstood so I abandoned this project.
In 2017, after another hard breakup, I changed my mind again. I met a new surgeon, who was able to put me at ease during a longer consultation. He seemed to know what he was doing and ended up convincing meI absolutely needed bulky prostheses (C cup)to “correct” my malformation and make the shape of my breasts more harmonious.
The procedure to get my breast done
To access this operation, I followed standard procedure : an appointment with my family doctor to talk to him about my desire to have surgery, then an interview with my surgeon. She examined my breasts and told me she could operate on them while still being covered by social security.
We plan the operation a few months later, plus a pre-op appointment with the surgeon, another with the anesthetist, and a final one with the clinic.
On the day of the operation it is essential (as often happens) to be fasting, to have shaved and washed with betadine the day before and not to wear jewelery or piercings. During the day I was taken to the operating room, put to sleep and operated on. When I woke up I spent the night in the hospital: the discharge takes place the day after the surgeon’s visit, hopefully, with the instructions for healing. Then there are the follow-up appointments: 15 days, two months and one year after the operation.
This path has been littered with obstacles for me. I had problems with relatives who were reluctant to have me operated on; I had a bad experience of loneliness and fear throughout my day waiting in the clinic; I had administrative problems related to social security… But I held on – in hindsight, it even seems to me that I forced things – and I didn’t postpone the date of the surgery.
From the beginning, the consequences were felt : Between the high cost of the operation and the trauma associated with the general anesthesia, the chest operation and the scarring, I knew it would take me some time to recover.
After my operation, the consequences become heavier
But some time later, these consequences began to weigh.
I started having severe migraines several times a week. I understood that too I had definitely lost feeling in my left nipple., due to a nerve that had been severed during the operation. It’s unsalvageable and I’m still crying with regret!
The healing and weight of the implants also made me tired every day. And above all, my left implant has created a “shell”, which has been causing me daily discomfort and inflammation for two and a half years now.
I wrote an email to my surgeon to tell her that I was having a lot of trouble accepting my prostheses, to tell her about my loss of sensation, to tell her that I was starting to form a shell. Given these details, I asked him if a denture removal rather than a denture change was possible in the years to come.
She replied that it would not be aesthetic at all and he insisted that it was absolutely not necessary to remove the implants, only to change them.
At that time, I had moved overseas for two years. I didn’t want to go back to France to undergo a new general anesthesia and have another prosthesis put in, which would probably make a new shell! So I took my problems with patience.
I remember my difficulty falling asleep, the pains, the phobia I was beginning to have at the idea of touching my chest or my nipples, for fear that the scar was not solid enough and that I would ‘rip’. The irony is, because of all these consequences, I ended up not letting anyone really enjoy these new boobs in three years…
And especially, I was ashamed of having made this decision. To lock two time bombs in my body. It was my fault? Or had I been duped, somewhere, by those who sold me dreams? I wondered, and I was really depressed.
A necessary psychological follow-up
A series of psychological problems followed. I didn’t recognize myself anymore and I didn’t feel comfortable in my bodyI had difficulty accepting my new figure and my “big” breasts, I saw the way others look at me change…
This increases my anxieties and stress it led to a significant loss of libido and accentuated my depression.
Given the cataclysm, I forced myself to consult and defuse everything that was happening to me, at any cost, step by step, small step by small step. I went to mindfulness-based cognitive pain therapy.
Right after this therapy, I took my bags (and my breasts) and went abroad again for two and a half years! I was very fortunate to be able to rebuild myself on the other side of the world and to have someone close to me, as well as some friends, there to support me.
I was also helped and followed by a “global health therapist” for a year and a half. She helped me a lot to get to know myself, to unlock the shame associated with this assembly of prosthesesand it has allowed me to implement good life habits and to do things that make me feel good!
I chose to have my dentures removed
After all these adventures, Now I’m back home and I’m better. Above all, I’ve finally found a surgeon who seems more humane than those I’ve met so far, and much more lucid on issues related to breast implants.
He agreed to remove my prosthetics and rework my original “malformation” in one operation, and he confirmed what I already suspected: the prostheses were not indispensable to my surgical “repair”.
When I told him about my trip, he wasn’t surprised and explained that the operation to directly modify the shape of the tuberous breast was long and tedious. On the contrary, the application of a prosthesis carries a minimal risk of ” failures” and is more profitable in the long run, prompting some surgeons who are careless about their patients to offer only this option.
When we talked about my upcoming surgery, it was very clear that there were always risks and hiccups and so on my breasts will never be “perfect”. But I’m fine with it.
I’ve been angry, I’ve been ashamed, but I’m calm
When it comes to breast augmentation, the weight of other people’s judgment and that of taboo is difficult to grasp: wanting to feel desirable and sexy is widely accepted, but when we choose to act, we can feel ” it wants attention, it is plastic, superficial. These judgments weighed heavily on my suffering and the shame I felt.
I am also angry: 6 months ago I learned that the brand of my prostheses (Allergan) was recalled in 2019 by the Medicines Agency (ANSM) in France because it was ” reported rare risk of cancer beyond six years after implantation. » This information was given to me by a friend and not by my surgeon!
Today I realize it more than this surgery, it was the mental health care and support I needed.
However, I end on a positive and hopeful note. This great test of my last three years prompted me to get to know myself, to work on unconditional acceptance of my body and detachment from expectations. I like to see a body like a tree, i.e. unique, solid, beautiful, for some gnarled, which changes with the seasons and the passage of time: that’s what its beauty is, after all, and it’s all this experience that confirmed it for me.
According to general practitioner Thierry Lespine, it is possible that the doctors who encouraged this young woman to have breast implants fitted did not have he hasn’t taken the time to think about the psychological aspects of his approach.
“The surgeons were able to observe this young woman under the aspect of the “anomaly” that her body presented and offer her a technical and anatomical answer, without feeling that this young woman was looking for an emotional solution. It would have been more prudent to take the time to argue with her, to offer to wait…”
Emphasize that in cosmetic surgery doctors are trained in psychological support and that it is essential to pay attention to it. Seeing your body change is not insignificant, and can have strong consequences on the psyche of people who are undergoing transformation or reconstruction operations.
As for local complications, remember the possibility, but also relative rarity. Clams, according to studies, can appear quite frequently after implants are inserted, but not all of them impose the same degree of discomfort or suffering on the people who experience them. Some are mild and disappear on their own when the forms that require an operation are much rarer.
Photo credits: Klaus Nielsen / Cottonbro (Pexels)
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Elizabeth Cabrera is an author and journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a talent for staying up-to-date on the latest news and trends, Elizabeth is dedicated to delivering informative and engaging articles that keep readers informed on the latest developments.
