5 years after #MeToo, 5 women between 20 and 40 years old tell what has changed for them

Between 2015 and 2017, the first waves of the #MeToo movement swept through the world of media. Testimonies of women victims of sexual and gender-based violence they multiply and claim citizenship in the public and private space. From the political sphere to the world of work, in the most closed places of the family and emotional relationships, violence against women becomes a topic of conversation hitherto largely neglected.

On Instagram, Lose asked the readers the question: what has changed for you since #MeToo? At the beginning of the movement, Zoé was a teenager, Juliette was 35 years old. A myriad of reactions, changes and results are emerging between their two age groups. Testimonials from 5 women who have experienced this freedom of speech.

“We cleared the floor, but what happens next? “

For me, the main change is freedom of speech. Both in my social work and in my personal life, I see that many more girls and women dare to say they are victims of violence: there is less shame and guilt in saying “me too”.

But I have a professional bias: the real question, for me, is what happens after I speak. On a daily basis, as a specialized educator, I still accompany the girls to the police station to be sure that their complaints are taken into consideration, because I see that if I’m not here to say it “You have to take care of it”nothing happens.

I feel that #MeToo has sparked hope that we might be able to move the lines, but have there been convictions today against all these notorious molesters whose names have come out? It is long and complicated to undo the reflections of society … Even in social life, it seems to me that it is something that is laughed at a little too often. I often hear it said Haha me too as to minimize it.

That doesn’t mean you have to give up, though! This is the beginning of a process which will be long and which has only just begun. Among young people, I find that the positive is much clearer, and that they have taken hold of it a little more. Girls or boys, I see an open mind in them which means that perhaps today we are not working at all.

Juliet, 40 yearsspecial education teacher

“It bothered me that everyone was calling themselves victims, until I realized it had happened to me too “

At the beginning of #MeToo, I felt like the demands were huge and all the women had been attacked or harassed by men. It seemed too much, it bothered me. I thought : “It has become fashionable to be a victim. “

Sometime later, after two years of denial, I realized that I too had been raped. #MeToo was a huge support for me back then. I understood that I was not alone and that there was real solidarity between women.

It was thanks to #MeToo that I was able to accept what had happened to me and rebuild myself later. Not only by remembering that many of us have lived through it and survived, but also managing to ask for help. I could talk to a shrink, my gynecologist, I could see a sexologist tell me “We are many to live it, he has to see 4 girls like me a week While I could have been ashamed, in my corner.

When I went to file a complaint, I saw colored dots on the ground specially dedicated to the victims of violence, and I was consciously accompanied. It seemed incredible to me that there was a true color code for that in police stations.

I know that the taboo remains present in certain areas. If I talked about my rape to some of my relatives, I think I would still be judged, that some would not be able to understand the consent I was deprived of.

I believe #MeToo has also led people to ask themselves the question of equality between men and women. For me, it was one of the doors of feminism. It is as if I had taken a step back: today many things jump on me that I did not see before. I’m 35, and I can question everything I was taught in patriarchal pressure: marriage, the patriarchal couple, the logic behind “a husband earns more than his wife, that’s normal” …

#MeToo allows me to say to myself: women are experiencing real oppression and women, together, can give a shock.

Cecile, 35 years old

“I remember the shocked reactions: he unlocked something”

I remember arguing with the people around me, men and women, and I remember people’s shocked reactions. As if this topic existed somewhere, and became visible, a real topic of conversation. At work he forced everyone to talk about it, to have a point of view on it.

I discovered that he had revealed the colleagues around me: those who say “pissed off, it’s on the edge, it’s not worse” and those who have noticed the extent of the problem.

It’s like he’s unlocked something. Before there was no talk of sexism, sexual violence, it was not possible. Today, with male and female colleagues, it happens on the mat much more easily. Be it for the positive (to sympathize with the victims) or for the negative. It has become an argument.

I also felt it in the personal sphere, as if there was a real awareness. I had no idea of ​​the extent of the phenomenon before, of the systemic aspect of its violence, of its connection with the spheres of power, of the fact that it is everywhere. Now we know.

Mélina, 30, library teacher

“Has much changed on the male side?”

For me, #MeToo reflects the rejection of all violence against women, the sexism of our society as a whole. The movement woke me up and helped me see how the men around me behaved. Testimonies of sexual violence mixed with testimonies about what women were experiencing on a daily basis, the mental load, the emotional load … I could realize what women were going through in heterosexual couples, and tell me that the question was out of place for me to lock myself up there just under the pressure of having a boyfriend or husband.

When I moved with my first boyfriend, having already seen how my father behaved, I immediately understood that he expected me to work, to do the housework, to manage his administration, but also to pay … I had to know everything better than him, and to make his problems mine. I ended up throwing him out, because I knew what was going on wasn’t “normal”.

I think #MeToo has changed the game a lot for women, who rebel and no longer accept their condition. But not much has changed on the male side. I don’t know anyone who moves to respect us, to do what we do, to fight for our rights. So, I live my best single life, no pressure!

Laurène, 25, recent graduate

“My first romantic relationship was after MeToo”

I saw #MeToo emerge with the Polanski case, on Instagram and on Twitter when I was 15. I was already interested in feminism and was already somewhat aware of the sexism around me. Seeing all these women talking, talking in front of a powerful, respected and rich man, did me good.

It also allowed me to open my eyes to the fact that the violence to which women were subjected was daily, that it was not just “every now and then”. That everywhere, around us, men allow themselves to have inappropriate gestures or words and to take power in public space, even in the way they sit on public transport, without us daring to respond. And precisely, for me, #MeToo is liberation in terms of sexual violence, but also in general: we thought we could answer.

Since the topic was on TV, my mother told me that she had already been harassed in a public place, that a man had put a hand on her thigh without her consent. She did me good that she told me, because we share all these experiences, and we have nothing to be ashamed of.

It comforted me not to have to say certain things I had experienced, because others around me were saying them. And even though I know that women’s complaints are still not handled properly, I tell myself that knowing that on the internet and elsewhere they can be talked about can help to counterbalance the idea that some have grown up with, the one that even if you denounce, they don’t. nothing will happen.

People around me talk about it quite freely. With the women I meet it is much easier to denounce sexism, and I have the impression that men are also affected, that they talk about it and that perhaps they pay more attention.

I haven’t really lived through the time when it was frowned upon to say you were a feminist. In the late teens there were feminist street collages, public support campaigns. For me it was normal. My first romantic relationship, when I was 16, was after #MeToo and I very quickly told the guy I was with that I was a feminist. I felt like he was too because he didn’t say anything about me keeping my hair, he was listening to me talking about it, but I soon realized that he didn’t care at all, that he didn’t hit him that much.

Zoé, 20, student