From “PUT YOUR HAT ON” to “DON’T EAT THIS”, all these phrases we repeat all summer when we are parents

Posted August 12, 2021

The holidays are approaching – or have already passed for the Julyists – and they will bring their share of ready-made phrases, hounded all day to the little heirs addicted to greasy donuts and chocolate pancakes.

Even if we could have promised ourselves that we would never, EVER be a part of the reluctant parenting team, that we would be super cool and relaxed from underpants … well actually, we all say the same thing to our kids, except two or three details or formulations.

The standard sentences of the parent on vacation, no one will cut it

Here is a small non-exhaustive list of the words, phrases, expressions you will (or have already) pronounced in the weeks to come. Sure, I’m counting on you to complement it with your jokes!

1. “No Yuan, we won’t stop to pee AGAIN, we just did”
2. “We can still see the retro style house, so there’s no point asking when we’re coming, it’s not right away, Khadija”
3. “If you want to throw up, it’s in the bucket, not on the seat in front of you”
4. “Damn, why did I pick up his vomit with my own hands?” “
5. “But no Marie-Cystitis, it doesn’t smell of sewage, it smells of sea and algae”
6. “Come here let me create you”
7. “Put your hat back on!” “
8. “No, let’s not get into the water immediately, first you have to digest”
9. “Stop eating sand!” ”
10. “Put your bracelets back on”
11. “Dolores, put this jellyfish down now”
12. “Stop trying to bury your brother, the tide is rising”
13. “No, you can’t get another ice cream”
14. “Let’s not run into the pool, Giorgio!” “
15. “Come here, let’s add more cream, you’re in the middle of a dodger there”
16. “No, rosé is not for children. Drink your grenadine. “
17. “Don’t just eat mozzarella in your tomato salad, it’s cheating”
18. “No, we don’t have barbecue for breakfast”
19. “Everyone takes a nap, even the adults, so shh, sleep! “
20. “Did you make your vacation notebook today? “
21. “Yes, this museum of the wheel in the Middle Ages is so beautiful, it will be a nice visit, you will see!” “
22. “Come on, let’s buy postcards for grandfather and grandmother”
23. “Where have your flip flops gone?” And the second, where is it? “
24. “Keep it up and let’s go straight home and cancel the rest of the vacation!” “
25. “Sure you can watch another episode of Peppa Pig, but when mom finishes her beer, we stop, ok? “
26. “Next time, we will do all inclusive with a childcare center. Or let’s take a full time nanny. Yes, I know we don’t have the means, so what? “
27. “When is he back to school yet? “
28. “Don’t eat that chipo, it’s charred!” “
29. “No, chips are not vegetables”
30. ‘What if we leave the children to the grandparents for the holidays next year? “

Come on, good luck, happy holidays and I can’t wait for the school year to start!

Photo credit image of a: TV movie “A Quite Weird Summer”