Help, should I make my child believe that Santa Claus exists?

Have 1000 questions about parenting? About the couple? On your relationship with your in-laws? Are you wondering how to overcome the injunctions that society imposes on you? La Daronne is listening to you, and I promise, her answers aren’t too off the mark.

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

This is the first Christmas my 3 year old really understands what’s going on. We hadn’t previously introduced the idea of ​​Santa Claus bringing presents, with all the imagination that entails. He is in a small section and around him many children are talking about Santa Claus as the holidays approach. My son asked himself (and has asked himself) some questions and this creates a real dilemma for me. Should we make him believe in Santa Claus, yes or no?

I admit that I don’t really want to lie, but it still seems like a lie that isn’t too big or traumatic, and that it’s rather based on a good intention… And I still really want to live these moments that I loved as a child with him!

I would appreciate your opinion!

THANK YOU !

Geraldine

Daronne’s response

My dear Geraldine,

Ah, good question that you asked me there, and which risks causing a lot of discussion here, in the comments of this article.

Should you make your children believe that Santa Claus exists or not? I think everyone has their own opinion, so here’s yet another opinion (which is still an opinion) and maybe it can help you.

Not all children believe in Santa Claus

First thing: just because you want your child to believe that a big bearded man will come and bring him presents through the chimney doesn’t mean your child believes it, you already have to have it in mind. Not all children are equally receptive to this belief and other beliefs more broadly. Whatever you decide, ultimately, your child will have control over what he or she chooses to believe or not. So don’t force anything.

…But they like to believe in magic in general

Yes, children, say, under the age of six, like to believe in magic. They like to imagine that when they hide, even if it is in the middle of the living room, no one sees them. They like to think that fairies and witches exist, I for one, at the age of 8, was only waiting for one thing: for my letter to Hogwarts to arrive. In short, even beyond the figure of Santa Claus, I believe that it is above all in magic that children want to believe.

And there is magic during the holidays. Even just because it is a moment in which we get together, share, during meetings that we are not used to in the rest of the year, they are family moments that are a little out of time. And the magic can stop there, without necessarily having to invent a character who brings gifts to good (or not) children.

Should you make your children believe that Santa Claus exists or not?

So should you, yes or no, make your children believe that Santa Claus exists? Well, it mainly depends on you and your beliefs, on your relationship with these traditions and holidays, with this magic. If you experienced Santa’s existence as a joy as a child, perhaps you would want to recreate it for your child? If, however, you feel like you have been blatantly lied to and are suffering because of it, perhaps you would prefer to do without it.

In any case, I doubt your child will be traumatized either way. As long as you don’t use Santa Claus and his gift bag as a carrot that you dangle in front of your child’s nose every time you want him to go brush his teeth, in short, as long as you don’t blackmail him, there’s no real risk that things go wrong.

The rest is just a matter of beliefs and values: Santa Claus is also the symbol of the consumer society, and perhaps you don’t want to promote this in your little one’s education.

So what do you say to him if you decide not to make him believe in Santa Claus?

First you have to explain to him that some other children believe in the existence of a magical character who distributes gifts around the world on his sleigh, and that this makes them happy. This way he will understand what it is about when the children talk to him about Santa Claus. Everyone has their own beliefs and it is good to respect them.

Finally, you can simply tell him that this period is a time in which we exchange gifts, to please each other, because it is a time of celebration. And so you don’t have to be wise or not all year round to take advantage of it.

In short, you have a blank page in front of you, you can invent anything.

Don’t hesitate to tell me what you decide!

And until then, happy holidays to you!

The kiss,

Your Daronne