Chronicle of a daronne: the hassle of homework at 9pm

Is there anything worse after a tiring day at work, after the rain, after the subway, after dinner, after the kids have gone to bed (the youngest for me)… than having to tackle homework?

HOMEWORK. The teachers definitely have no mercy, they give us tests in physics, mathematics, poetry, sometimes during the night. Well, the thing is, my kids often remember it… the day before. We love it. My children attend middle school: 4th and 6th grade.

Check every evening

Since the beginning of the school year in September, a new mental load has invaded our sweet evenings. Make sure homework is done, review lessons, prepare for tests at… 8.30pm.

Yes, because before we had another job: that of parents of small children (the twins are 3 years old) based on mashed potatoes thrown on the wall, an avalanche of semolina on the floor, a Lego battle and prolonged bedtime rituals. Complicated in all this rush to check the tasks of the adults.

I dream of coming home in the evening and spending 5 minutes on homework in a tidy room with the children washed, combed and happy to see me. But no, this doesn’t exist here. You have to stay behind them, always, always. CHECK.

It’s probably normal, it’s probably the lot of all working parents, but it’s annoying. Mainly because teenagers are reluctant and resist: “It’s okay, I know”, “but the teacher said it was a little test”.

Very often, when my children come to me with the notebook and I begin to question them, I discover that they know nothing. I don’t understand guys, what this new habit is, it has the gift of exasperating me.

“But what is a partitive article??” Maybe they’re hoping I’ll teach them myself. This happens to me with poems, I recite the lines, he repeats the lines and repeats until the indigestible text is completely swallowed. They’re still impressive, but I won’t be able to learn all that.

My children are doing quite well for the moment, my eldest in fourth grade, after a difficult start, is getting back on track. The youngest, in 6th grade, has excellent results despite limited investments, but is more studious than his brother.

But all this at what price? At the cost of evenings of work, Saturday mornings of repeated tests, patience and self-sacrifice, I swear, sometimes I tell myself that we should give ourselves medals.

Sometimes I want to give up “Too bad you’ll get a bad grade”but then I regret it and go back to his office.

Is there a gender gap at school?

I come to another topic. Studies show that girls achieve better results than boys during their school career (Pisa survey).

Are these observed differences related to different learning styles? Are children less attentive in class, less studious, less needy?

I don’t like falling into stereotypes but I believe that girls are actually more inclined to study. The good student syndrome which accompanies us throughout our lives. My boys next door are so casual.

Do it for them

Another question that worries me concerns homework, especially French. How can you not be tempted to do it for them? I tell you this because I find that children (mine) have difficulty with writing and analyzing text.

It is difficult to get them to express their feelings in a text. They don’t have the words to write. The party pooper that I am never forgets to remind him “It’s because you don’t read enough!” I always end up doing things sloppily.

And I’m afraid this is not the right solution. But the fear of a bad grade sweeps everything away. Wouldn’t that be a “snowplow parent” thing? Those who remove every obstacle in their children’s path to prevent them from failing. Not easy.

This post is taken from the weekly newsletter “Le Balagan” by our editor-in-chief Candice Satara. Candice is the mother of four boys ages 2 to 12. To receive it you can sign up for free here.