My son’s lover is hitting on me, what should I do?

Daronne is the queen of not-so-silly advice, covered with a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is again to help a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

My son just started first grade and from the parent-teacher conference I have the impression that his teacher is hitting on me. In reality it is not even an impression, in fact it was she who suggested that we meet outside of school, to “talk about Jean”. Note that there are no problems with my son, who has settled in very well at school.

She also asked me, out of nowhere, if I lived with her mother. I don’t, because we are separated. So it’s pretty clear to me that she’s interested. Except I’m not… For a thousand reasons, starting with the fact that I’m coming out of a long relationship that ended quite painfully.

So I don’t want to go back to a one night stand with someone. Another thing: I don’t like it. I already refused her invitation once but she asked me again… I’m afraid of ruining our relationship by systematically refusing her invitations or simply telling her that I’m not interested. What would I do if she wasn’t my son’s lover… What do you advise?

Lucien

Daronne’s response

My little Lucien,

I read your letter with a chuckle: I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, your situation is delicate.

Are you that attractive?

The first thing that comes to mind: are you sure your son’s lover is hitting on you? I mean, her asking you if you live with your son’s mother could also mean something completely different: maybe your son told her about your separation? Which would explain why she wants to talk about him outside of school hours. Are you such a good-looking man, my Lulu? I don’t know, I don’t know you (and maybe she’s attracted to your personality above all else!) but why would you immediately think that she wants to take you to bed?

Then go and see what it’s all about.

I would therefore advise you to accept his invitation and you will have peace of mind. Or he will actually talk to you about your son, in which case he will bring to your attention a topic about him that you had not noticed, and this will allow you to resolve it. Or he will engage in a much more personal discussion in which there will never be any doubt about your son and… You will have your answer! This will allow you to tell him in a natural and polite way that you are not interested. You are under no obligation to tell him why. You can simply tell him that you do not feel right having a relationship with your son’s lover.

Request an appointment during school hours

If that doesn’t work for you, ask for a meeting during school hours. First thing in the morning before you drop your child off or at the end of the day when you pick him up. I’d be surprised if he turns you down. Go ahead and see what it’s about. If he invites you out, then… maybe he’s really interested. In that case, it’s up to you to tell him you’re not interested, in the same way as above.

Change your school, son

Oh and you know what, if none of these options work for you, change your child’s school, it won’t be easier but it will have the merit of solving the problem! (I’m joking of course).