“I was the most worried”: the first start of the school year as told by parents

In a few days, nearly seven million students will return to nursery or primary schools. For some of them, it will be first school year after several years of awakening under the caring gaze of childcare workers, nannies, carers and/or their parents. This first start of school is an important event for them, but it is also a fundamental stage for all mothers and fathers who see their little one gaining more and more autonomy.

Parents told us about their children’s first return to school. Thank you for your loving testimonies.

The first school year, a big step

This first school year, like all the most important new things for children, is often prepared well in advance by parents. Discussions and readings are often very popular to cheer up the little one… and reassure the family.

Claire, a mother of one, started talking about it with her son during his last year of kindergarten:

A year before he started kindergarten, I started talking to him about the school. I bought a small book about it and read it to him regularly. We also visited the facility together and he was able to discover all the new types of activities that would be offered to him.

In hindsight, I think it did him good, but also me: by preparing him for going back to school, I also prepared myself to loosen up a bit.

But as good as it is, preparation isn’t everything and it doesn’t stop some parents from feeling a little stressed as this big event approaches.

Magali, mother of a child who is now 4 years old, still remembers him:

I am a stay-at-home mother and I took care of my daughter 100% until she started school. In the year before the school year started, I talked to her a little about it so as not to be shocked on the big day. But to tell the truth, between the two of us, I was the most worried: I was afraid that she would not adapt to the community, and above all I was afraid that we would not take enough care of her in particular and that she would often find herself abandoned to herself. This anxiety followed me well after the school year started.

For other parents, it is their children’s attitude that worries them more than the start of the school year itself.

Jennifer’s son is starting school this year and she wonders how he will behave in class:

The three weeks of vacation have not gone well for our son: he is very angry, he scratches, hits and bites, and he sleeps little. As much as we try to make him maintain a rhythm, he is annoyed by not being with his nanny during the day. I hope that this return to school will allow him to find a painting that, apparently, reassures him. In the meantime, good luck, Mistress!

Kindergarten opens, an explosion of emotions for the whole family

When the big day of going back to school finally arrives, the excitement is at its peak and it’s not always the child who is shocked (for better or for worse) by this new phase of his life: his parents are too!

Effy*, proud mother of a little student, remembers this emotional moment very well:

My daughter had been in kindergarten for two years, so the community didn’t scare us, but it was still a big step to take. When the day came, we took a picture of her with her father, she was happy to go to school. Once in class, my daughter was very observant of the others. I stayed with her for a while, showed her some toys, then told her I was leaving. I waited in the hallway, but no, no crying. I went out into the schoolyard and there I was the one who shed a tear. I was very proud of my little girl.

For Bree* too, her daughter’s return to school was an important step, even if a little more tiring:

For my daughter’s first year of school, I was excited and nervous. Emotional because I saw my little girl, not even three years old, close a chapter, and since I’m a stay-at-home mom and she was an only child at the time, I was about to close one, too. Nervous because, personally, I never liked school.

Anyway, in the morning when I dropped her off, as she cried and tried to cling to me and her dad, my throat tightened. When we came to pick her up, she came with a smile on her face, but her eyes were still red and swollen, and that hurt my heart. It took her and me a few weeks to get used to it.

Same thing for Lol’ô*, who seems to have tolerated this day less well than her doll:

On the first day of school my daughter was happy. The lesson was particularly unusual and fun, and the teacher welcomed each child by crouching down, to be at their height, which I found really fantastic. After the introductions, my daughter left me her jacket and her bag, and set off to discover this new mysterious but warm space.

I reassured myself, but when I went out, I realized that I had just lost my little girl, and that in the evening I would find a little girl, already independent… I cried.

A busy day for the child… and for the teacher

Since the beginning of the 2019 school year, children must receive an education from the age of three (the “school of trust” law was promulgated in the Official Gazette on July 28, 2019). While some families prefer to provide this education at home themselves (and will have to obtain authorization to do so starting in 2022), many parents choose to entrust their child to the care of a “mistress” or a “teacher” in a public or private school.

During the first weeks of adaptation, these teachers (whom we cannot thank enough) often act as a buffer between the little ones and their families, and it is not easy!

Julie, who is a “teacher,” sent me some little tips to make the start of the school year go well for everyone.

1 – Don’t “sell out” the school to avoid disappointment

To prepare their child for kindergarten, parents tend to idealize the time they will spend there by telling them that they will have a lot of fun and that they will make lots of friends. The method is understandable but, in reality, it doesn’t work like this:

It is true that the child will have fun at school, but this will not prevent him from being teased by other classmates, from being yelled at, or from having to sit on a bench and listen to the teacher. The best thing is to be honest with him and try to explain to him what a day at kindergarten is really like.

2 – Appear relaxed so that the child is too

Since children are real sponges, she advises parents (as much as possible, of course) to adopt a calm attitude during the big day, even if they are internally consumed by stress:

Children, these curious and fascinating little creatures, feel everything. So if you are stressed the day your little one goes back to school, so will he. It’s like if you were skydiving with a friend, who has been telling you about it for months and says “it’s awesome, you’ll see, we’ll have so much fun”, and now you are in front of the person responsible for harnessing you, you feel that your friend, who you trust completely, well, he or she feels that this kid is average. Would that make you want to jump?

3 – Focus on the essentials and come back later for the details

On the first day of the school year, teachers are often harassed by parents. So, to give them some relief, Julie advises families to wait until they receive the information sheet to fill out to express their comments. Of course, if it’s important information (food allergies, health issues, etc.), don’t hesitate to talk to the teacher about it on day one.

Above all, rest assured! Their job is to welcome children, and none of them will be allowed to drink paint from the neck of the can, nor test their ability to climb the fence of the yard.

*Some of the mothers who testified did so with their nickname

And do you have any memories of this first school year? And if you have children, how was it for them?

Photo credit: thanun note / Unsplash