Letting Your Child Win at Board Games: Good or Bad Idea?

Summer vacations are the perfect opportunity for the family to get together, share quality time, have big dinners in a friendly atmosphere, but also play board games. Even the youngest siblings can join in and take part in these games, such as Bonne Pay, Uno or even Monopoly. While the latter are interested in sharing quality family time, some children take the game very seriously and he wants to win at all costsFaced with so much emotional involvement, some protective parents, moved by their little bichon and driven by the desire not to upset him, begin to play half-heartedly to let him win. But is it a good idea? What could be the psychological consequences for the child involved?

Let your child win: yes, but only for the first few games

Parenting specialists interviewed by our media colleagues To be born and to grow* explain that it is actually necessary let your child win, but not always. For example, during a special family board game night, you should only let him win the first few games.

Why? Because by allowing him to win without him having to see that we have facilitated it, we increase his self-confidence and “armor” him to face future defeats in the short term (against us during playtime) and in the long term (against other children during other games). In fact, having already accumulated several successes in the past, he knows he has the ability to win, and a defeat will not directly alter the value he perceives of himself.

Set an example of a “good player”

In addition to boosting his self-esteem, letting him win from time to time also gives us the opportunity to do so. teach him to lose “well”. Our son learns from the words that are said to him, but also observing the behavior we adopt. In a game where he wins and we lose, we can do it show him how to be a good player through how we react to defeat. In this sense, psychologists argue that it is interesting to highlight our disappointment by putting our failure into perspective, with phrases like: “I would have liked to win”, “I really thought I would win this match! But it doesn’t matter, I will train harder so I can win next time.”

They add that you can also ask your child for help, just to legitimize his abilities and show him.It’s normal to ask others for help when you feel the need : “Could you help me next time?”, “What would you have done if you were in my place?”

Finally, after your defeat, it is also recommended to do this to emphasize the pleasure experienced during the game rather than the result. A board game is made primarily for playing and not just for winning!

Leave him alone to teach him how to lose

The danger with the fact of letting him win systematically, it is so make him believe he is invincible and that he can never be beaten by anyone. In this scenario, the slightest defeat will affect him deeply and shatter his self-esteem.

And parents who are reluctant to let him go because they are afraid of hurting him, know this. bowing to you is easier to digest for him who loses against other children his age:

Since you know the game and have more experience, your child will find it more normal for you to win. When playing against a friend of the same age, your child is comparing himself to a peer and may have difficulty with someone who is better than him.*

To be born and to grow

Also, losing to one of his parents, learn to experience defeat in the conditions most pleasant to him. In fact, you will not take advantage of this victory to tease or belittle him; unlike some children who, due to their immaturity, may show cruelty or insensitivity.