Letter to my ex: “Being with you is being with a coward”

Dear ex,

You called me last week because you were passing through Paris and you wanted to see me, Introduce me to your son and I’ll introduce you to mine. I stupidly said yes, to be the one who no longer has any resentment towards our history, the one who doesn’t care. I also wanted, out of pride, to introduce you to my son. After two sleepless nights spent in all these directions, I finally found clarity, I had to refuse to see you without revealing all this thought to you, I wrote to you:

“Well actually it’s not that simple, to introduce you to my son, I have to talk about it with my husband and I absolutely don’t want to have this discussion with him right now. It’s not like we were always just friends, pfff it complicates life as a responsible adult lol. »

This is what I should have told you:

Eight years ago, the last time we saw each other, I made you a very simple and very clear request: “Forget me, forget my number, my address, my name, disappear from my life. »

Apparently you don’t understand, I’ll explain it to you once and for all because you have no place in my life right nownor ever, just because it gets into your head.

You never had the courage to give us a chance, nor abandon my life completely. You made me believe that I was hurting in our relationship because I decided to stay in it. While I always ended our story by starting another love story, unlike you. For a long time I thought this was love, believe it at all costs, wait, wait until you deign to write to me, to love me, to see me.

Being with you is being with a coward who dares to ignore me then call me whenever he wants, to forget my birthday every year since we met when you were born on the 9th and I was born on the 19th of the same month of the same year, to make fun of my face when I arrive , yes, it’s a feeling that I felt so little during our many antics, to leave me “seen” all night fighting against sleep hoping to see you, without giving news for months to return like a flower ” How is it going ? “. No, that’s not good, idiot, I become a person I can’t stand and don’t recognize when I’m with you, I become weak, introverted, I play a game, when it should be exactly the opposite when I’m alone with the one I love. Because yes, I loved you, too much, too long, too stupidly, I thought one day you would realize it, when not, you continued to treat me like an acquaintance, a sex, a friend, what do I know?

So I’m telling you (again) today, I’m not your friend, I’m not someone you can turn to for news.

To you I am nothing as I have always been, as you are now in my eyes. If you want to hear from me, do like everyone else, go and see what you find on social media, but leave me out and above all leave my son out. Just because I’m conditioned to want your attention doesn’t mean I need it. When you write to me you project me back into this version of myself that I don’t likeI become that young woman again, eyes glued to her cell phone, half asleep at three in the morning waiting, for the thousandth time, for a message or a call that will never arrive, oh yes, three months later: ” How is it going ? “

Next time I’ll leave you in “seen”I make a promise to this little girl I was, in 2006, when I fell in love with you and I thought it would be something epic.

Kind regards, I wish you to be happy, you are a coward, but not a bad guy.

The one you never (really) had.

Read also: "You called me by your ex's name in front of your friends" : what Aurélie should have said to her ex

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