Have you ever met a conversational narcissist? The 11 signs that do not deceive

Who has never found themselves stuck faced with the dead-end monologue of a speaker who has little concern for his listeners? If this applies to you, you may have crossed paths with a conversational narcissist. In a recent article, the American media Good + good lists the signs that allow you to identify them, and above all to get rid of them to preserve your mental health.

These 11 signs you’re dealing with a conversational narcissist

“A conversational narcissist is excessively self-centered and continually turns the discussion on himself to promote himself or his opinions.” explains psychotherapist and neuroscience professor Brian Tierney to the American media. The expert specifies that it is not a mental disorder that can be diagnosed in the same way as, for example, a narcissistic personality disorder, but rather a behavioral pattern that resembles a personality trait.

However, the expert lists eleven indicators that allow you to recognize a conversational narcissist to better protect yourself from it:

• This person loses interest in the conversation when you share your experience
• She feels compelled to redirect the conversation towards her
• He regularly gives unsolicited advice
• He shares endless rants about his life
• He rarely asks questions or shows real curiosity towards you
• Doesn’t take the time to build authentic connections
• When confronted, his listener feels inert and bored
• Constantly interrupts others
• He often tries to “outdo” other people
• Does not respect the other’s limits, asking indiscreet questions
• Has difficulty understanding other people’s points of view

How to respond to a conversational narcissist

Because a conversation with someone listening to themselves talk can be very tiring, even frustrating, Good + good He then interviewed a panel of researchers and psychotherapists in order to draw up a list of solutions to implement.

Redirect the conversation towards yourself

In these types of situations, there is no harm in regaining control of the situation by redirecting the conversation towards yourself, with a phrase like “well you had an eventful weekend! For my part, I did this and that…”. The sprinkler watered.

Don’t be afraid to be direct

Another option, when your redirection efforts aren’t working: Tell your interlocutor clearly that you’d like to insert one. At best, he will laugh about it and admit that it takes up all the space. In the worst case scenario, the conversation will stop dead. But is it really that terrible?

Use the "Grey Rocking" method.

This technique consists of not engaging and remain almost stoic / without reaction. It's a safe bet that your interlocutor will quickly get bored if you don't give him the attention he requires, plenty of it. Good + good.

Move up

When you're short on time, it's best to let it be known from the start to effectively frame the conversation and avoid falling into a dead-end tunnel, according to Well+Good.

Set limits

This is useful, especially when the interlocutor is engaged in a condescending or patronizing tirade. “Explain to them that you will happily continue this conversation as long as they are respectful.”agrees Katherine Danley, a licensed clinical social worker. “And if they can't, stop the conversation.”

Protect yourself and know when it's time to go

“If positive change doesn't happen, don't blame yourself, don't feel responsible, and don't invest more in the relationship than you can. You have the right to leave » Remember Good + good. This in no way says that you are a bad person, only that you have a survival instinct and that certain patterns, if repeated, can be particularly tiring.

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