Help, my mother-in-law introduces women to my partner behind my back!

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice, covered with a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to help a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I have been in a relationship with my partner for four years and we live together. We don’t come from the same social background. He comes from a big family, I don’t, but I didn’t think it was a problem, it’s 2024, dammit and I’m totally financially independent, I have a “nice job”. I was wrong !

My boyfriend’s mother has always been mean to me. She doesn’t accept that her son is with a girl like me. She had always dreamed of him having a relationship with a woman from her circle, a woman whose family she would know, at least by her name. At first he was very tense and I was getting nervous. My boyfriend had difficulty defending me, according to him I should have simply ignored the attacks and I had to threaten him to leave. Eventually, his mother accepted the status quo and now our relationship is cordial and we only see each other at official family gatherings.

I know she continues to drool over me whenever she can, and on several occasions has even offered to introduce him to girls who are more “suitable for him”. Every day I rejected them, but after a recent visit they never passed there, my mother invited him to dinner with one of these women (the friend of her parents) for those who you can learn to know. My boyfriend told me this when he got home, kind of as a joke. Like, “Guess what my mom did again?” »

Hearing this, I told him that it was too much, that I refused to go back there and that I expected him to do more than just laugh, that he was bothering me. For him I let his mother win and add more, even though it should be out of my control. He asks me to understand him: his position is delicate and he suffers from this situation as much as I do.

What do you think ?

Sandra

Daronne’s response

My little shovel,

It’s like a fairy tale, don’t you think? A vicious and jealous stepmother wants to distract the handsome prince from his true love. To avoid this, the princess will have to double her wits to neutralize her rival.

Anything goes and from there you have every right to refuse to see her, even if you know it will work against you. This woman will surely take advantage of this absence to realize her dark designs.

These evil attempts would not matter if we lived in a world where humans had free will and the ability to use their mouths to say “Stop,” “No,” “Stop now!” “. Or at least if we lived in a world where men didn’t view violent attacks as pointlessly hair-raising, just because they’re perpetrated by women.

Would our childhood fairy tales have had a different ending if the principles for which we shoot each other had not been so cowardly and superficial?

Hello boy? Here is the earth, return, you are flying!

Contrary to what your boyfriend seems to believe, his situation is much more comfortable than yours. His two favorite people are fighting for his love, it’s very rewarding. Especially because he now has a backup plan if things go wrong. I understand that even in his place I really wouldn’t want to intervene. But you know me:” Gna-gna-gna, there aren’t 36,000 ways to be a good person, gna-gna-gna“.

I honestly think his position is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, when we know that one person is harming another and we do nothing, we are complicit. Even if that person is our mother.

She has no choice: she must accept that you no longer want to see her for the time being and make sure that her mother does not harm you in the future. If she doesn’t, no matter what you throw at her, he will be the one to prove her mother right. And you’ll need to know that things won’t get better with time, even if that means taking necessary steps.

I’m leaving you, I have an appointment with my in-laws, we have to plot against their son.

The kiss,

Your Daronne

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