Are you also tired of scolding your children?

Priscille Prétot is a nurse and mother of 5 children. In her book “Overwhelmed but happy mom! »(Edizioni Solar), she shares her moods and her little tips to make everyday life easier and stop worrying. Extract.

“This is what goes through my mind while I’m stuck in traffic and crying like a big baby, mascara dripping everywhere, snot too. Plus I can’t even get the bag out the back to save my dignity with a tissue. All I have to do is wipe my runny nose in my sweater sleeve. However, it’s a habit that I gave birth at the same time as my first child! There aren’t enough handkerchiefs for all these noses or rather, too much on my mind to think about carrying handkerchiefs everywhere (except for my mother-in-law, who is the queen of handkerchiefs. Even while diving she would think about it).

Priscille Prétot, author of “Overwhelmed but Happy Mom”, you can find her on her Instagram account @depasseemaisheureuse

Live my life as a brat

So I had to develop techniques to ward off all forms of snot. You have the same ones, right? The bodysuit, the t-shirt, the tea towel, the sleeve (my favorite) or the inside of the skirt (what a shame!). I even have a friend who told me, years later, that she saw me blowing my daughter’s nose with the lapel of my bridesmaid dress! Well, at the same time we had to save the honor for the wedding photos, you can’t let the mucus ruin the album. Come on, I’ll blow my nose on my sleeve, stop bothering you with everything that’s wrong with my bratty life, and try to focus on what’s right. But it’s so hard…

The best is the enemy of the good

It’s hard because I’m tired, because for years I feel like I’ve been trying to make things better at home. I feel like I’m carrying it on my shoulders the good atmosphere inside the house. To do everything to make everyone feel good, to always put myself last (but I take care of myself, I assure you). And these are the Roller coaster. I feel like I’m getting a lot better and then after a while I completely collapse and explode and scream. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, I’m terribly angry at myself for yelling, so of course I ask for forgiveness (once I calm down, eh, I’m not a robot either!).

And that morning, while I was driving, I had only one thought: “ There’s no way I could have yelled at them that much This morning it really doesn’t make sense to everything I’m trying to implement to make everything better at home. » By “everything” I mean the hours of discussions with my husband about how to communicate better with our children, all the nonviolent communication techniques that I regularly learn and am determined to apply, all the moments when I try to fill their emotional reserves , welcoming their emotions, making room for mine too, taking time to fill my little inner vessel, etc.

You can’t know the number of books I have devoured, the number of training courses attended, the discussions on the topic… I have the impression of

see everything done. My husband often reassures me. He repeats to me:

And I have a feeling it’s the same with you. That I could definitely tell you the same thing.

Dear mother who reads to me,

I’m sure you love your children more than anything, I’m sure you are doing your best for them. And whenever you have regrets, I want to tell you that you definitely did your best. We don’t control everything. Not everything depends on us. It’s not about saying: “I’m at the top, I don’t have to change anything in my life anymore. » No, it’s just denial, we always have adjustments to make. We can all improve. Don’t live pretending but be honest with yourself. Try this good old formula: “I really believe I did my best, but I can’t spend my life looking back: for tomorrow morning, which will be a new day, what can I fix? »

Courage and kisses.

Crossing forests

That day, still in the car, this image came to me. We all have a little internal compass, but we rarely (or don’t) take the time to listen to it.

Sometimes I walk in the woods with my children (it happened that I went for walks without my husband because I had permission and he didn’t, and I assure you that when he is there the route is much more studied and the probability of getting lost is almost zero). Sometimes it’s just with friends (who have a sense of direction as bad as mine but who I love with love), our children and me. One day it took us a long time to get close to the clearing where we wanted to go for a picnic. There were a lot of mistakes, a lot of wasted time (uh, is it wasted if we had fun?), we didn’t get there right away, but we got there.

It’s decided! This is the image I want to keep for my life as a mother.

Ok, I screwed up today. I can’t wait for tonight to be able to ask them for forgiveness (ideally it would be before school, they’ll have a better day, and so will we!). But while I’m not perfect, I’m also no longer the mother from the beginning. I made a lot of changes, I learned, I grew, I got better. Over time I become a better mother. And my kids can see that I’m trying to make things work better for all of us.

Our children see!
They don’t need us to be perfect! They need
let’s tell the truth! Honest with ourselves and with them.

Knowing how to recognize reality and start from scratch. Here you are. This is also how they learn to do it. It is very difficult for a child who has never heard his parents apologize to apologize himself. »

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