It’s easy to complain about parents (and especially mothers) who have to change diapers on the floor in libraries, restaurants, on trains or planes. It’s easy to roll your eyes every time a child enters a train in his parents’ arms, because you know he’ll make noise on the ride. It’s easy to let out loud, loud sighs that make those they’re intended for uncomfortable when you hear kids making noise in a restaurant. Really, it’s easy to be a buffalo (stay polite). It is also very easy to tend towards childishness, adultism and individualism.
And what is less so? Changing mentality and adapting to a society that is behind and out of step. However, there is an emergency, for the good of everyone, even those who have nothing to do with parenting.
Let’s not put the child in a corner
A few days ago on his Instagram account, Cédric Rostein, author of the podcast engaged Patriarchateposted an image of her baby being forced to change on the front desk of a store Castorama. Why did you have to change your newborn’s diaper in a space absolutely not intended for this? Simply because there were no changing tables in the bathrooms, neither for women nor for men. A family-friendly store, where you can buy something to redecorate a child’s room and splurge on very Instagrammable decor, had not yet included families in the store’s bathrooms, although it was intended for everyone. .
While this anecdote may seem outdated to those without children, it is nevertheless terribly emblematic of our society: France is not suitable for children and families, and it is painful.
It is painful for parents, who always have to use their imagination to, in this specific case, find somewhat hidden places to change their child’s diaper, but it is also painful for those who fall, at the turn of a beam, onto the private baby parts or the smell of a dirty diaper. Nobody likes it, really. So what do we do? We ask society to find solutions, because we really have many.
Children are persona non grata
If you think it’s like this everywhere, and that it’s up to parents to get involved, I recommend you take a trip to the Scandinavian countries. There children are part of society. On trains, in restaurants, in hotels, in public places: children are welcome. And do you know why? Because they are considered human beings, like the others. Smaller, louder, less aware of social conventions and norms, but still human beings.
Small example of trains in Finland:
When we see that a debate opens in France to decide whether to create restaurants or hotels forbidden to children, we can tell ourselves that, as human beings, we are completely on the wrong path. Transposing the word “child” with “elderly” or “racialized person”: this tickles the morals a bit, doesn’t it? Don’t you think it’s simply indecent to imagine that we can simply exclude some part of the population because it doesn’t meet the standards?
Yes, children, most of the time, are noisy. They run, laugh loudly, cry, play, their fingers stick together. But society will have to integrate this obvious fact: children are citizens, like everyone else. Their rights are already violated enough that we want to exclude them. Not to mention that, when we want to banish a child from public space, in reality it is also the responsible parent that we ask to remove. And who, in most cases, meets kids in public spaces? Mothers. Great, plus it’s sexist. Nice combination.
No, it wasn’t better “before”
It is urgent that society takes a big step forward when it comes to children. As for the far-fetched and entirely reactionary argument we often hear, i.e. “ children are poorly educated, parents are not strict enough, they let everything happen, me in my time…. “Enough. Cookie-cutter judgments, based on a time when things were very different in many ways, are neither valid nor audible.
Stop comparing what isn’t, to compare a time when physically abusing children to “train” them was commonplace and totally normalized. Obviously a child who is afraid of being beaten by his darling in front of everyone knows how to remain silent more easily. Does it help him grow peacefully? To make him a decent adult? No, stop this bullshit. “The children were calmer then”. But what era are we talking about, exactly? We need to put what needs to be put into the context that accompanies it.
Many people have forgotten that they were children too. However, without wanting to give wet-fingered figures, we can safely say that 100% of the adults were children. So a little tolerance and perspective, thank you very much, we shouldn’t have too short memories.
Society must change and adapt
Children (and parents) are not welcome in society, that’s a fact. The lack of nursery schools, the failure to adapt public spaces to the little ones, everyone’s judgments on how to raise a child, the slaps given to those who breastfeed without hiding… The list is long.
However, some things could be put in place to give relief to everyone: trains with a carriage transformed into a playroom to entertain children and not disturb the other passengers, mandatory changing tables (as well as small toilets for children who are starting to take off) diapers) in all toilets, crayons and coloring pages available in all restaurants… Reduced waiting times for parents in queues to avoid making impatient children scream their heads off, game tables at the entrances of shops for children they can wait peacefully while they play while their parents go shopping… It’s not complicated, it’s not the one that costs the most, and this would reassure everyone. Children, parents and all other individuals who gravitate around.
It is not a question of giving a “free gift” to parents and children, but simply of giving them the opportunity to be considered the same as all other citizens. Children are not inferior to others, they are equal. It is normal to take them into consideration and adapt society to them too.
Aside from everything that needs to be done, from the government’s perspective, to facilitate the full integration of parents and children into society, some easily applicable measures would allow everyone to find a path to recovery. So when do we start?
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
