“There is no cruelty more terrible than the cruelty inflicted by a woman on a man who loves her but whom she does not love; In his novel “The Moon and a Penny”, Somerset Maugham wrote, “there is no longer any kindness or tolerance left in him, only a wild resentment.” So, are it only the lovers who suffer? Even the kindest girl puts an end to “young Werther’s sufferings” He has to resort to various tricks to avoid giving in. Maybe we are doing something wrong? We have learned how to politely reject an obsessive fan.
Don’t give false hopes
Sometimes, when we act coldly towards young people, we unknowingly create interest in ourselves. They become passionate about winning the Snow Queen’s heart at any cost.
Decline meetings
It is convenient for him to meet you after work and take you home or bring you fresh coffee, but at closer distance you will feel uncomfortable. In this situation, it is important to be honest with yourself. If you don’t like a fan, you should stop accepting signs of interest. Refuse employment, citing meetings and other plans. Otherwise, it will turn out that you are sending contradictory signals, playing “hot and cold”, which will be perceived as coquetry.
Answer dry
If you are truly in love with a man, get ready to listen to his stories about his childhood, his personal plans and experiences in life. Out of empathy or courtesy, you will really want to join these conversations, ask clarifying questions, and provide support. And if you really want to continue being with him, do this. And for those who need a serum against love, steely endurance and dry responsiveness will come in handy. No unnecessary emotions or clarifying questions.
Set clear communication boundaries
If a classmate, childhood friend or colleague is courting you, you can find a formal excuse. Communicate only about work. Use business language. Provide concise answers in correspondence and conversations on your smartphone. To avoid involving him in your affairs, do not share anything personal. Show him that you are “my friend” or “my colleague”, then he will see that you do not want others to perceive you as a couple.
Say your heart is full
Don’t be afraid to be a whore in his eyes. In any case, he will be angry that his feelings are not reciprocated. It is better not to delay the explanation, so that he does not have an extra reason to take out his anger on you. The important thing is to choose the right place, time and words. If there is grief in his family or there are problems at work, it is better to postpone the conversation until he calms down. Also, even if you feel safer, you should not discuss this sensitive topic in front of strangers. Say you’re already in love with someone else.
“This is not about you”
Explain that the reason you can’t be together is not because someone is bad, but because they just have different personalities. Accept the scientists’ version of stigma and say that the person is nothing like your mother or father.
sweeten the pill
Be sure to praise the person for their courage and honesty, and also thank them for their interest, but don’t get carried away: don’t let them take the conversation as a green light.
I’m leaving
And finally, do not offer the person a friendship format. On the contrary, burn all bridges. Say that you are now just colleagues or acquaintances. Don’t like his posts or call him if you’re feeling lonely. Otherwise you will be like a dog in a manger; neither to yourself nor to others. Move into a new relationship. In any case, your fan will need time to accept and calm the storm of emotions.
Source: People Talk
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
