How do you know you’re in love? If at first glance it seems simple, the interviewees all begin by underlining the difficulty of the question.
What differentiates the feeling of love other emotions we feel for those close to us? Wish? Admiration?
Certainly many thinkers have already questioned the question… But we wanted to read your answers. Here is a sweet selection for this February 14th.
Premonitory dreams
Twelve readings by Dusk Obviously Morgane* spent her adolescence dreaming of falling in love. But according to adolescent stories, the much hoped for feeling doesn’t arrive… Until a funny dream :
“At 17 I was convinced that love wasn’t for me. I dreamed of an artichoke heart and I didn’t fall in love. Jealous to the extreme of my loved ones and their passionate stories, I listened, embittered, to the twists and turns that marked these lives, much more exciting than mine.
History, of course, proved me wrong. Initially disturbed by the mischievous gaze of someone shyer than me, One night I dreamed that we were having breakfast together in a kitchen flooded with light. Between us, two cups of steaming coffee produced arabesques that the air and the sun made twirl. Happy, we looked at each other without speaking, my hand in his.
The next morning I was in love… This intrusion into my sleep had shocked me. »
The awareness that it is in love it doesn’t come alone, and surprise: this feeling it doesn’t match at all what had we sold him!
“Between devotion, heartbreak and transcendence, the program didn’t seem easy. Finally, far from the panic I had anticipated, falling in love made me feel levitating, confident, and a little drugged by all these marshmallow feelings. »
Feeling bad for the other
For Luna* the feeling of love presents itself both in the present and through the ability to do so imagine, in the future, with your loved one:
“I think I knew I was in love when it physically hurt to imagine being separated from that person; but also when I realized that I was as natural as when I am with my family. And then, the rest of the world had lost color, and the others had become very small next to this person…
In my minifilms and mental scenarios, in my life plans, and it was always him I imagined at my side. There, I knew I was in love! »
Laughing (much) too hard
Noémie* has difficulty expressing her feelings, even to herself. In her case, the feeling of love is not not a conscious realization, but rather a discovery:
“ I’m not a great sentimentalist: for me the boundary between a person with whom I like to spend time in friendship and the feeling of love is fleeting. That said, there is one clue that never fools me: my laugh reaches 12 decibels and gets really stupid when I’m in love.
Surprisingly, my humor is the first organ touched by love: it is often when I feel myself laughing like a goat that I realize that I am not indifferent to the person in front of me. »
Going to bed at crazy times
Noémie is not the only one who can deny her feelings for a moment: this is also the case with Caroline* who tends to realize that she is in love when she wakes up exhausted in the morning… Due to senseless diversions and postponed awakenings.
“ In general, I tend to hide it from myself, and especially from the person concerned. But I quickly realize that I would like to spend all my time with this person, which leads me to do pretty much everything. Taking detours just to meet her, going to bed at crazy hours to spend a little more time together…
Well ok, this aspect ends as time passes, since I need to sleep! »
Feeling like it’s mutual
For Marlène*, reciprocity is important in this feeling. Also understand each other.
«I would say it’s a cocktail of many things: we have a lot of fun together, I admire many things about this person… It also comes through I feel like it’s mutual and that we are on the same wavelength. It’s smooth and easy. »
You feel like you’re back in college
If until now the feeling of love has been described as a pleasant and uplifting feeling, Emmeline* offers a different story:
“Frankly I like myself average when I’m in love, I have the impression that another person who doesn’t look like me at all has taken over my body and is trying to confuse my life 1000, especially at the beginning of the crush/realization of feelings.
Is always this feeling of permanent nervousness when the person I like is around. I’m ready to leave at any moment, I laugh at anything and everything, I stutter, I overreact to everything and I look at myself, almost out of body, internally screaming: “You’re doing what there, GIRL? WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY? FEMINISM? MEGAN YOUR STALLION WILL BE ASHAMED OF YOU”
There are people who say “No, but when I’m in love I can move mountains, it gives me energy”. I would like an explanation, a way to do it, a DIY guide, anything. How do these people do it?!
I lose attention, I get distracted at work, I listen less to my friends, I stare into space and I become absolutely useless as soon as someone talks to me about someone else. I always feel like I’m back in college… »
The three unmissable signs that show you are in love
Camille*, for her part, has a real theory about the distinctive signs of love, and she summarizes it into three parties:
“When I was asked the question, I told myself that the best indicator is when you realize that you want to be with her or him even at times when you don’t want to be with anyone. But at the same time it also works when you are with loved ones…
In my case there is 3 signs that make me understand that I’m in love.
First, when you are with this person, you don’t feel the need to wear some kind of mask, you feel like you can be yourself. We can present ourselves to others as we are calmly, with our defects, in a light that is not the best…
The second sign is the desire to share the other’s life: his bad moments are yours, as are the victories. There is a feeling that as long as you are with this person, everything will be fine. He won’t stop everything, but there is a reassuring presence that brings serenity into one’s life.
The third sign, which makes us fall in love with someone, is an instinct: the fact of feeling in harmony with the other, of not feeling in a relationship of domination or competition, of feeling that the other is part of oneself… And it’s very beautiful! »
Reading you, it would seem that there are as many ways of being in love as there are combinations of people… And so much the better! Over to you: what is your definition of butterflies in the stomach?
Photo credit: Anna Shvets / Pexels
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Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
