“Everything seems to flow naturally until he takes off his underwear”: the worst holiday sex

Anna and her Very bad quartet

Ten years ago I went with a friend to visit Thailand. After a week we arrive in Chiang Mai, where we share a private room, but each with a double bed. As soon as we arrived, my friend asked me out for a drink.

There are many travelers like us. This is how we meet Sébastien at the bar, a Frenchman with the appearance of an adventurer and his travel friend James, very British, very clean with him.

After a few drinks, what was supposed to happen happened: I stuck my tongue down handsome Sébastien’s throat while James and my friend mimed clothed sexual acts on the dance floor.

Naturally we decide to bring our two beautiful children back to our room. To hell with modesty, we will have fun side by side in our respective beds ! On my way, you still have to find condoms, which is a mission because we don’t speak Thai and no one has an internet connection on their cell phone to know where to direct us. After an hour of wandering around, we finally find an open grocery store where the seller smiles at us at the sight of our only purchase at the checkout.

When we FINALLY reach our room, my panties have turned into an aquarium and our plan to make love “bedside” turns into a wild foursome… Everything seems to flow naturally until James takes off his underwear, revealing his beautiful virile member and faced with this scandalous vision, Sébastien appears disgusted and cowardly:

“Since that’s the case, I’m out. »

My friend and I are a little disgusted, but mostly drunk. We are hungry for sex so we very naturally decide to ignore this scene and continue a threesome with James without sparing a glance at poor Sébastien who puts his shoes back on.

Except there’s a detail I hadn’t specified before: my girlfriend doesn’t speak English very well, and that to coordinate the act it is sometimes necessary to communicate. So I find myself translating as naturally as possible to my friends questions like “Can I masturbate on your tits?” » OR “I like it when you suck me”.

I won’t be able to give any further details because, once again, the alcohol made everything very confusing. The situation was funny, but the donkey had no particular talent. Too bad, it remains a beautiful memory with my friend!

Sexy Ireland

This sex thing didn’t happen to me specifically, but it happened to me while I was staying in a youth hostel in Ireland a few years ago.

That night, I have pain, but then a terrible stomach ache. I digested my dinner poorly and, after holding back the gas as best I could to save the sense of smell and hearing of the eleven people sharing the same dormitory as me, I went to the bathroom.

Here, it’s symphonic carnage that hits you in the face. I literally empty myself. Suddenly, in the bathroom next to mine, I hear a boy moan in English:

“Oh no, is this a joke? »

Not understanding the situation, and without any real alternative, I continue my diarrhea, when an arm passes under the wall of my cabin, grabbing my calf.

“Can you go somewhere else?” We’re fucking here! »

Stunned and knowing what else to say, I couldn’t help but say “sorry.” After all, the flood passed and I finished my business. One final little fart, flushed the toilet and I was back in my room.

The story does not say whether my departure allowed this couple to resume their business, but the scent of my exploits probably had an impact on their performance.

Leïla, her lover and her roommate’s cat

A few years ago, my lover Armand suggested that I come and spend a few days of vacation at his house, not far from Marseille. LThe program seemed perfect : visit to the coves, evenings with friends and then, obviously, wild sex.

As soon as I got off the train I texted him to find out where he was (he promised to pick me up), but he told me he was late. So I wait at the bar for three interminable hours, when I see him arrive destroyed. Then he explains the situation to me: his roommate’s cat, which is usually not allowed outside, ran out of his window, on the ground floor overlooking the courtyard, while he was airing his room. The aforementioned roommate left for the weekend and he explained to me, scared, that he had spent the day looking for the cat.

When he arrived at his house, Let’s take a quick tour of the owner, but in reality we don’t find the cat, so we choose another activity to pass the time (sex). There I was, riding it with passion when, without any passage, I looked up and saw a young girl passing through the window and shouting:

“Armand!” Where’s my cat? Have you lost my cat? »

Our looks exchange, I see this young lady with her mouth wide open, I feel my partner’s penis immediately lose erection. And there I see a cat, THE cat, coming through the window and rushing towards his bowl.

It turns out that my lover had sent a panicked text to his roommate that he had returned to pick up his cat, forgetting to specify that he had invited a friend over for the weekend.

We could have taken it as a joke, but I thought it was too much, so I packed my bags, called a friend who also lived in Marseille, and had a wonderful vacation away from him, without ever receiving an apology or hearing from him. he. Good luck !

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