Help! I sleep with my famous crush but I’m married!

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice, covered with a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to help a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

Ever since I was a teenager I have had a passion, although I can’t say what it is. At the time, I developed a huge crush on one of the “rising stars” in this field. Most people don’t even know him by name, but he’s a star in our industry. I read everything about him, I found him intelligent, funny and very sexy (to be honest I even dreamed that he was “my first”). This crush never left me, but I grew up and started dating guys, then I fell in love with my husband.

I ended up working in the field of my passion. I was recently entrusted with a professional mission and had to collaborate with this crush. Imagine my state, when I met him, I went back to adolescence. It’s even more beautiful in person. We don’t have the opportunity to see each other much, but one evening we all went out together, his team and mine. I don’t know what came over me, but after one drink (ok, two) I confessed my crush to him and then… he gave me his number and suggested I call him if I wanted. His intentions were very clear.

My husband and I are exclusive and it has never been a problem for me. I love him and I love our life together, our routine and our slightly crazy plans. But this proposal shocked me… I’m not looking for anything serious with this man, I know it wouldn’t suit me. But I dreamed about it my entire teenage years and my entire adult life. Having this in mind has never interfered with my life as a couple, but this awareness calls everything into question.

Help!

Anonymous

My little burning bush,

I would love to be in your place, I have crushes on some celebrities that I would burn my soul for. But I also wouldn’t want to be in your place because it’s particularly uncomfortable. And it will remain that way, whatever your decision.

It is not for nothing that some exclusive couples choose one or more celebrities with whom they have the right to sleep despite everything. One of my friends noticed the witcher there. The chances of the occasion arising are extremely low, as it involves Henry Cavill agreeing to put on his wig and run for several kilometers in the middle of a Dodger so that the visual and olfactory illusion is complete. And for that, you still have to meet Henry Cavill and please Henry Cavill.

But let’s imagine the stars align. Can go. Even if it leads to disappointment.

Fantasy is not welcome in reality

The bathroom scene in The Witcher has haunted us enough to make us forget that it only takes place once, even though the story spans decades. I don’t bet much on a sexual relationship with someone who washes every fifty years.

I believe that what we see on television does not reflect the sensorial reality of the much hoped for rapprochement. Being pressed against a tree causes a pain in the back and, from an anatomical point of view, this position seems very unconducive to fluid and passionate intercourse. Often, the wild man who smells like mistral in our imagination is actually a guy who smells like onions and keeps his dirty socks on during missionary.

Believe me, no one wants to fulfill their fantasies. It’s a guaranteed disappointment. And then, who can you think of to liven up your everyday life? Nobody. You will have purely and simply destroyed the dream that kept you alive.

Snort once in real life with a random guy or mentally experience crazy eternal passion with a tailor-made man, my choice is made.

Let’s not confuse banal stories with incredible adventures

This title is quite offensive, isn’t it? But it’s done on purpose. As I explored the human psyche week after week, I came to the following conclusion: There is a gifted storyteller in each of us.

I don’t know if we are a particularly creative species, or a particularly immature one, but we like to transform even the smallest mundane event into a complicated and unique story. I get it, realizing that we all go through the exact same things, all the time, and that our challenges are those of millions of other couples, is galling.

However, the only thing that differs between your problem and that of millions of other couples is the identity of the person you have a crush on. Having itchy panties over someone other than your longtime boyfriend is a common occurrence. If I allow myself to point this out to you, it is not to demoralize you. On the contrary, I want to help you understand the situation for what it really is (common and manageable), and not for the perception you have of it (a forbidden passion that no one can understand). So, don’t hesitate to ask for advice from someone close to you who has already been there.

Talk about it with your boyfriend

Le Daron and I talk very freely about our famous favorites. She knows all my TV crushes, in order of likeability. She also notifies me when she comes across a trailer for a movie or series starring one of her crushes. So I think that if I were in your situation, I would explain the situation to him and also count on his help (being careful not to tell him details that could hurt him). In our case, I think we would desecrate the situation, make questionable jokes and take the opportunity to take stock of our desires as a couple.

I know that here there would be no problem of taking action. But in others, where the exclusivity slider is not positioned in the same place, why not consider a deal? For example, you could each have a penknife in the contract, to be defined according to clear rules.

Finally, and to set the record straight, giving in to temptation without your boyfriend’s consent would be very bad. It would even be very, very bad. Please know therefore that if, despite my wise advice, you decide to do as you prefer, I completely dissociate myself. And I condemn you – as punishment – to carry this heavy secret in silence until the end of your days and to feel VERY GUILTY, without your boyfriend being forced to give up his relationship for a slightly strange relationship with your adult self, l teenager you were and this imaginary man.

I’ll leave you, I’m going to watch The Bear, it’s the story of a tattooed chef with sad blue eyes.

The kiss,

Your Daronne

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