Damiana, 43 years old: “I became a feminist without realizing it”

• First name : Damiana
• Age : 43 years old
• Occupation : Performing artist, flautist, singer and radio host
• Place of life : Paris

How would you describe your relationship with feminism?

I think my relationship with feminism is characterized by an unconscious evolution: over the years I have established myself as a feminist without realizing it. I have had to deal with violence since I was little, inside and outside the home… Today I can no longer bear to see a woman submissive and dominated. Raising a hand against a woman disgusts me.

In what context did you grow up?

I grew up in an Eastern Bloc country. I’m an only child and I was always told that I had to be stronger than the boys. I was raised kind of like a tomboy », do a lot of sport, have rigorous work discipline. The women in my family have long navigated between feminism and submission… We lived under a communist dictatorship, in a context where people were afraid of making too much noise, with the secret services keeping files on every citizen.

Eastern women are courageous, they have character, but they retreated out of fear of the regime. Within the family cocoon, divorce was extremely frowned upon, and many women tolerated violence from their spouses so as not to destroy their families.

At what age did you discover feminism?

I had to deal with machismo very early on, both in the playground and at music school, where I learned to play the flute. I suffered a lot of bullying at school from kids. It escalated into violence from ages 6 to 11. After a while I got fed up and reacted as best I could. I was very athletic, so I started picking up. I couldn’t stand injustice, I defended all the shy, chubby girls or those with glasses who were constantly harassed. I played the role of vigilante, defending the cause of the weakest.

At the time, filing a complaint was not an option. We didn’t complain, we didn’t bat an eyelid, we suffered. Morals have changed radically, we no longer live in this era of silence and the unsaid, there is a real awakening of consciences.

My first ” encounter » aware of feminism it might have been a Brazilian telenovela I remember: it was called The slave Isaura and showed the abuse inflicted on a kind and gentle young woman. She disgusted me.

How does feminism permeate your life today?

I am very sensitive to violence against women. I have experienced it, in my family and in my emotional life. It pushed me to develop a certain strength of character, to be combative, but it also meant that I often came across violent people. As if in a relationship we necessarily attract what we have suffered the most from. Unfortunately, I believe we cannot escape the initial pattern.

My first relationship was with a violent boyfriend. It took me a while to understand that you have to start from the first slap and not wait for an improvement that will never come. I have also helped several women to get out of it and accept loneliness at the expense of the violent couple in which they lived.

I also created a radio program on esotericism and in the next issues I expect the appearance of feminist figures who support gender equality. I often attend conferences on the topic and attend women’s music concerts.

Have you let go of certain habits, undone certain beliefs, or set new boundaries?

I no longer allow men to approach me as easily as they once did. I am more wary, I have distanced myself…

I no longer allow those who think they are stronger to establish their dominance. When I was 18, I confronted a teacher who thought he was omnipotent. He wanted to crush me by defaming me for something extremely serious that he had done. At the time I was too young to realize the gravity of the situation. But today I would never let something like that go.

How did those around you welcome your breakthrough?

I find that my feminist point of view is still often a source of friction. Morals are not yet entirely in favor of women, which is why I fight every day, even in everyday life.

Do you feel like you’ve reached the end of your feminist awakening?

NO. We are constantly changing. We have opinions that can evolve or change radically simply because we approach the topic differently or because we meet a person who is in a certain situation.

I think our ideas evolve and advance over time. So if my feminism has always been there, I think my awareness will continue to evolve!