November 23, 2018
There, in my head, I’m on a California highway in a convertible, eating avocado toast and shaking my hair protected by a silk scarf.
But I’m actually freezing my bread in the 10th arrondissement of Paris, and I had a kebab last night.
HERE YOU ARE.
Threesome fantasy
Why am I telling you all this? To tell you real life often differs from our fantasies. Empirically, I can tell you that this statement applies to all areas of life. Especially sex.
I used to consume porn like others go to Franprix. I made a list based on the keywords, then I ran forward, I decided, I did “my shopping” very quickly, I returned home breathless and satisfied with having done so quickly.
From, I stopped ingesting pornographic material as if I were Benoît, the prepubescent teenager who lives in my head.
However, I still venture there every now and then, despite the resolutions I made a few months ago… If you steal my computer, you lovely kleptomaniac reader, you will be able to browse my history as you wish, which I am always too lazy to delete.
Inside, above all you will find the key word Trio.
It is essential to communicate widely with your partner.
Because threesomes, whether they consist of two guys and a girl, two girls and a guy, three guys, three girls and other options… well, in my opinion they are very exciting.
In 2011 I tried the experiment, but it turned out to be very clumsy, almost ridiculous. Instead of warming my butt, it froze it for half an eternity! But I wouldn’t want to fail and thinking of repeating the adventure one day.
Would you like to experience this emotion too? This is what you should know before diving headfirst into this land of butts.
1. Communicating, the key to a threesome
Are you dying to make your fantasy come true, but don’t know how to broach the topic with your partner?
Tyomi Morgan-Najieb, author, sex coach and relationship expert, was interviewed by the magazine Hi Giggles. She explains itIt is essential to communicate widely with your partnerand above all regarding the possibility of (sexual) non-exclusivity within a couple:
“ The “threesome” can be achieved by having an open conversation about sex outside of the relationship. Simply ask your partner what he thinks about threesomes in general, then let the conversation evolve on its own.
Then, ask the other partner how they would feelintegrate a third person into your original duo. It is essential to listen to others and be completely honest about your own desires. »
Finally, as in all areas concerning the couple (and beyond), communication is the key!
2. Choose carefully who will participate in your threesome
In her interview, Tyomi Morgan-Najieb has to answer a key question from her interlocutor:
“ Is it better for couples to turn to an unknown person, or draw on their acquaintances? »
A question that has surely crossed your mind if you’ve ever thought about a threesome! Here’s what the coach thinks:
“ It depends on the couple’s intentions. Are you looking for a regular attendee or just a one night stand? Incorporating an acquaintance risks changing the relationship the couple has with this person. A new question may arise: do we remain friends or enter into a polyamorous relationship? »
Getting into a threesome with someone no one is emotionally attached to can make the desire for a one-night stand easier to fulfill.
She continues:
“ Getting into a threesome with someone no one is emotionally attached to can make the desire for a one-night stand easier to fulfill. »
The moral of this answer? You need to carefully determine with your partner what kind of threesome you want to arrange. Ask yourself if you want something long-lasting or very temporary. The rest should flow by itself!
3. Find partners for a threesome
Here’s what it turned out for me dirty stories of jealousy latereven if we didn’t follow the entire sexual process… At the end of my experience, it was already clear that if the table had to be restarted, it would have been with a complete stranger.
Yes, but then Where do we find these famous mystery partners? First, there are several apps and websites created to find them, for example Listen, 3Way or #Open.
On some more traditional dating sites, users can refine their searches. OkCupid, for example, offers to integrate these preferences into your profile. Obviously it is also possible to find partners by registering on groups, forums or simply by participating in parties.
Well, in the end it’s about daring to propose. In the worst case scenario, what do you risk? A refusal? Not bad.
And if you want to know more, Anouk Perry wrote an entire article titled Where can I find people with whom I can make my desire for a threesome (or more) come true?.
4. Set your boundaries before your threesome
As I explained to you before, fantasy and reality are two very different things. It’s rare that an experience turns out to be exactly what we had in mind.
So, the desire to be penetrated by two men, for example, can disappear completely once the moment arrives. In the end you may prefer simple kisses and some tender caresses.
feel free to communicate your precise desires, before AND during the act! Simply express to your partners that your desires have changed and you’d rather stick with something that makes more sense.
You can already set limits in advance. For example :
- I don’t want a finger in my ass
- I don’t want to do rimming
- I don’t like cunnilingus
- Please don’t bite my knee
Tyomi Morgan-Najieb would also like to clarify:
“ Psychological safety is as important as physical safety (e.g. condom use). »
You would have understood: you are the master of your desires, and integrating a third person into your usual couple doesn’t change the situation. You set the limits, your partners will set theirs.
It’s up to you to listen to yourself, respect yourself and that no one leaves this experience with regrets!
5. Minimize small trio flops
Sex, in my opinion, should be fun.
Let’s take my case. I’m a left-wing person, generally uncomfortable with coordination of movements. So any piano, guitar or even hip-hop type activity is pretty much off limits for me. However, I think I’m doing pretty well in terms of wrinkled torrid.
I like to believe I’m a “good guy”, even though several experiences have shown me that a “good guy” can turn out to be very bad if paired with the wrong partner. And so a “good shot” is not really a person but rather a successful sexual encounter between different individuals who encounter.
In my daily life, I encounter also great with my partner, who has been the same for years! However, failures happen.
The important thing is not to dramatize the little ones fails but on the contrary, knowing how to laugh about it.
By this I don’t mean a twisted leg, a broken brake or a Kinder sodomy, but simply the small daily failures, during which we bang, fart, yawn and fall out of bed…
The main thing, in my opinion, is to do it Don’t dramatize these little ones fails but on the contrary GIVE US BACK. This rule applies to two as well as 3 or 12. Sex should be a time of pleasure, not embarrassment or shame.
So here we are, let’s throw away our complexes and have some great fun!
Threesome with several strangers
I’ve told you a lot about integrating a third person into your love relationship with your partner. But it is possible that you are single and that you want to share a threesome moment not with one or one, but with two partners you already know… or not!
In my opinion the keys to making this experience a success remain the same. You need to communicate, set limits, choose your partners carefully and, above all, ABOVE ALL, insist on the indisputable dimension of using the hood.
The wise advice of this coach would have almost made me want to try the adventure a second time… And you, ready to try plurality?
Photo credit: Cottonbro (Pexels)
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
