My boyfriend dresses badly, help!

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice, covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to save a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I’m in a relationship with a great guy and everything is going well, but there’s one detail that bothers me: I hate his style. We met at work six years ago, we were in uniform and I fell in love with him. We were young, his shitty, laid-back baba style bothered me less.

Six years later, he’s still wearing the same faded shirts with questionable designs that have taken on a slightly dated look, his baggy canvas pants, his stained sweatshirts… And do I need to tell you about his tap shoes? ? I tried to tell him about it and he tells me he doesn’t care. Style doesn’t interest him.

I don’t care too, but when we go out, especially with colleagues, I feel a little ashamed and I wonder what people will think of him: how to get him to change his wardrobe, or at least make an effort to look less neglected?

Help me!

He knows

Daronne’s answer

My little croissant,

I thought your question was simple and I wanted to answer you like this: let this poor man dress as he wants, you would like us to criticize your look, right? As this answer was in one line and not enough, I asked for opinions around me. And I was not disappointed, even if it meant spending much more time on this letter than expected. But what would we not do for our readers?

men and fashion

Fashion and clothing are (almost) always considered “girl stuff”, a nice term that means “futile”. Guys prefer to engage in manly activities like drinking their energy drink straight from the can while fingering big video game controllers. They won’t stoop to talking about rags.

They won’t stoop to that, because they don’t need to. As always, the “superficial” only applies to half of the human species: the one whose clothes in life appear as if by magic in the closet and who receives scarves every year at Christmas.

If it is “a girl thing”, it is because they are the ones who dress all of humanity and they will be ashamed if their loved ones get cold or hot. As experts, they must present an irreproachable outfit. They shouldn’t be too much or too covered. A man with a job is a bit touching. For a woman it is disgusting. You surprise me that it’s “not their thing” for guys.

Dress up your man

I asked Google again if you could “request your partner to change their clothing style”. If I’m to believe the dozens of hits I’ve received, the internet doesn’t give a damn about this scumbag’s opinion. We will renew it voluntarily or by force, and even without him realizing it.

I don’t quite understand how such a thing is possible. I guess men are decked out with brains the size of chickpeas, inversely proportional to the size of their fragile egos. Flattery would then work wonderfully well to lull the redneck who serves as our man:

The compliment: “ How sexy would you look in those jeans honey!! would then encourage him to invest in said pants. AND : “You did really well to buy these jeans, darling!! (combined with a small jig, of course, even if these articles don’t specify it) would motivate him to continue on his way… Etc.

Indeed, I confirm that this method works wonders: I use it without moderation with my 3 and 6 year olds. And what is a grown man but a grown child, and you his mother? Warning, this is humor, calm the pitchforks.

The look, real question?

Couple tensions rarely involve philosophical elements. Often, the small “superficial” details that are not, crystallize various revealing issues: lack of consideration, concern, lack of self-confidence… does it hide a deeper malaise? And does this imbalance mean that we no longer have the same values? Or that he doesn’t care at all what you think? And you, why is it so important?

This situation deserves to be faced head-on and analyzed together. Instead of letting go of valves and dubious contrasts, it’s time to be honest: you love him, you know that in himself he has the right to dress however he wants, but forcibly his negligent appearance of him makes you uncomfortable. The odds of him responding that we don’t care what people think (and other protests) are high.

It’s normal, they may not care, but you know, rightly so, that your ears will ring. It’s up to her to explain your point of view, to invoke her love for you and if she ever hesitates to make the slightest effort, you can simply refuse to let her accompany you. Unless you pay him back by adopting a rotten style every time you visit his family and friends. We’ll see if he still cares that much.

But if that were ever the case, perhaps the time has come to break free from conventions. Two of you can dive into such a comfortable and liberating world of jogging bottoms and oversized T-shirts that make us feel like we are rolling in a cloud as soon as we put them on.

I leave you, I have to put on my pajama pants to take my daughter to school,

bisette,

Your Daronne