What’s the delulu girl, the latest TikTok trend for artichoke hearts

” In love there are always those who suffer and those who are bored summed up Balzac.

For TikTok, the fields would be pretty split between realistic people and those who delude themselves into an optimistic form of denial. For the latter, a new expression designates this archetype can be as old as the world: disappointed girl.

This affectionate nickname contracts the term delirious in English, which could literally be translated as delusional. When some people tell themselves that a crush that takes several hours or even a day to respond to a text message is a sign of disinterest in the sense that it would be better to abandon the mission, the disappointed girl he clings to it and reads rather the sign of a particularly committed, therefore passionate, and probably fascinating person. Sure, Jane…

What is a delusional girl or a delusional person in love?

There disappointed girlshe is the one who loves making films, even the less realistic ones, and fictionalizing her life to the point of verging on erotomania, summarize the media ID. A bit like Carrie Bradshaw’s character in Sex and the city which takes several seasons to figure out that its squash Big is a walking red flag, not prince charming. If the hashtag #delulu has 1.3 billion views on TiKTok, it will also be because we need a healthy dose of denial in romantic matters to keep believing in love in these times of health, environmental, economic and social crises.

This comes close to the concept of limerence in psychology (which is not a pathology): involuntary state of mind of a very much in love individual, characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of feelings, involving intrusive, obsessive and compulsive thoughts », according to the Wiktionary. The latter cites American psychologist Dorothy Tennov as the inventor of this notion in her book Love and Limitation: The Experience of Being in Love appeared in 1979. This definitely had not read Stendhal and his concept of crystallization developed into Love in 1822… A lot disappoint.

Are the foundations for romantic and sexual encounters increasingly undermined?

While anglicisms are multiplying to designate more or less violent practices and behaviors in terms of dating (ghosting, breadcrumbing, orbiting, pocketing, cookie jarring… We no longer know what to invent to designate what is above all negligence and mistreatment), perhaps we can also consider that the terrain of the encounter is today proving to be more than undermined. Consider stopping the accusations rather than cultivating denial. Just to take the time to ask ourselves if and why we are really ready to do it Desire at all costsas Tal Madesta wonders in his essay on the injunctions to the couple and the race towards active sexuality which would necessarily be emancipatory (spoilers : No).

According to the statistics that scandalize the boomers (Point titled at the beginning of June 2023 “Why young people no longer make love”), young people would actually have less and less sexual intercourse. In March 2023, Ifop showed that 43% of French young people aged 18-25 had not known any sexual partner in the last year. Eight years earlier it was 25%. And the decline would be even greater in the United States, as reported in particular by the New York Timesor even The Atlantic which speaks directly of ” sexual recession “. The hour of fatigue around appointments has perhaps more than struck, as Judith Duportail wrote in her essay Dating Fatigue. Loves and solitudes in the years (20)20. With #Delulu, part of TikTok’s youth is therefore making fun of this good dose of denial which may seem increasingly necessary to dare to meet romantically and sexually today.

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