Help, I’m tired of paying for my friends’ kids on vacation

La Daronne answers your questions trying not to be too out of place.

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

Last year we rented a cottage with my boyfriend’s friends, several families, for New Years. When it came to splitting the rental price, instead of dividing the price by the number of beds occupied, the booker decided to split by family… Which was more expensive for both of them than a comfortable night’s sleep.

When my partner made a remark in conversation, no one reacted. The friend in question ended up calling him, and told him that dividing the total price by the number of beds occupied would be expensive for them… But I guess if he gets a family room in a hotel, he doesn’t ask to pay the price of a double room arguing that the family rate is expensive!! In the end, he counted 0.5 parts per baby (even for a baby) and we didn’t insist.

In short, I don’t understand why those who don’t have children have to pay for other people’s children… When I raised the question with other friends, I learned that unfortunately this is often the case, even within one’s own families.

The topic is delicate, above all because it concerns my boyfriend’s friends… Nobody likes being made fun of, and even less by those close to him. Paying for food for other people’s children is still fine, but rent represents a significant budget…

What do you recommend?

Thank you,

Marine

Daronne’s answer

My backpack

Surely, with this inflation and the upcoming holidays, the question of money (and other people’s children) is really at the heart of your worries. I don’t judge, sometimes I paid for my purchases with five cent coins. Recently.

What I find just unfortunate is that every time you have an accident like the one you just experienced, you wonder if it’s a general rule. As if you had forgotten that before being populated by parents (or bosses, or neighbors, or in-laws), the world was mainly populated by people ready to do anything to cuddle the little sea urchins that live in their pockets. .

I am convinced that even when he still had no children, the dear gentleman of your letter (so tempted to be mistaken, I didn’t get much at your respective demonstrations) found all possible tricks to spend as little as possible. It was probably already this kind of guy who threw to the waiter: ” We will divide by 5, it will be easier! When he had chosen the tasting menu and the wine, when the others had ordered salad and still water.

Let one thing be clear: becoming a parent does not turn a mouse into a Saint Bernard.

Pay for other people’s children, often the case?

To answer your question: no, in theory people shouldn’t have to pay for other people’s children. But yeah, it’s more complicated than that. You see my marshmallow, the kids eat, but they don’t get a paycheck and they aren’t damned to cook well. Believe my experience, yesterday my son sprinkled my lasagna with eggshell chips before exclaiming, ” Yum yum! “. If they are however tolerated at an adult party, they will actually eat all the chips from the appetizer and sip the whole brick of apple juice originally intended for the pregnant girlfriend, without having brought the slightest bottle of wine with them.

No, children never participate in buffets and other group dinners, but my God, what are they eating! As if the beans they were served at home didn’t fill them! Especially since, I assure you, we parents don’t always think about making an extra quiche each.

In these cases it can actually be concluded that the children eat for free what the adults, who are not their parents, have bought in the expectation that all the guests will participate in the party. I guess that’s what your relatives mean when they say they have to pay for other people’s children. Apart from this special case – but perhaps already difficult for everyone to tolerate, who knows? “I don’t see in what other context the daron ask those around them to pay for their children.

This is the general rule. That’s not to say that no parent, ever, has abused the kindness of their peers to feed, house, and entertain their own eyes. I said it above, being a parent doesn’t stop you from being a weasel. However, in these high-class moments, it is the rodent who speaks, not the daron.

To return to the entourage who back your claim, I don’t want to question your word. That said, we know what happens when someone starts complaining, we happily join the fray. The embarrassing incident, as inevitable as it is occasional, suddenly becomes a daily occurrence that allows you to integrate.

How to distribute expenses?

Thanks to your many letters regarding financial matters, I realize how sensitive and taboo money is. Well, okay, I didn’t wait for you to figure this out, but that doesn’t invalidate my point. So please go against the grain next time.

By accepting behavior that doesn’t suit you, or even worse, by refusing to address the problem, you know it will backfire. Instead of complaining to compliant relatives, who will not reimburse you for the expenses incurred, share your perplexity with those directly concerned.

Freeloaders take advantage of this monetary silence. They know that no one will dare to say anything. If anyone dared to: You’re kidding Roger, the accounts are not right! instead of hoping for someone else to step in, you wouldn’t be there.

Before accepting anything agree and book only when everyone will be happy with the agreement reached. As far as distribution methods are concerned, here is what seems most logical to me: a gîte is paid per room and the additional square meters can be included in the calculation. I thought that by leaving the first L I would never have to do math again in my life, but since I have to, I sacrifice myself:

Let’s say you stay for seven days and there are three bedrooms, one larger than the other two of equal size. Let’s also assume that the rent is 300 euros, because I would like to live in that world. This would be 100 euros per person, but the one enjoying the largest room, for example, could pay 120 euros and the other two 90.

As for the tenders, I propose a simple pro rata. If some of the merry crew members cram things into the collective shopping cart that only they will use, they add the sum to their overall contribution. This amount will be paid directly to the good soul who lent his credit card, or placed in the common fund.

And here’s the job. I should have gone to medicine.

Stop going on vacation with friends, especially if they’re stingy

I already know that this summer I will receive a plethora of letters complaining about the attitude of their family or friends. Why are you doing this to yourself? You know that just three hours after you arrive, your childhood friend’s breathing will burst your eardrums. Humans are punctual social animals. He needs to see his friends, but not for too long, especially in groups.

As for you, I don’t know who you’re planning to go with this summer, or even if you’re planning to go this summer (me, no), but if it happens again, don’t hesitate to assert yourself before it’s too late. Perhaps this way of doing things is right for your friend. After my math skills today, I don’t have the strength to do another calculation, so I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, what matters is that it doesn’t suit you. If the friend refuses to discuss it, and vice versa, stop there and go back on their respective paths, wishing you luck.

Come on, I’ll leave you, I have to cancel a reservation

bisette,

Your Daronne

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