I hate my small breasts, would it be anti-feminist to get a breast job?

La Daronne answers your questions trying not to be too out of place.

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

With the arrival of the beautiful days, I have an anxiety that grows stronger and stronger, like every summer. It’s bathing season and I’m going to have to find excuses not to bathe in public, even if I’m dying to, because I’m terribly complex about my tiny breasts.

I feel really guilty, because at 33 and with a baby (by the way, thanks to the love of my life for breastfeeding my boobs for a year and helping make them even smaller) I should finally know that I’m proud of myself himself and to love me, even if I’m not exactly what men want to see. But lo and behold, my 33 years of living in a world shaped by patriarchy have hopelessly brainwashed me.

Yesterday, for the first time, I walked through the door of an aesthetic clinic to find out about breast augmentation, and now I’m doubly ashamed. How can I claim to be a feminist with such stupid behavior?

I specify that my boyfriend, who in the end must be more deconstructed than me, doesn’t care about the size of my breasts, and he is very sorry to see me so unhappy every summer.

Dear Daronne, what am I doing?

AND.

Daronne’s answer

My little hill raccoon,

Your letter broke my heart daronne. A heart that used to have my breasts in front of it, but with all these babies on the clock, said breasts have moved downstairs. Note, this is useful since if someone shoots me in the chest, he will aim for the thigh.

I think you already know this and we won’t need to dwell on the subject too much, but having a small trunk is not a big deal. I’m not even sure that men – since you tell me about it – don’t care about the size of their females’ bras. Believe in my experience, what guys find particularly sexy is a girl who takes care of the kids without complaining while they play comfortably on the console.

But that’s not the problem, is it? If it had been enough to tell you two or three generalities to convince you to drop your shirt, you wouldn’t have written to me, right? No, because your Daronne is never wrong.

When you can no longer fuck complexes alone

Reading your letter made me think of many of my lifelong best friends. Like you, they were very dissatisfied with this specific part of their anatomy.

Only here, after years of more or less subtle subterfuges to hide a too evident absence of protuberances (obviously according to them, I would have paid dearly to have a silhouette like theirs), this complex has invited itself less and less into our conversations, without we notice.

One day I realized that we weren’t going to talk about it anymore and that push-up bras had gradually turned into crop tops, until they disappeared altogether. They had aged and if they had always dreamed of a few more sizes, the problem was no longer just one.

Unfortunately, for some, the long-awaited letting go does not happen. It’s not for lack of trying, and the first one that prompts you relax and forget about itI swear, I’ll wipe his face. If at 33 you still can’t make up your mind, I think your discomfort goes beyond the simple complex. I invite you to learn about dysmorphophobia, a psychological disorder characterized by the irrational rejection of a part of one’s body, and which manifests itself independently of your good will and your beliefs.

Breast augmentation, not feminist? She says she doesn’t see the report

Because I know how life consuming irrational phobias and anxieties can be, I obviously recommend that you consult a mental health professional to discuss this complex. You might tell yourself that it’s not that bad, that there are worse things to do, and in fact, there are worse things in existence than not swimming when you love it. But there is even better: for example, you could swim and live your best life, like a happy cockroach squirming in the river.

On the other hand, although discussing it with a therapist will do you a lot of good, you can perfectly consider a breast augmentation in parallel. When I mentioned this letter and your fault to one of the friends mentioned above, she spontaneously replied: ” Oh no, on the contrary! I find it super feminist, because that’s what feminism is, doing what we want with our bodies! “. I was already preaching for this parish, but his enthusiastic reaction only confirmed my point of view.

What is feminist is allowing yourself to do whatever you want. Not only has patriarchy been attacking us for centuries with clingy complexes, but on top of that should we feel guilty about trying to screw them, these fucking complexes? NO ! If you want a boob job, get a boob job done and enjoy whatever you can. And even if you want to appreciate the greedy stares of fennec foxes on the beach, WELL YOU CAN!

You don’t have to love your body

Sticky complexes are all the more painful to navigate at a time when the injunction to body positivity floods our Instagram feeds.

I wish all of us to enjoy our bodies as the sacred temples to our souls that they are. Unfortunately, I also know that many people will have a complicated relationship with their body shell throughout their lives. So, let’s stop for a second with the “beauty is in your head” stuff and sunset images tagged with an inspirational phrase like “Love your body, bring your life.” Beauty doesn’t reside in your head, but in the eyes of those who love you (every week I delight you with my poetic phrases, right?). You don’t need to consider yourself sublime, or even passable, to deserve your place in this world.

I say it like I mean it: You inflate us with your injunctions on self-respect, inner peace, and self-compassion. Let people make do with what they can, with what they have, and accept them, even if they can’t make it yet.

And you there, reader, come and give me a big hug, you had a lot of courage to dare to talk about it and ask for help. Come on, smush smush on your cheeks.

bisette,

PS: I’m waiting for your swimsuit photos with your new boobs, you deserve them,

Your Daronne

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