Justine, 31: “I develop a dislike for my partners very quickly”

• Name or nickname : Justina
• Age : 31 years old
• Place of life : center of Bordeaux
• Sexual and/or romantic orientation : pansexual/sapiosexual

How long have you been single?

I am single for about 1 month. It was a short relationship where I didn’t feel connected to my partner. I stayed with him for a month and a half at most.

How would you describe your singleness?

I would describe it as a form of freedom. For a long time, I had an exacerbated desire to be in a relationshipbut with time and relationships following one after the other without being fulfilled, i ended up working on myself telling myself i needed to be happy on my own before looking for a relationship.

Today I realize that I have become quite picky about my needs in relation to my partner. I tend to drop the ax quickly if I don’t feel in tune with them. I almost became a stone heart !

I stayed in the gang for a long time, I wasn’t the prettiest, or the most stylish, I didn’t attract many guys. And unfortunately in fifth grade, I was sexually assaulted by several classmates. I lost a lot of confidence in myself and in men, I had a strong period of rebellion, both physical and emotional. Sometimes I chained partners falling in love but I was never the one we wanted to be in a relationship with. It was like some form of revenge on the male sexto prove that if I want, I get!

As a student I began to feminize myself more and more, but I said to myself: “It’s now or never to test things out, no regrets at 30!” » Sexually, I experimented a lot, I let go. Until I met a guy older than me during an end-of-year internship who really wanted to be in a relationship. And I, happy for this opportunity, I let this man put me to sleep who was actually a narcissistic pervert. I had to dress a certain way, I couldn’t have male friends, my girlfriends were bad company… In short, I left a few feathers behind. I left after six months, luckily.

Read also: Pauline, 42: “It’s like I’m a virgin again”

Then I had a very beautiful relationship with a man who was 13 years older than me, I was very much in love, I would have accepted everything for him, but unfortunately the maturity gap ended up dissolving our couple. I was heartbroken, but we remained on good terms and always have a pang in our hearts when we meet, even though he rebuilt his life.

I had a long period of hesitation, chained small relationships, for a year I only attracted men in couples. And I ended up meeting the guy I stayed with the longest. For 2 years I was her sex date knowing that she was seeing other girls and pitting us against each other. I was very much in love, so I grit my teeth hoping we get married. He ended up being the case after giving him an ultimatum. And lastly, it was 2 years of emotional uplift, another guy with an ego issue, a trust issue, I don’t know, but I regularly went from laughing to crying until I broke down when we were talking about living together. I ended this toxic relationship.

A few months later, to my surprise, I fell very much in love with a girl from my riding club, a passionate and platonic relationship, because she was much younger than me, and like me at her age in the desire to experience it sexually. To my great regret, I preferred to leave her alone.

And here we are in the last few months in which I have chained several relationships of a few weeks, very passionate at first, but falling like a breath, because I very quickly develop a dislike for my partners. So long live celibacy!

Does being single affect your friendship or family life?

Friendly absolutely nobody. My parents tend to worry, especially since I told them that I didn’t want to be a mother and that I was trying to fulfill myself in my professional career or in my passion for horse riding, which I practice very regularly.

You can’t imagine my mother’s face when I told her: “No kids, I’d be much happier with a horse!” » But she begins to accept.

Do you think being single has a daily impact on your morale?

Absolutely none, a few years ago I would have said yes, but today I’m glad I don’t have to answer to anyoneso you don’t have to compromise. I’m very attached to my independence and kind of take on the selfishness of my little single life.

Does being single allow you to do things you couldn’t do as a couple?

Bring me peace! And I can make my life my way! And we won’t lie to each other, we won’t feel guilty because I didn’t do the housework or wash up after an exhausting day at work!

Conversely, do you think being single prevents you from doing things you could do if you were in a relationship?

No, I’ve always been alone and never felt the need to fulfill myself through anyone.

Does the geographic location where you live impact your relationship with romantic relationships?

Living in a city center of a large agglomeration I think can have an influence on our romantic relationships. As the saying goes : “The bigger the earth, the better the hunt”.

Are you actively trying to find a romantic relationship?

I use Tinder, but I’m not very diligent! I think back to it when I think about it, often in the evening when I’m on the sofa watching a series. I am often the first to initiate the discussion and am regularly offered appointments to go out for a drink. But in the end, I get tired very quickly and rarely follow tradesexcept if I really have a real intellectual stimulus.

How would you describe your relationship with meetings?

I am a very pleasant person, so contacts and exchanges are always easy. Maybe my job as a retail manager just helps me create interactions with the person in front of me.

Up until a few years ago, I could go beyond just a drink at the first meeting to test wares. Today, I don’t take the time to get to know the personor on the contrary, if I can’t find contacts, I quickly interrupt all negotiations.

Does being single in love impact your sex life?

I admit it today I’d rather find myself a sex date, I estimate between my professional schedule and my sporting practice that I don’t have time to indulge in a serious relationship. As I tell my friends: Right now, I just wish I had someone I see once or twice a week, chat over drinks, do my little things qualitatively, and then a kiss up front and all home. As Samantha Jones said sex and the city : “ We sleep together, but I sleep alone! »

Do you feel a form of injunction to have an affair?

Not exactly ! I get enough love from my friends and family, I am successful in my career and the opinion of others has no influence on my life choices. My mom thinks I’m making an emotional transfer to the mare I have in half board! She’s definitely right but I’m fine with that!

Do you think being single has an impact on your finances?

Yes, I’ve always been in favor of sharing costs as a couple, together we afford to go out with bigger budgets. I save a lot of money by being single!

What are your plans for the future? Does celibacy have an impact on these desires and projections?

Absolutely none. My life prospects can be done alone or as a couple. Only the future will tell me. But not wanting to have a child, I don’t stress about finding the future father of my children at all costs!

Do you have an anecdote about being single to share?

I’ve never been so happy in my life as being single! And I often tell my friends who are absolutely looking for a couple that first you have to learn to be happy alone, and that the couple will be the icing on the cake.

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