Jane Fonda regrets not being a good mother to her children

Motherhood is not innate or linear. Becoming the mother you dream of for your offspring can sometimes take years, even decades. In recent years, actress and activist Jane Fonda has spoken candidly of her regret for not giving what she wanted to her children.

In an interview broadcast Feb. 17 on HBO Max and CNN, the actress returned to this regret. Without self-pity, she acknowledges that at the time she could not have done otherwise, but that she is now trying to recover.

Jane Fonda misses the mother she was

On February 17, Jane Fonda was a guest of Chris Wallace, a famous American journalist and talk show host Who is talking about Chris Wallace?. When asked what is your biggest regret, the actress confided in her maternal difficulties:

I was not the kind of mother I wanted to be to my children. I have really, really great kids: bright, intelligent. And I just didn’t know how to do it.

Jane Fonda, Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace, February 17, 2023

The activist is the mother of Mary William, Vanessa Vadim and Troy Garity, aged 55, 54 and 49 respectively.

In 1995, the actress founded The Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Power & Potential, a charity that supports teenagers. This is an opportunity for her to discover an area that was previously unknown to her:

I learned about parenting and now I know what it is. I didn’t know before, so I’m trying to catch up.

Jane Fonda, Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace, February 17, 2023

These statements need to be put in context. At the time, the Internet hadn’t yet revolutionized our access to information. If parenting was already nothing innate, women had very few resources to find answers and solutions.

The fragile balance between life as a woman and life as a mother

It’s not the first time the actress has tackled the subject. In 2017, during a discussion with Brie Larson published by the magazine BringJane Fonda had confided that she wanted her family to love her and she worked hard to deserve it.

In 2021 it is Harper’s Bazaar that the actress has given up again, between regrets and lucidity:

When I watch my son and his wife take care of their baby, I am amazed. […] Watching my son become a parent, I think, “Damn, I wish I had. Then I realize that if I had, I wouldn’t have become what I have become. There’s probably somewhere in between, but I’ve never been a middle ground person.

Jane Fonda, Harper’s Bazaar, March 25, 2021

During the interviews, the actress suggests that, among other things, she privileged her activism over her life as a mother: the weather was not up to it, the environment of activism was very masculine and she asked us to adopt some the codes.

Thanks to the resources available and the freedom of women’s voices, the balance may be easier to find today. These revelations remind us, however, that the maternal instinct is not innate and that the child is not systematically at the center of all mothers’ concerns.