Exhausted by the sexism in my job, I dropped everything to make my own box

July 27, 2021

For more than 10 years I have worked for several national real estate development companies. I was responsible for the development of the territory and I was very proud of it… Until today, where the years have passed collecting a thousand and one little sexist comments from everyday life it jumped on me.

My first steps in working life

As soon as I graduated, curious to learn and eager to cross swords with the competition, I had no difficulty entering the world of work. There had been the real estate crisis of 2008; without even having to send a CV, I immediately got a permanent contract with a promoter publicly traded, also well paid.

I felt incredibly lucky and that was enough to satisfy me.

Committed to savoring this first victory, I didn’t immediately realize that my gender had weighed in the balance when I was recruited. It was at the end of the trial period that my boss casually slipped me into the coffee machine, which he had chosen for my university education, of course, but also because I was a woman.

In this environment, the genre does not go unnoticed

He must have seen me jump, because he immediately felt compelled to justify himself by saying that I presented myself and expressed myself well, but above all that ” it was changing » have a woman in his team of the developers.

I was 24 and had a career plan, so I smiled. I smiled, yes I made the choice to do so “positive discrimination” an asset to dive headfirst into an environment it claimed to be “concerned about equality” — the formula is not mine, but the human resources managers I met in the two companies I worked for.

The numbers could only prove him right: in the two agencies where I evolved, over 50% of the workforce was made up of women. There was a lot to congratulate yourself on… as long as you closed your eyes Lobvious disparities in terms of parity between the various operational departments.

They were receptionists, secretaries, executive assistants, sales representatives, marketing or customer service managers all women, with rare exceptions. But I only met one construction supervisor and two development managers, myself included.

At first, I think it’s an asset

Being a woman in a predominantly male function makes an impression. For me, this was undeniable and the main benefit of it. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard, speaking to myself: Ah yes, she’s the girl of the house… — and so much the worse for the surname.

In front of the owners of the land that I bought on behalf of the promoters, I had no difficulty in differentiating myself and attracting their sympathy. I was ” The lady at… » and it was always better than « All the gentlemen we have met “. I’ve been covered in kilos of vegetables from the garden by all these nice street vendors…” Because a woman cooks “, Certain !

The other benefit, especially for my employers, it was at the level of the bag…and I’m not just talking about salary.

My employers’ savings

Certainly, I was paid about 20% less than my male colleagues, with equal goals and higher university education. But above all I saved him a lot of money on the cost of food. For what ?

Because real estate development is no exception to the rule that some business is done around a good table. And I must admit that although I have often attended this type of business lunch, I’m rarely the one footing the bill. A boon for my employers: my invited interlocutors, under cover of “gallantry”.

In hindsight I realize that over the years I had become the one they sent to meet the grumpy notary, the disillusioned owner, the opponents of a real estate project or the architect who had forgotten to pay, starting from the principle thatit would be more difficult for them to send them out to graze” The girl from… “.

Alleged sexist remarks

It was years before I opened my eyes to the fact that the further it went on, the more my smile twitched, like worn down by the little sexist remarks of daily life of which I was the target.

There was that day I smiled when my boss suggested I end the day early. go get waxed for a meeting scheduled for the following day.

That day when I smiled again when, arriving late for a meeting, he trumpeted to my attention” Honey, dad is here » before four pairs of astonished eyes.

And then there was the smile on my face the day my boss asked me to do it send me to negotiate a delicate point with a miniskirt administrationWhy ” It will go better “.

What I sketched when, very seriously, he urged me not to get into a relationship too quickly and just do it take advantage of my celibacy to multiply meetings in certain socio-professional categories because ” It can be useful for business “.

Until the straw that broke the camel’s back and emptied all my stock of smiles.

I realized there was a problem

A knee that catches and here I am on sick leave.

After a few weeks of treatment and rest, I return to the office I used to share with two male colleagues. Less than an hour later, I hear my boss coming down the hall.

He seems in a good mood and not expecting to find me there, he shouts: ” Come on guys, how about a little ode to development? Boobs, big boobs and lots of dirt! »

Looking back, I tell myself that I could have reacted, go to the confrontation or why not try to take it as a joke once again. But I didn’t, because I couldn’t.

Instead, I made an appointment with HR and I negotiated my departure with her.

Moral of the story… or almost

I could have found a salaried position in the same sector, but I kept a certain apprehension deep down.

That of living the same thing in another box. Having to do three times as much as others, because certain regular observations make you feel unlawful. The apprehension of experiencing environmental sexism again…

But despite everything, I loved my industry. I wanted to continue working in this field that I love, without having to deal with all these uncomfortable situations.

So, encouraged by my husband (a former competitor, but that’s another story), me first created a structure allowing me to continue doing land development for freelance real estate developers.

So, by dint of being contacted by people a little lost in their spatial and urban planning problems, we have joined forces to take up a new challenge: to inform and support people in all their land purchase and sale projects in France through our website.

And do you want to know what makes me smile the most right now?

When prompted by land sellers grappling with land development managers. The circle is complete! And now that I no longer work with these promoters, I can finally share my story.