Lilia, a single mother, spends 616 euros on her son: “Evidently I lacked financial education”

How much does it really cost to take care of one or more children each month? What is the parental budget? Do the costs incurred vary according to the age of the children? Every two weeks, in our meeting “When we love, we count”, parents open their accounts and share with us how much one or more children cost them, monthly.

This week it is Lilia who lends herself to the exercise.

Lilia’s income single mother of a 7 year old boy

• First name : Lilia
• Age : 43 years old
• Job : talent acquisition partner in a French start-up
• Number and age of children: a 7 year old boy
• Net household budget in total: €3142
• Place of life: Toulouse

Lilia has a 7-year-old boy, not recognized by his father, of whom he has sole custody. He owns his own apartment in Toulouse.

I bought an apartment in the city because I don’t know how to drive, so I have to live not far from the town centre, not far from all kinds of infrastructure, and not far from public transport such as buses and/or subways.

Every month Lilia receives everything €3142 net, including his salary of €2908a family maintenance allowance of 184 €and she perceives €50 of for the rent of a parking space of his property.

She spends €765.64 repayment of the loan for his apartment, €228 repayment of a consumer loan taken out several years ago, €79 property taxes per month, €165 running bills such as water and condo fees as well €41 of electricity.

Expenses for childcare and hygiene for your child

After explaining her total income, Lilia shares the money he spends on his 7-year-old son.

When her baby was born, Lilia bought only a soft toy, clothes for the first months of her baby’s life and some second-hand childcare items, to €200 around. Everything else was collected by the sister-in-law who was already a mother.

I was loaned a lot of stuff when I was born, and the rest was bought on LeBonCoin. I must have spent, when he was born, approx €200, including a cot, a stroller, a Babycook, a deckchair, a playpen…

At first I didn’t buy a cot, because for months my baby slept next to me, protected by a nursing pillow that one of my best friends had given me.

When I put him somewhere else, he wouldn’t sleep and screamed, and I’m on the team that doesn’t make babies cry. But as soon as he was surrounded by this nursing pillow, by my side, he slept like bliss.

Hygiene sideLilia estimates spending a budget of €2.50 every two months, since your son has no special needs.

My son is 7, so I don’t look at this type of shopping anymore. I buy him a shower gel that he also uses as a shampoo, and for the rest he uses the same thing I do, like cotton swabs for example.

The purchased shower gel lasts more than a month. Otherwise I buy a big bottle of bubble bath for the whole family at the pharmacy, we both use it and it lasts a while.

For health, Lilia reduces her annual budget to 10.5 euros a month just for her son. You have no extra costs, as everything is included in your health insurance, covered 100% by your work. The €10.50 corresponds to a super mortgage.

The clothing, toys and leisure budget for a 7-year-old boy

As for the clothes for her son, Lilia mainly buys second-hand, for €20 about a month.

I buy used on LeBonCoin, or Vinted sometimes if I can’t find it on LeBonCoin, but also new and cheap brands like Tex, H&M or C&A. I also buy other interesting brands, but I always take the cheapest. I really like buying lots on LeBonCoin!

For the toysLilia considers the expense €20 monthly, e €20 per month of books for his son honed over the year.

For hobby of her child, Lilia explains that the budget varies according to the months and the activities:

For activities, it’s quite variable. We go to the museum and the cinema, but sometimes he does internships during the holidays, such as museum drawing, Montessori workshops, painting internships… At the moment he doesn’t do sports anymore, but before he used to do swimming. It was pretty expensive, because I didn’t go to town hall, but he’s fencing early next school year, I think.

In terms of budget, it goes from €10 per month (if it’s just a movie), a €150/200 per year (if it is an ongoing business), or even €150 per month in the months in which he takes several swimming lessons. But these courses are not all year round, just a few months during the summer.

For one-week Montessori courses, I spend €95. For sports fields, it is more between €250 and €385but he will only do it once a year.

This overall budget is rolled out over a year and includes an annual sports camp at €250a year-round Montessori course for €95but also 5 Montessori courses per day for €125 all year round, but also €50 swimming lessons and 3 cinema sessions for €30. Activities and leisure budget for the year are €45 per month.

I might as well send him less to camp or sports camp, Montessori, cultural, etc., and just spend time with him during the holidays. I do it, sure, but I could do it systematically, it would cost me even less. But I also need to breathe from time to time!

When he’s on the field he sleeps there, they are centers that belong to the municipality, he goes there every year and it’s good. When he’s at a sports field, he doesn’t sleep there, but I do things for myself during the day, like medical appointments, administrative work, and down times.

Grocery expenses for a family of two

Speaking of budget DietLilia tells us about her way of shopping for the whole family, but without special expenses for her son who eats the same things as her, for about €250 per month.

Lilia does her shopping in shops such as Biocoop, Goût d’ici, at the neighborhood greengrocer, in a shop in the Casino, at Lidl, at the market and at the butcher’s. She is not called by her son for specific purchase requests:

I don’t go to hypermarkets and do my shopping especially between noon and two when he’s not there. I’ve been using locavore baskets for a long time, so I have them delivered. With my son we sometimes go to the butcher or rarely go shopping.

I go too much on Deliveroo or to the local caterer, restaurant, or order pizzas. I could spend less!

Childcare costs for a 7 year old

Lilia’s son goes to a private school that costs €242 per month, including meals and extracurricular care, and relies on relatives who take care of her punctually, or on a babysitter at €10 Of time.

I called a babysitter once a week pre Covid but haven’t been out much since. As of 2020, my one-time babysitting budget is 0, but that can change.

When it comes out, the babysitter’s budget is over €30 per evening on watch, about five times a year, for a total of €12.50 per month leveled over the year. But more often than not, Lilia invites her family to babysit her child once in a while, for free.

Sometimes, Lilia has to go to Paris for two days for work, and her son is taken care of by a nanny. She spends €120 for two days and one night, rarely two, and this 3 to 4 times a year, for a budget of €480 annually, like this €40 per month.

Added to this are also €9 of school insurance for your child, €35 of a leisure center during the school holidays, then €11 per month, €10 of transport costs only for your child.

Transmission of the value of money and pocket money

Lilia would like reduce spending on certain budgets:

Several times a year, I look back at all the contracts I have, all the monthly costs, to see what I could reduce. Also, sometimes I make things myself, like snacks, bread, yogurt, but it’s still too punctual. I do my best! I bought a book The zero waste familyand sometimes I apply their advice.

Plus, the former bookseller that I am loves new books. I buy several books, new ones, but I also often go to the library. But I should buy more used books, I think.

I bought my apartment last September, but before that I was saving €800 a month. I quit and spent it all on construction, furniture, etc. At the moment, although I make a very good income, with access to a property in an affordable building, but some energy DIY and my son’s private school, I save less. Soon I will be able to replenish my savings and put €300 safe in one account.

Lilia tells what was the relationship with money in his familywhat has been passed on to her and her current relationship with her son:

My father was a stickler for money, trained as an accountant, and was very thrifty. We were 6 children and he had the responsibility of boiling the pot. My mother was a spendthrift. I clearly lacked financial education, when I left my parents at 18 I had no idea of ​​the value of things, I had no idea of ​​the cost of employment on the market and I had no idea of ​​how to budget, how to save, how to consume better. As a result, when I was younger (between 18 and 30), I consumed a lot, while earning less, and was often overdrawn.

Lilia tries to teach her son the value of things and money:

I’m alone, so you must know why sometimes I can’t pick him up, why sometimes I have to go to Paris for work, how much things cost, how to save money, how to earn, remuneration according to the jobs, how to manage your budget… You know that if mom buys this toy, it’s money she won’t spend on shopping, for example. He knows a lot! I openly talk about money in front of him.

Lilia opened a bank account for her son:

I put €50 per month to his account, so that he can start his working life with little money. I don’t give him pocket money, he’s still too young.

Adding up all the sums spent exclusively for her son, Lilia spends 616 euros monthly.

Thank you Lilia for answering our questions!

Photo credit image by: Eberhartmark/Pixabay

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