Selena Gomez opens up about being bipolar, having lupus and living with depression before previewing her documentary

Selena Gomez didn’t have an easy time. From her early beginnings at Disney, an industry that other actresses like Zendaya or Miley Cyrus have taken a long time to shake off, her lupus disease and the crisis episodes that led to a diagnosis of bipolarity. The artist who represents the popular culture of an entire generation talks about it at length with Rolling Stone dealing with mental illness, the consequences of your autoimmune disease, and the overwhelming pressure of perfectionism. The profile published by the media comes out a day before the premiere on Apple TV + of his documentary, ‘Selena Gomez: me and my mind’showing the most intimate moments of his last six years.

“I’ll be very open to everyone on this: I have been to four treatment centers”says Gomez in the middle, then tells how when he reached 20 he lost all sense of control and had ups and downs that could last for weeks or months. “It started with depression, then went into isolation. Then it was just that I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me. My friends brought me food because they loved me, but no one knew what it was. sometimes it took weeks in bed, to the point that even going down the stairs I was out of breath “. Although he has never attempted suicide, the idea has been running through his mind for many years. He explains in a practical way to reporter Alex Morris: “I thought the world would be better if you weren’t there”.

Also, he tells Rolling Stone about the expectations he had for his future. “I grew up thinking that at 25 I would get married”He says. “I was devastated that it wasn’t close at all, it couldn’t have been farther. It was so silly, but I really thought my world was over.”. He also confesses his difficulties in having friends in the world. “Really, my only friend in the industry is Taylor [Swift]So I remember feeling like I didn’t belong there. “which leads her to conclude that “I didn’t like who he was, because I didn’t know who he was”. In 2018, the rumors began, which led her to do so a psychotic episode of which she barely remembers anything that led to her being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

The diagnosis of lupus was also not easy, nor was everything that came with it: numerous hospitalizations, a kidney transplant in 2017 that was complicated and could cost him his life. However, her humor does not abandon her: she named her new kidney of hers Fred of hers, in honor of Fred Armisen, because she is a huge fan of the ‘Portlandia’ series. “I’ve never met him, but I secretly hope he finds out just because I want him to say, ‘That’s weird.'”.

In her greatest difficulties, Gomez finds her strength, the authenticity for which so many people follow her, listen to her, appreciate her. “I remind myself that I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the psychotic crisis, if it wasn’t for my lupus, if it wasn’t for my diagnosis. I think it would probably be another annoying entity who just wants to wear nice clothes all the time. It depresses me to think about who it would be. “ As for social media, he says he doesn’t know his Instagram password and hasn’t had access to his profile for four or five years. “I just didn’t want to know why I didn’t want to have a moment of weakness. When I was inside, I discovered things I didn’t want to find out and I saw horrible things. It was dehumanizing and truly heartbreaking. It doesn’t seem like a safe place at all, and I say it clearly.”

Behind the lights and shadows

Gomez has never shied away from speaking publicly about his struggles for mental and physical health over the years, but his “My Mind and Me” goes further and specifically delves into some of the more difficult episodes. We see Gomez crying in front of the camera so as not to hear himself “quite good”both as an artist and as a person, his difficult relationship with his body, his openness in talking about his suicidal thoughts and his behavior during his bipolar episodes. “I think there’s something in me that maybe it’s my bipolarity, that keeps me humble, in a dark way”, he says in the interview for Rolling Stone. What he tried to make bipolar “his friend”, even if it is not always easy: because of the drugs he takes for bipolarism, it is likely that he will not be able to conceive children. “This is very, very present in my life”admits Gomez, despite being convinced of it “If I’m meant to have them, I’ll have them”.

According to Vogue, the documentary shows “in a moving way the timing of his decision to go public with his diagnosis and the lack of hesitation he felt in doing so, spurred by his instinct that further opening could lead to further destigmatization”an instinct that will grow over the years and would lead her to launch the Rare Impact Fund, which aims to raise 100 million dollars to carry out Mental Health campaigns in American schools and to found Wondermind, a space of visibility and mental exercise.

Selena Gomez announced on her Twitter the world premiere of ‘Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me’, available November 4 on Apple TV +. Along with the news of the premiere, Gomez offered his followers a code to have free access to the platform for 2 months. Directed by Kashishian, the documentary offers an unprecedented look at how the tour, the physical and mental health crises, the cancellation of her “Revival” tour and the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, the solidarity trip to Kenya and even the pandemic that hit Selena Gomez.

Today is the world premiere of Selena Gomez: #MyMindAndMeto @AFIFEST. I am thrilled to share a special gift with my fans of a 2 month free trial @AppleTVPlus. Stream the movie on November 4th: https://t.co/ipG1TXPEn5 pic.twitter.com/Wy9xvvH6sf

? Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) November 3, 2022

“Today is the world premiere of ‘Selena Gomez: #MyMindAndMe’ on @AFIFEST. I am thrilled to share a special gift for my fans, a 2 month free trial of @AppleTVPlus. November.”

Selena Gomez confesses to Rolling Stone that she has thought a lot about the opportunity to publish the documentary. “I know it’s a great message, but am I the right person to get it out?”he wondered to himself, but when he saw the impact it had on the spectators who attended the first screening, he had no more doubts. “If I can do it to one person, imagine what I could do”.

‘Selena Gomez: My Mind And Me’ is available from November 4 on Apple TV +.